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There's a giant phallus in my city, . . .well, let's try to fix that.

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 (00:00) to (02:00)

Hank: Hello and welcome to Games with Hank, I'm Hank, and the game is gonna be Cities: Skylines again.  We're going back to Farzville, my town that I've been building.  I spent a little bit of time working on this town off camera because you don't wanna see what's been going on but I'll talk you through it. 

Okay, so here's my city right now.  We'll talk about the main problem with this design momentarily, but so I had some huge traffic issues, so I had to open this up and create a giant central roundabout with a six lane one-way road, which is extremely effective, except you know, apparently where these cars are driving through each other, which is not possible.  Um, but it's pretty effective, I don't know--it seems that there's a light, I don't know why there's a light, I didn't intend for there to be a light, but it does work.  I had so many traffic problems in fact, that I had to rest--like, I had to go back to a previous save and work it out, but now I've let the game run for a while, I was just basically doing maintenance, making sure that I knew what I was doing and that things were good, and now I have like, $250,000 to spend, which is great, you can check out over here our traffic.  Traffic is a huge important thing in this game, so right now, our traffic, we've got this problem, but that's to be expected, I mean, this is so much better than the situation we had before.  So traffic is very important, we've also got our land values, which have gone way higher here in this part of town, which is really exciting and it is very cool.  We've got wind, we've got happiness, no, health, health.  So maybe we should have a clinic over here.  Intersection's too close...where...where are you labeling?  That?  That one?  No, I need that one.  I need that one.  You don't know what you're talking about. 

And we've got pollution.  This area of town is super polluted.  I've had some fires, you know, that happens.  Outside connections.  We've also got--I haven't set up any transit yet.

 (02:00) to (04:00)

My crime situation is, you know, okay.  My noise pollution is fine.  But let's look at the main problem that we've got right now with this city, which is that accidentally, completely on accident, I have drawn a penis in the middle of town that, if you go this way, it looks less like a penis, so that's good, but this way, it's almost definitely--I've made a penis, and I swear, I built this and then I was like, oh, I need a roundabout, and then it was, you know, that happened, so, shoot.  That's probably something that I'd like to fix.  I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to fix it, uh, but, I feel like it's probably something I should work on.  So that's one of my main, main goals for today.  Also one of my main goals is to just build some residential, cause I think that I need to get to 7,000 citizens before my next upgrade, and let's see how--how--oh, right, I can go over here to power.  Uh, so I probably will before I get to my next upgrade, I'll probably have to build another power plant, so I'm just gonna do that now.  Let's just do a coal fired power plant, 'cause that's what everybody does.  I'm also got a bunch of new roads that I can build now.  I can build prettier roads.  Ohh, I've made those people sad, they're like, I had a view of the lake and now I don't!  I'm sorry, that is exactly what is happening.  But let's go ahead and zone a bunch of residential now.  So my water, I've got plenty of water and sewage available, looks like that won't be a problem.  Plenty of electricity available, so my main problems with this expansion are going to be just services, like, there's no parks or cops down there, so we should probably build another police station, and traffic, of course, will also be a problem.  So every time that little noise happens, that means that the kind of, I don't know what the terminology is, but the sort of building is becoming a better sort of building, a denser sort of building, and the way that this game works is kind of very strange, because in actual city planning, it takes a very long time for a neighborhood to turn over, and for like, you to go from a house, a single family residence to a different building, it's gonna take forever for that to happen, but in this game, it just--they just shoot up, so they just immediately get knocked down and the problem with that is that then, the infrastructure you've built for the existing town becomes completely inadequate, 'cause now you have where you used to have, like, four people living, you have 12 or 16 people living, and that makes life difficult for me. 

 (04:00) to (06:00)

Oh, wow, we've got a fire.  We've got a fire happening right here in my commercial district, my little downtown, I don't know where the nearest fire department is--ooh, it's not well covered by the fire department, you guys.  Where is the nearest--there's really just this area is the area of biggest concern, so let's build a fire department right here.  Space already occupied though, so that's not good.  Okay.  Then there.  That space isn't occupied.  That's not really the best placement for a fire department of all time actually, let's move that.

Operating normally, okay, I've--I'm--now I'm--I got 170 people and I'm making $2,000 a week, which is great, that's plenty.  I do need to do some bulldozing here, I don't know why they can't bulldoze these things themselves.  If you want to build in my industrial area, maybe you're gonna have to bulldoze some fire damage, that's fine.  That's life and stop complaining.

So, I don't know what I'm gonna do to make this look less like a penis, but that is important to me. 

 (06:00) to (08:00)

It's important to my long-term health and (?-6:08)

Look at these cars, look at this roundabout functioning, it's so pretty.  It's so much better than it was before.  It's still not great, but you know, people gotta get around, it's not easy.  What is that?  What is this thing?  Low--my land value--whatever, you're al--like, literally in a park!  How could your land value be low?  That's ludicrous.  You have a tiny house compared to some of these giant houses.  This guy's got solar panels.  Look at how beautiful this game is, you guys, I freakin' love it!  Oh man, it's everything I ever wanted.  We need some more industry, which is really annoying, 'cause I'd rather not.  6,344, alright, speed up, I need to get to 7,000, you guys, that's all I want in life right now, is to get to 7,000 citizens in this game.  Alright.  They want industrial, I'm gonna give it to 'em, even though I'd really rather not.  Look at them go, they really wanted it.  We were in need of that.  Oh, I should probably build some more--I should buy some more land, too.  I can do that now.  Crossroads and intersections that are too--yeah, I got it, I know.  You really don't like that intersection.  Uh, so, this one seems to be the one that I want the most, because that is the one that I'm bumping up against the most, so I'm just gonna purchase that.  And now I've got more land, you guys!  Life is good, look at me!  I've got all this more--I've annexed more land into my city and I've now got a railroad, ooh!  Goodness gracious, Farzville is twice as large, the penis in the middle of town is the same size, though.  Oh man.  What have I done?  This is a design problem.  I mean, before this thing, the traffic was backed up onto the highway. 

