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Uploaded:2013-11-20
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In which John talks about his experience living in New York City. The Wimbly Womblys play Rochdale.

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Hello and welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is John Green, I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys who, as you can see, are top of the league! (sings) We're top of the league, we're top of the league, AFC Wimbledon, we're top of the league!

(0:14) Today I'm gonna talk about living in New York City, um... But first, I've got to give you an update on the team. We've mostly returned. We've emerged from our experiment in playing the B team with a renewed sense of enthusiasm for our A team.

(0:29) So we've got John Green and John Green up front, team mates in life and in love. We are keeping Ya ya ya ya ya Bamba out on the left side of midfield, and then in the back we've got Aliza Bennett and, of course, Frampton comes alive.

(0:41) Um... It should be a good game here against Rochdale. We should beat the living crap out of them. They should be humiliated and, you know, they will feel the suffering and embarrassment of having faced the greatest team in the history of league two.

(0:57) So I lived in New York City for... This is something someone asked about that I thought was interesting. OH! JUST LIKE THAT! OH! (sings) He's big, he's tough, he has a brilliant puff, Other John Green, Other John Green!

(1:11) (talks) I had a little hitch in that celebration, but it was still- in the heart- in the heart it sounded real. I mean that's just- it just reminds you of what you're missing when you don't start Other John Green and Bald John Green. I mean those are just- they're two men with an intense understanding of each other and of AFC Wimbledon. I mean, look at that vision and then he just... Just... He's a finisher.

(1:32) Um, I lived- we lived in New York in 2006 and 2007 when Sarah was in graduate school at Columbia and then also she was working for a little while as an intern at MoMA, the Museum of Modern Art there in New York. That wasn't a foul. Explain to me, explain to me how that's a foul. It's clearly just a frontal hug.

(1:52) I uh, I loved living in New York although I'm very glad that I don't live there now. You know, the great thing about- the great thing about New York City was that there were so many, so many of my writer friends were there, you know, Maureen Johnson and Scott Westerfeld and E. Lockhart... Um, David Levithan. All those people lived in New York and we were all...

(2:09) Oh! Look at that! By the way, we kept Seb Brown in the line up just because I like the cut of his jib and I like the strength that he just used! He doesn't really have a nickname but he doesn't really need one. He's just Browny. We kind of need some songs for him, I guess. Um, yeah. Or we could just call him Seb. It's a good name. He was blessed- he was blessed with a good footballing name.

(2:30) You know, and my publisher was there, Julie Strauss-Gabel, and so I got to work really closely with her and, you know, it was a really wonderful time in our lives because we were young and we didn't have any kids and we had quite a lot of free time, although at the time I felt really stressed out. I did write a book for Mental Floss Magazine in, like, three weeks once so that was a little stressful.

(2:55) But, um... But, you know, we got to go for long walks in the park. That's where I first ran a mile. (laughs) You know, these days, not to brag, but I can run, like four miles! But back then, running a mile was just... Do you remember Sarah how, what a killer that was? I mean I would finish running a mile and a half around the Central Park Reservoir and just look like a... Yeah, I would dry heave while trying to get a pretzel from a pretzel stand. Um, yeah, I was brutally out of shape. I'm so relatively fit now, it's hilarious because, of course, I look less fit. But, um, yes. Walking is much easier than it used to be.

(3:34) So, um... And also, you know, it's just such a beautiful city. We lived right near Central Park and so when I was writing An Abundance of Katherines I could, you know, walk- walk through Central Park, walk through the Ramble or whatever and Sarah had a much more flexible work schedule so we would, you know, sometimes during the days we would just kind of like take off and go to a museum or something. And those are the very idyllic memories of New York which are real and are important to me.

(4:02) However I think, like, there's also the second New York story which is that we didn't have any money and every, you know, it was just totally unsustainable. And, like, I mean, some people- some people like that and they thrive on it and, like, you know. We had this tiny little apartment and there were lots of mice in our apartment and, you know, I think that's the sacrifice that you make, living in New York. For some people it's not even a sacrifice. For some people it's like, you know, kind of the only way to live or whatever.

