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Uploaded:2014-07-30
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In which John talks about his recent trip to Ethiopia. The Wimbly Womblys play Millwall.

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Hello and welcome to Hank Games Without Hank. My name is John Green. I'm the manager of the fifteenth place AFC Wimbledon. It's not good. Not a good number.

(0:07) Uh, we're gonna try to get better. Um, we've- we've made a lot of acquisitions here in the transfer window. The most important acquisitions are Dicko and Who Deeney. Who? Deeney. Who Deeney. Dicko and Who Deeney. Um, it's like a buddy cop movie. Dicko and Who Deeney, out on the road, solving crimes. But instead, they're out in the front of our 4-4-2, scoring goals.

(0:33) Um, so when John Green and John Green, or John or John Green can't play, Dicko and Deeney will be. So I have very high hopes for Who Deeney. He came at a significant cost to the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys, and we'll just have to see how it all works out.

(0:50) Um, today I'm gonna talk about my trip to Ethiopia. I guess I should also give you an update on the squad. Everything in Wimbly Wombly land is pretty good. That's a Moura got injured. He's gonna be out for two months. That's a nice tackle! Um, and, you know, we're still trying out just a ton of new players as part of our strategy for um, for getting through the championship. Now obviously, that hasn't been going so well so far.

(1:15) Uh, we are fifteenth in the championship, and that was not a very good cross. But- this is early- and it was offside- this is early in the season, we're still figuring a lot of things out, and I have- I still have great hope. I have fantastic faith in Dicko, um. You're not gonna find somebody who believes in Dicko more than I do. And uh, I have great hopes for Deeney as well, so I think that we could be in good shape here. Um, we just gotta wait and see.

(1:40) So, I just came back from Ethiopia. In fact I have not filmed an episode of the Wimbly Womblys since before VidCon, and even then, I only filmed like, three or four. So, uh, I'm a little bit rusty. I don't totally remember how to play FIFA. Um, 'cause I haven't played it in like, three months. But, whatever. To be fair, I was never that good.

(1:57) Oh no! Oh, what a save! What a- ohh, double save! Speaking of double, ohh! Oh! You can only ask him to do so much, Meredith. You know what? There's a lot of things Seb Brown can do in this world, but one of the things that he can't do is save three balls in a row. That was a disaster. Just an absolute disaster. As the very unlikeable, you've gotta say it, Millwall, goes up one-nil over AFC Wimbledon.

(2:27) That's a nice looking- that was a nice looking pass! Why don't we do that more often? Here's Mose Vestergaard. He's supposed to be great! Nah- that left something to be desired. It was a floater.

(2:36) Um, I've just got back from Ethiopia. It was the most interesting, enjoyable um, trip that I've ever been on in my life, which is not something I thought that I would say. I went because I kind of felt an obligation to- I felt like if I was gonna be, you know, at all serious about the problem of global poverty- hit the post, that's something! At all serious about the problem of global poverty, that I needed to, you know, visit places where poverty is endemic, and talk to people directly instead of just um, you know, instead of just paying attention to statistics and stuff.

(3:11) Um, but it was a really great trip. I met a lot of really interesting people, of whom Bill Gates was one, but uh, but I met a lot of other people as well. Um, who are working hard on this issue, from health extension workers, who just have tenth grade educations, and are women in their communities who receive one year of training, and at the end of that year are able to do everything from treating malaria to treating tuberculosis.

(3:41) They're pretty- it's a pretty amazing uh, amazing thing, these thirty five thousand women in Ethiopia who really have transformed the Ethiopian healthcare system from being very, very um, ineffective, to being a model for lots of poor countries. It's a pretty cool story. Um, and a lot of the women, health extension workers, I met were really interesting.

(4:09) So were the people in the women's health army, which is the coolest name for an army ever. It's a group of women who are all volunteers, about a hundred and fifty thousand volunteers around Ethiopia who take responsibility for their communities. Um, they are the ones delivering pre-natal care, um, education... Like, one of the things about being a parent, that you don't know if you're not a parent, is that you don't know how to take care of children. Like, you just- you don't know. There's no like, course for it. Um, oh, God. Is it gonna be two-nil? (inhales sharply, sighs)

(4:52) No, I'm just going to have to provide very interesting commentary Meredith, because God knows I'm not providing good game play.

(4:59) We're gonna be in the relegation zone after this game if we don't watch out. But! AFC Wimbledon is a team that, by its very nature, deals with adversity well. I mean, we were born of adversity! So we can do this! Dickooooo! Oh no, it's Deeney! In his first game! He's big! He's tough! He doesn't have a song yet! He's Deeney!

(5:22) Look at him dominate the Gaulden child! He's about five feet taller than the Gaulden child! Look at big Who Deeney! Ohhh, it's like magic. How's that? Something like that? Who Deeney! Uh, it's not magic, it's- I don't know, you guys are better at writing songs than I am.

(5:40) Anyway, suddenly, there's a glimmer of hope! The standard Wimbly Wombly glimmer of hope. Always evaporates.

(5:48) Um. So. I was very impressed with the healthcare system there, but I mean, I was also really, like, astonished and overwhelmed by the- by the poverty.

(5:59) It's one thing to- right, what I was saying about being a parent, is that you don't know how to be a parent. So for instance like, um, you should introduce solid food beginning at six months, and certain solid foods are better than other solid foods. You have no idea about this stuff unless someone tells you. So these women um, in local communities, uh, do that stuff. Like, they do the education. They do the pre-natal care. Like, they get like, you've got to take- you're supposed to take these vitamins, like iron and folic acid and stuff. And um, and so they do a lot of that.

