Hank: Hello and welcome to Games with Hank, I'm Hank, this is games with me, Hank. You probably could've guessed that by now. This game is called Dragon Documentary, it's not really a documentary it's-- just a dragon simulator I guess? I don't have my Oculus, sorry, to play with 'cause it looks like it would be really fun to play with Oculus, maybe I'll try and do that later. Instead, we're just going to play it normal style like a human plays video games, not like some weird augmented future robot-human hybrid. (beep)

Alright, how does this work? OK, I've got my mouse, I can walk. I walk.  And can I-- awww you want to look around, with my head, I can't.  So I can walk and then-- whoa, I don't know what that was. wla-la. What did you just do, dragon? Wla-la. Wla-la. This button is shoot fire. Oh, I made a fire happen on the ground.

And if I push this-- oh, I went into a mountain. If I push the space bar I can FLYYYYY! I'm a dragon and I'm flying! There has never been-- I don't care about the rest of the game, this is all I want to do. I just want to be a dragon flying and I-- and then I can dive WHOOOOO and then I can fly I'm gonna crash into a tree.

OK well it didn't turn out to be too bad of a thing. Alright, what's over here? There's some houses over here! Let's-- I think that my job as a dragon is to murder humans. I think that's probably all I should want to do in the world, so let's go do that. Au-uh, I ran into a tree. Alright well let's just walk up to them and be like "Hey, I don't know, maybe I'm a nice dragon. You don't know. Maybe I am. You don't want to just kill me for no--"

Why is there a weird green spot on the-- OK they're just attacking me. They were just shooting me with guns. With no-- absolutely no thought whatsoever to whether I might be a nice dragon or not. So clearly I am not a nice dragon and I'm gonna burn these people's homes down. Burn your home down!

Gah, you just crash into the ground a lot! Oh, your homes are burning. And your nearby trees are burning as well. And I don't know why I'm always going in a circle but I am. Alright. I feel like I've taken this-- aw yeah! Take it out! Alright.

Whoa, I took back my stolen gold! I didn't know that was even a thing I could do! Congratulations to me! That's my gold you thieving humans!

I did-- oh, there's more here. More gold! Get up. Get up, up, up. Go there. Get it. Yeah! Don't you steal my gold, humans! Maybe there's something in this building, or possibly this one which is a cool building, I like this building, that's neat. Village destroyed! hahaha! hahaha!

I saw something weird over here. Like a glowing thing? What is this? Purple glowy thing. Ah! Uh. What on Earth is that!? Did it-- what are-- what is it, seriously, though? Some kind of purple glowing thing. Whoa! Whoa! There's two of them. They missed. They missed. I cannot see, there you are. OK well, he hurt me, but not so bad that I wasn't able to hurt him a lot more. Yeah.

Alright, there's another glowing guy in this, what appears to be, I believe, this home here.  Yep.  It was indeed.  I cannot--it's hard to control.  Oh gosh, he's gonna come at me.  Maybe it wasn't that home at all, it was a different house.  Oh, er, is it this one?  It is this one.  Just burn this whole house down, and then you die, right?  You will die?  Correct?  Yes.  You will die.  Right?  Die.  Purple--yeah, I got you.  You ain't got nothin' on me, I'm the dragon, I burn homes for a living because you stole my gold.  I want my gold back, I want my gold back, I want my gold back, it's probably inside of one of these homes, I bet.  I want my gold back, I want my gold back.  You can't have nothin' on my dragon. 

That's the dragon theme song.  They are not really good at rhyming, 'cause they can't speak, so that's why it didn't rhyme at all, or also why it wasn't a good song.  Okay, apparently, no gold in this part of the village, but there were--oh, no, there's some right here.  Gold.  Thank you.  My go--my stolen gold.  Oh, there's more.  More stolen gold, gimme my gold, gimme my gold, gimme my gold!  Yaaay.  Okay, I've killed those things that were--fly, fly, get up in the air, up, up and away.  Alright.  What else is there to do for a dragon in this valley?

I don't know, all the shops close at like, 4.  Stupid small towns.  Oh, ooh, there's a castle up on the hill and some birdies.  Can I burn the birdies?  Hey birdies.  I'm curious whether or not I can burn you.  Come here.  No, it appears I cannot burn the birdies.  Birdie burning.  Wh--there's something happening on the right side of my screen here that just is completely--seems completely uh, like, ooh, uh-oh, I bet I'm gonna get attacked like crazy right now.  I am, oh my gosh.  I am going to get attacked like crazy.  I got somebody.  I bet they got--do they have more gold here?  What is that noise?  Yeaaah.  Burn it.  Sounds like there's a helicopter, which doesn't seem likely. 

