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In which John has a very long day of travel, repeated naps, consideration of palm trees, red carpet styling, Paper Towns promotion, Fault in Our Stars celebration, and collects an MTV Movie Award.

Shailene Woodley's astonishingly kind acceptance speech when she received best female performance for her role as Hazel in The Fault in Our Stars: http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/1185453/the-award-for-best-female-performance-goes-to.jhtml#id=1735082

And when The Fault in Our Stars won Best Movie: http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/1188967/and-the-movie-of-the-year-award-goes-to.jhtml#id=1735082


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Good morning, Hank, It's Tuesday. I woke up at 4:10 AM on Sunday and got into a car with Sarah.   How you feelin' Sarah?   Sarah: Poorly.   John: And drove through the dark to the Indianapolis Airport, got through security and picked up The New York Times because my editor and publisher, Julie Strauss Gabel, was profiled in it.   Then I took a brief nap which Sarah was kind enough to video, got on the plane, read a great profile of Toni Morrison, and enjoyed the view, and five short hours later, we landed in Los Angeles, where, of course, sunshine and blue skies, because: drought.   Got a car to the hotel, took a nap which ended when you called me, opened the window to briefly contemplate the role of the palm tree in the California landscape, but then I got distracted by the huge pile of books in my room. I wasn't sure what they were for but I signed them out of habit.    Lunch came via room service, but we were tight on time, so I had to get in the bath. I know I could have saved time by showering, but showers are disgusting; having water droplets pelted at you like an attack from above is just uncivilized. Plus there's the indignity of not being able to eat while getting clean.    I ironed my shirt, got my make-up done -- God, I love make-up! -- and prepared for the MTV Movie Awards.    I'm sorry Hank, I was about to tell you that I'm dressed, but, in fact I'm not because there's been a sock emergency: we're changing socks. Now I am dressed. Also, I've switched to the iPhone camera for subtlety, so sorry about the shaking.   We met up with Elise and drove past yet more palm trees to a different hotel where there was Justice Smith a.k.a. Radar,  How are you?   Justice Smith: I'm so good!   Also Alex Wolff and Nat Wolff, seen here getting his hair done. And then we drove to the awards.   Fans: *Screaming*   John: Maybe at some point that will stop being weird, but not yet. Hank, it's difficult to express the intense and overwhelming strangeness of this stuff. I mean I was happy to be there, and happier and more grateful still to be there with friends and family, but in this moment, one feels that these photographers are imagining you as an object that they need to acquire rather than, like, an actual human being.   How does this feel, Alex?   Alex Wolff: Terrifying.   John: And, in turn, it's very difficult to feel like they are actual people, like the kind who, as Whitman beautifully put it, "contain multitudes". Instead, it feels like they are objects, clicking cameras, and your overriding concern is that, in the brief photographic intersection of light and time, the object version of you that they capture is not, like, picking its nose or doing that weird thing with its smile it sometimes does.   But then it was over, and Cara Delevingne showed up and she always makes me feel better at this stuff because she knows just how to handle it all, and she and Nat and I got to introduce a clip from Paper Towns of Q and Margo Nair-ing off Chuck's eyebrow.    And then we were rushed in to the show itself which was really fun, except the whole time I was distracted by this giant, thin-legged, popcorn bucket that seemed to be staring at me in a vaguely lascivious way. I'd be like, "Oh this is fun, I'm havin' fun, oh yeah, I could dance a little bit," and then God that giant popcorn is still looking at me!   But anyway, Shailene won for best actress for her role in The Fault in Our Stars, and she was so kind about me in her acceptance speech that she made me cry. And then during the commercial break I was still crying and Nat told me, "This would be really touching if you didn't cry over, like, a good meal," which, you know, fair enough.    And then, The Fault in Our Stars won for best movie, and everyone had told me that, if we won, I should make the acceptance speech so that I could thank Esther, and I got to, and it was amazing, and I know it's not the Oscars or anything, but whatever; it was our Oscars, and it was so great to be there with Nat and Justice and Cara and Shai, and to have this moment to feel grateful for The Fault in Our Stars at the same time as I could feel excited about Paper Towns.    Right, so go back to those famous L.A. palm trees, for a second; they are not native to Los Angeles, and, in fact, can't survive there without copious amounts of watering. They're cool and beautiful and totally unsustainable and unnatural, much like the whole screaming machine of celebrity.    But later at a restaurant with my friends, like, the real complicated, multitudinous people who made The Fault in Our Stars and Paper Towns, I kept thinking about how we actually care about each other and hold each other up. Not just when the cameras are off, but especially when the cameras are off.   And then my friend and movie producer, Isaac, made me turn my camera off which was the best part of a very good and very long day.    Hank, I'll see you on Friday.Hank, I'll see you on Friday.