 (08:00) to (10:00)

It was bad news.  I've got 600--ahh, 31 people, I've got a lot of residential demand all of a sudden, you guys better start--I should build a park or something, make you guys bump up your awesomesauce.  Education, ooh, you guys need a school, huh?  You need a school.  Why don't you have a school?  Four uneducated people in that residence.  The Concords are uneducated and I don't like it.

Let's have it here.  Yeah, look how happy I made 'em, ohh, they're so happy.  Everybody's happy, the whole frickin' school's happy!  Alright, everything's--everything's coming up roses, you guys.  The only thing people want is more places to move into.  Oh man, everybody wants to live in my town.  We've got 6,700, I don't need that much more, probably should just zone all of this outside area residential and have people move into it, please.  And now I have commercial demand, so I have commercial demand, so really what I should be thinking about is how to make this not look like a penis. 

I really hope I don't accidentally make this look even more vulgar.  Big town, everybody, I'm a big town!  I can now have taxation policies, I can be two kilometers by two kilometers, I can have fi--level five, I can have a metro, education boost, tax raise for low-densi--oh, yeah, oh, I get tax raises, oh my goodness.  Ohhh my gosh, now I get to--okay, where's my super high value land?  Oh, all in here, all in here, yeah, alright.  So let's--how do I do this?  Uhh, I don't know how I do this.  Do I have to dezone first?  So...neow, oh, no, I lost all those tax payers.  And then high density.  I don't know if this is going to work.  I don't know what happens.  Oh yeah!  Got some big old buildings now! 

 (10:00) to (12:00)

Aw, there's--that's just gonna mess up traffic so much.  I'm excited about this innovation of--I lost a lot of people, but I'm gonna get a lot more, I hope.  Fingers crossed.  Alright, now I'm gonna build offices down here in this area that I just created off the side.  Okay.  Now let's build some office buildings.  I don't know if there's gonna be any interest in this office buildings.  Alright, this is exciting, this is very excite--oh my God, time just keeps flying by, am I talking at all?  I have no idea.

Okay, how's my high density residential?  Well, that is clearly a different density of residential right there.  I don't know if that resulted in many more people moving to my town.  I assume that it did, but now we've got--so let's check out our land values again.  Did that decrease or raise land values, I can't really tell.  It seemed to have decreased them a little bit at least.  Have you noticed you can now zone--I did notice that, I should do that.  Let's do it all in here.  My central area, you're now going to be high-density.  What is this thing?  Not enough educated workers?  Well, I haven't built a college yet, it's been a really busy time for me. 

I should totally build a university, I totally need a university!  Where should it go?  It's huge, it's very big!  Oh, whoa, that made the whole city really happy.  They liked it, they like that university, okay.  And let's build a bus stop.  So how does the bus stop work?  And then I build bus lines.  Place bus stops to create a line.  Bus stops need to form a circular line.  Oh.  Oh, what's happening? 

 (12:00) to (14:00)

What's happening?  I don't--I do not know.  Cancel.  Cancel.  So, go on up here?  Add stop.  Add stop.  Add stop.  Add stop.  And then add stop, and then just go here?  I don't know.  I don't know what's going on.  I feel like--don't you have to go back to the bus station eventually?  Isn't that how these works, these bus stations things?  I do not know how this is working.  This does not seem like a good system to me.  How do I get to the bus stop, back to the bus stop?  I'm so confused right now!  Ahhhh, bus stop! 

It has not been connected as a loop, which prec--ohhh, okay.  So I had to connect it to itself.  That makes sense, I guess. 

How many people do we have?  Not very many more.  I thought that high density residential would significantly increase--you would think going from a house to  giant apartment buildings would--look at 'em go, though, this is pretty.  Whaaaat's that?!  Look at this frickin' giant building I got in the middle of my roundabout!  Yeah, that's frickin' awesome!  Look at that!  That is exactly the kind of thing I wanted to see!  Yes!  It's got a helipad on it!  I got really excited about--ohh, the traffic is getting super bad.  Traffic is getting so bad, nooo.  The high-density!  It's so high-density.  Oh man.  This is a lot more like what traffic looked like when I was having the problems with traffic.

 (14:00) to (14:53)

Alright, well, thank you for watching this episode of Games With Hank.  I'm Hank, and the game has been Cities Skylines.  I'm gonna have to fix a bunch of stuff now that you're not gonna wanna watch me fix, uh, so thanks for watching, and it's still--still looks like there's a penis in the middle of my town, but now I got another one of those big buildings, so I'm very excited.  Thanks for watching, DFTBA.