(4:28) Look at that great run from Kennedy! I mean, look at his sprinting style. I love that guy! Oh, and he's open! (sings) Bald John Green, John Green, he gives it all for the team, upon his moustache we're keen, bald John Green, John Green!

(4:49) (talks) Two first-half goals from John Green and John Green, that second one due to a great run from Kennedy, still with no- still with no great nickname. I mean a really- really solid stuff there from Kennedy I thought. I thought that was, yeah. That was exactly the kind of stuff I want to see. It was aggressive, he has a beautiful gait. I don't want to sort of get too into him here but didn't you think that was a pretty run of his? It just, he looked like a, I don't know, sort of like a horse or some kind of beautiful wild animal.

(5:21) Speaking of beautiful wild animals, Ohhhhh! It's S'Moore! (sings) We liked your goal, we liked your goal, we liked your goal, and we'd like S'Moore! (talks) That's what I got. What do you think? No? Alright, I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

(5:40) You know, we're still figuring it out here at Wimbly Wombly headquarters and we're turning to you, the supporters, as always - for your videos, for your own celebrations and stuff. You can either write them in comments but please tell me what the tune should be because, I don't know if you can tell but I'm not gifted with tunes.

(5:56) Oh! But you know what I am gifted with? Goals! Goals! It's the other Moore! It's the other Moore doing the robot! We've been- we've been- we've been double Moored! We just got so much Moore than we expected. His name is Less is Moore. Um. It's Less is Moore and Some Moore.

(6:15) I mean, look. This is one of the great halves in the history of AFC Wimbledon. It's four-nil against - who are we playing? Rochdale? Oh, and they're just absolutely suffering. They're suffering at the hands of a superior opponent. Everyone has scored.

(6:30) At this point- at this point, it's just a question of whether Seb Brown is gonna score a goal. Um... Oh, oh. I like your run, other John Green. I like your run! Your husband liked it too, but we just got- in the end it's just a corner. Uh- what?! Terrible call.

(6:45) But you know, we- the restaurants in New York are amazing. Like, the quality of the cultural life is unmatched. The problem is that we didn't- we didn't always take advantage of that stuff. And like I think, you know, that for our lives now, I don't look back at it nostalgically and think like, oh, I wish I was still in New York.

(7:04) I admire my friends who are still in New York and who have families now and everything, and um, make that work. And I think it's really cool. Um, but I just- like, for me, it would just be too much work.

(7:15) Like, the thing about - for me - I grew up, you know, I grew up as a suburban American, and living in this massive, crowded city, everything was... Every little part of life was effort. You know? Like, it was- it was work to like- I remember just being- like, being in the hospital was a thousand times more stressful for me, in New York, than it would have been in, uh- than it would be in Indianapolis. Um, just because like, you don't have your own room.

(7:48) Um. Uh, (half-laughing) Sarah wants me to talk about how much money we spent, We did spend way too much money. (laughs) It was just a completely like- we couldn't like, you know- it was just totally unsustainable for where- for where our lives were at the time.

(8:03) And there is, I mean, you know- I think that's not true just for us, but for really anyone living in New York. Pass it and score! Score! Score! Ooooooh! Luke Moore, with his second goal! Less IS Moore! We don't have a song for him! I don't know what to do!

(8:17) Um... Less Moore? Sarah thinks he should just be less Moore. I guess less Moore is good. So we have some Moore and less Moore. You know. 'Cause you don't wanna have too much Moore, particularly since you have two of them on the team.

(8:30) I mean we are just- this is a dominant performance. I mean, you've gotta- at this point, you've gotta say- you've gotta say, it could be the greatest victory in the history of AFC Wimbledon! That's right! Go get the ball! Let's go back and score some more! Oh. (sings) He's big, he's tough, he has a brilliant puff, other John Green, John Green!

(8:49) (talks) I love the fact that he ran into the goal and said "six is inadequate. We've scored six goals in fifty three minutes but that's not enough!" Oh this is just- this is embarrassing. Did I change the skill level?! What happened?! I mean, seriously. At this point, I think that they're just- I think we might have broken their will! I seriously think they don't have a will anymore. I think- I think they don't care!