Oh, it's like a Da Vinci helicopter.  How did I not burn you just then?  You are going to get taken out!  Aha.  Haha.  Okay, I don't understand.  This thing is made out of paper.  It should be very much on the ground now.  Okay, I don't care about you, Da Vinci helicopter.  Clearly my targets are up here.  Ahhh, ahhh, ahhhh!  Yeah.  Uh-huh.  That's what you get.  Ahhh!  This--oh no!  The dragon, it died! 

Okay, well, you can die as a dragon, it is possible.  I've learned you are not functi--you are not fully immortal.  But it appears that all the damage I've done previously has remained.  I'm gonna get up here and get this guy, 'cause he is just bad news.  You can't have me.  Yeah!  Yeah, now I'm up here, you can't catch me, because I'm so high up.  Whoaaaa.  It's just no good to be a soldier for this guy.  How did you guys live?  Die already.  Alright, anybody right here?  Yes, excellent.  Get down, get him, get him, get him, get him.  Yeah!  Yeah, alright.  Your turn. 

Stop attacking me and I'll stop attacking you, that's the ru--wow, there's a lot of you up here.  Oh man, and it did not turn well, turn out well for any of you.  There's a--literally an arrow sticking out of my head.  You're still alive?  Some of you, but not many, okay.  How do I know when I've sacked the castle?  Hey, I thought I burned you already.  Alright, you can't just--can't just--it's hard to control your elevation.  Here I come.  It-- It's difficult to really focus on this thing.

I mean, you should be dead by all rights.  I don't understand.  Crash already.

There it is!  Gotcha.  Alright.  Took him out.

Now, how do I take out the castle?  It's made of stone, so it's--I can't like, knock it over.  I feel like I've killed everybody here, except for the birds.  It's just like I land somehow inside of the castle.

Let's burn this standard.  Who wants How to Train Your Dragon 2 poin--whoaaa.  I flapped really hard there just for--that's not what I meant to do.  I want to try and burn things down here.  I'm not so big now that I--now that I've seen myself compared with this structure.  I'm quite small, actually.  Oh, I just--I shouldn't have been able to do that at all.

Alright, well, I don't know what to do.  I feel like--I've got some of my gold back, I've killed everybody at the castle, I died, so I know that's possible, you know, that's an important part of life, figuring out how and when to die properly.  Oh, is there a wizard down here?  There is.  Oh, there were a lot of you.  I was not prepared for that.  Look at my burned corpse.  Where were you?  I want to go back and avenge myself.  Hello?  Are you over here?  Is that where I was?  It feels like where I was.  Yeah, there's like a--my burning corpse is still over there.  Strafe! Strafe! okay, I just killed a bunch of trees.

Alright, excellent, I'm feeling good about that.  Oh, yeah, clump up together, that's good.  You guys are on horses.  Apparently, horse guys are harder to kill.  Nyep.  But, you can eventually do it, just takes a little more concentrated effort.  Okay, that was not what I had planned, but they don't have guns, so that's good.  That's good.  There's another village over here.  Or did I already get this village?  I feel like this is the same village, it's just respawneded.  Am I wrong?  Am I wrong about that?  Uh, no, this is definitely the same village, it just respawned, okay. 

Hi.  Ooh.  Am I dead?  Fly, fly.  I'm dead, okay, well.  Interesting.  I feel like I've maybe done everything?  I know this is--oh, by the way, this is not a completed game.  This is a pre-release alpha, that is why there is not a lot to do.and why if you are to go over to the edge of the map here, so if I just fly off into the sunset here, which probably would be what I would do, 'cause I don't like killing humans, personally, I never do it in my normal life, you just sort of hit a wall.  You can continue flying and the aerodynamics work just fine ,but you just sit there, stopped, in time and space, so. 

Oh well, interesting.  So different units to kill and you have try and rescue your gold from people who have stolen your gold, which is great because I love gold and hate gold thieves.  Just gonna bomb--whoaaa--boom.  Yeah, oh, hey there.  What's going on?  Who are you?  Where did you come from?  Hiding in the corners.  I'm a dragon, I'm a dragon and I kill.  Man, you don't want to mess with the dragon.  They're beautiful--hey, you stabbed me and then you ran into me while on fire.  Don't do that.  Oh man, yeah, this is  too fun, it's too fun, killing humans, even though I'm getting hurt pretty bad. 

Alright, thanks for watching this episode of Games with Hank, I'm Hank, this has been games with me.  I'm a dragon and I'm enjoying murdering humans.  Let's fly away.  Let's just leave them behind.  Who needs them?  I'm just gonna find my own way in the world as a beautiful dragon who just wants to eat birds.  Come to me, birds.  Why can't I eat birds?  I want to eat birds.  Thanks for watching, DFTBA.