(6:35) Also education about sanitation, like one of the big success stories in rural Ethiopia - 83% of people live in rural areas in Ethiopia, and one of the big success stories in the last five years is latrines. There are way more than- oh, oh, oh, oh! Ahhhh. Deeney. You're better than that, Deeney! Doesn't have a great head on him, but uh, apparently- that's my guess.

(6:58) By the way, I'm playing Other John Green at left midfielder. Just as kind of an experiment. I feel like we don't experiment enough with the John Greens - all the places they might be able to play. We don't know for sure - look at- I mean, look at Other John Green. He's brilliant at getting back in defense.

(7:12) Um, so... I was really uh- I was- so there are lots of success stories, and like, the statistics bear out those stories - they're not just anecdotal, you know. And definitely when I talked to people um, around the country, I heard over and over again that they felt like their lives were better than they had been ten years ago. Um, you know, that- but there is- you know, just a ton of progress to be made.

(7:45) It's a- you know, most of the children I met didn't have shoes and wanted shoes, there were lots and lots and lots of places without clean water that- where the people- that was pretty much their number one need, it seemed, was- you know... If you have clean water, it makes a lot of parts of your life easier. Um, you have more access to- you've just- way more time! More time to take care of your kids, more time to work, more time to do all kinds of things.

(8:14) Right now in a lot of these communities, women spend- almost always women- spend hours of their day going to and from water, and, you know, they carry these forty pound um, these forty pound water jerrycans, that they have to fill up, for water. To do, really, everything. So- that was really- kind of astonishing to see, these...

(8:45) Deeney's coming out. He had a good run. He had a good game, but he's tired. Um, to see just the extent of, how much that affects your day to day life. Not being able to get easy access to water.

(9:02) Uh, there's just a lot of- there's a lot of need. I mean, agriculturally, you know, there's a huge issue with being able to increase yields so that there's enough, you know, there's plenty of land in Ethiopia. Um, if the- I'm making three substitutions all at once, like the pros do - there's plenty of land, it's just a matter of getting the yields where they need to be. Like, it's very difficult for farmers, because they have to be able to afford good seed - they have to pay for good seed, and they have to pay for fertilizer, but obviously at the beginning of the- oh noooo!

(9:40) Oh noooo! What a stop! What fantastic footwork! Um, that was beautiful. That was a thing to behold. Oh, and there's Hells Pells! Hells Pells! Hells Pells! No. No. If he'd passed it to Bald John Green, it was a goal. If we can get a replay there, if he'd just- 'cause the keeper had started to move... If he had just made the decision to pass to John Green, it was an absolute sure-fire no-doubt goal. But he went a different direction, so we're still down two-one. What a great comeback this would be.

(10:13) Um. Anyway, uh, I was um... I was- you know, there were definitely times, particularly when dealing with kids, uh, that I felt overwhelmed and really, really sad. Um, but I also felt uh, a lot of, you know, a lot of excitement about the things that are being done there and, you know...

(10:37) I got to spend some time at the university of Addis Ababa on my last day, and that was really exciting, because meeting young people graduating from college... I mean, there's like three or four thousand college graduates from the university this year. Like, that's just- there were eleven, you know, forty years ago. It's tremendous progress. And like, that- that has to be taken seriously and seen as real- real impact.

(11:06) Um, so it's- the other thing that I really noticed while I was there, is that the heroes of this story are all Ethiopian. So like, we in the West like to think of ourselves as the center of the development story, but that is not true at all. Like, the- it is an Ethiopian story.

(11:25) Um, alright. It's gonna be John Green. John Green. John Green! (shouting) To Bald John Green! To his husband! (screaming) It's a goal! John Green to John Green! (sings) John Greens, John Greens, Bald n' Other John Greens, they're the best forwards that Wimbledon has ever seen!

(11:42) (talking) Oh, it was beautiful. Oh, God. He has such a beautiful, big head, and he just whips it around! Oh, he would be whipping his hair back and forth, but he has no hair. Oh, my God. Other John Green - let's just look at it one more time - to the man he loves above all others, Bald John Green! Oh, God. Team mates in life and in love. And you could just see it right there, look at Bald John Green, he's like, I know how it's gonna come, it's gonna- yeah!

(12:05) Okay, alright. How long do we have to find a winner? Four minutes! Four minutes to go two-nil down, to three-two up, which truly is the way that you win the cup! Come on, boys! We can do it! I don't- we're not trying to win a cup right now, but you know what I mean! I'm telling a story!

(12:23) What?! Callum Kennedy?! Ohhh, that was as bad as your hair! Kennedy just flat-out missed the ball. There's no other way that you could say it, it was just a nightmare scenario for Kennedy there.

(12:36) Oh, what a nice job! What? What was wrong with that? It was just a beautiful tackle! It was a little bit of a knee-hug maybe! Oh, my God. The rules in this game are offensive to me. Once again foiled by the referee - we would be winning right now! Um, we really would be!

(12:54) Anyway, it was an awesome trip, I wanna- I'm so grateful to Gates Foundation for making it possible. On the Vlogbrothers channel, you're gonna see lots and lots of videos- including me interviewing Bill Gates, in the coming weeks. But um- that was not a good pass! I don't know what that- what the idea there was.

(13:08) It's a two-two draw, it's great comeback! We don't- I don't wanna take anything away from the great comeback. Obviously there is still progress to make, from the perspective of the Wimbly Womblys. We've got a long way to go!

(13:18) Buxton's like "who am I? I didn't even know I was playing on this team!" Neither did we, Buxton. Neither did we. Thank you for watching! I guess we're gonna have to start to like Buxton. He's got nice hair, at least. Best wishes!