(9:13) I think that they've lost the ability- I think they've lost the ability to fight, and that's- that's embarrassing. I feel bad. I feel bad for supporters of Rochdale right now, because they know that um- it's one thing to lose. It's another thing to have your spirit broken, which is what I think we- which I think is what we've done.

(9:30) Um... Oh, that was terrible. That was terrible defense. We're giving them a spell of possession, which is not what we should be doing. We should be putting on the pressure! It's never enough! Never enough! I can hear the supporters uh, chanting "seven! Seven! Seven! Seven!" Ohhh, almost. Seve-ohhhh! That would have been beautiful, because that was, I believe, another Moore.

(9:52) Um... Yeah, I mean- so like, the downside is that everything costs more and everything is more work - like, going to the- I remember the first time I went- after we moved to Indianapolis, I went to get a drivers license, and I- you know, I got up at like eight o'clock in the morning and, you know, was prepared to go out there and stand in line outside, in the cold, for however long, until I got inside. And then I would stand in line for another three hours, because that's what it means to go to the DMV. But instead, I went to the DMV and like, twenty minutes later, I walked out with a license after one of the most fulfilling customer service experiences of my young life.

(10:25) And um... You know. So I looked like- when I watch the first brother- you know, the first six months of Brotherhood 2.0 when we lived in New York, I do look back at a lot of it, and I say, like... Oh, you know, that was so fun! And it was. It was really, really great. It was really special and I have absolutely no regrets about it, but- for me at least, it was like- it was very much like... You know, we knew it was going to be for two years, and we had this wonderful two years and then... And then it was over.

(10:51) Oh, but you know what isn't over?! Dang it! That would've been a great call. But alas, life is full of disappointments. Ya ya ya ya ya Bamba put a nice, nice ball there, but it just- bald John Green just couldn't- couldn't get his head on the goal. Um.

(11:07) D'you see that guy in the background wearing all yellow, who's just working out? I mean, that's a weird- I don't know. Is that one of our players? Anyway. Um...

(11:17) Get it to your- get it to your husband! (laughing) Noooo! That was almost so beautiful! Um... Well, we may be content with six, despite the supporters chanting seven. I certainly want seven, believe me! As the manager, you know, I'm all in! I think we never- you know, I'm of the opinion that we never score enough! Uh...

(11:35) Score enough to like- considering all the support that we've had from the community of AFC Wimbledon fans, from Wimbly Wombly supporters, from former Swoodily- I mean, this is- like, we owe them hundreds of goals! Thousands of goals! We should be winning this game four hundred to nothing.

(11:49) Um... Oh, man. We are just- yeah. Let's- let's get aggressive. You know what, let's try to score seven. It's here in the eighty third minute.

(11:55) So um, I love New York, I certainly- like, I always encourage- I always encourage young people who want to write or to work in publishing, to try to go to New York if they can, because it's just- it is- you know, there is a great deal of, kind of serendipitous work there. Um, but it's not necessary!

(12:10) I mean, Meredith's career is testament to the fact that you don't have to live in New York. Um, mostly you have to, you know, be good at making connections and um, and then when you have opportunities, be really good at doing the job. Um. So... You know, that's the- that's the main thing.

(12:26) Oh man, did you see how his head was down? Because we broke- we broke their will. I will- I will credit Rochdale. They gave up six goals in the first sixty minutes, and you thought it could easily have been nine or ten, and then they calmed down a little. And they seem to have- they seem to have gotten a little of their mojo back. Um.

(12:48) But... That said... Ohhhh! Other John Green was lining it up a little bit too cleverly and we only get six! Goals from John Green, John Green, some Moore, less Moore, less Moore and John Green!

(13:02) I'll tell you what, we had some Moore, we had less Moore... We had a lot of Moore. That's a beautiful- what a beautiful score sheet.

(13:07) I know that you're disappointed! Of course you are! But, you know, it's not your fault that you ran into the rumblin' rumblin' freight train that is the AFC Wimbly Womblys! Thanks for watching! Best wishes.