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[whip cracks, throat clearing]

Maybe you've been in between someone's legs with a penis in your mouth, wondering, "Spit or swallow? Am I going to take this warm salt smoothie in or spew it onto the sheets? Am I going to slurp up the nut mustard or kiss it into my partner's mouth, AKA snowballing?"

Thseusna proposes there should be a third option, which is, "I don't want you to ejaculate in my mouth at all." 

And there is a third option!

In addition to spitting or swallowing semen, you can use a condom. There's a link to Sexplanations' blowjob tutorial in the description that includes beginner, intermediate, and advanced cheeking, putting a condom on with your mouth. The barrier is there; the blowjob happens. If the person expels fluid, it goes into the prophylactic — fancy name for condom. Simple, easy to clean up.

Or there's a fourth option. You can redirect the sweet, sweet spunk to another part of the body or the room. This is called a cum shot or a money shot in porn -- externally ejaculating visible emission in all its glory. If the teste-milk lands on the throat, that's a pearl necklace, on the stomach, cumtummy, and the face, it's a facial. Careful to avoid the eyes, because it feels like a tiny tadpole army invading your cornea. Yeeuuaahh.

Bukkake is when semen is ejaculated all over the body by multiple dicks, and gokkun is when semen is collected in a container for someone to drink, meaning you can redirect the jizz to a champagne flute, then swallow it anyway. Gokkun, gokkun. Japanese version of gulp. 

I did a quick poll on Twitter: When receiving a blowjob, do you ask the fellatrix, the person giving, where you should come? Like whether they want you to come in their mouth or your stomach, etc. The vast majority of respondents said yes they do ask, or would if given the chance. "I'm about to come. Where do you want it?" "Anywhere." "On my chest." "Come on my tits!" "In my hand." "My hair. I'm gonna use it as a moisturizer." "My stomach is fine. We can just wipe it off." "Ooh, put it on the inside of my shirt." 

People have become impressively vocal and consensual, negotiating, asking for permission. I'm so proud of you! Maybe the days of surprise splooge that makes you gag are gone. Eh, I can see losing the ability to communicate when you're coming, or for some, not knowing when the eruption is going to happen. Still, moan, bang your hands around, do what you can to communicate that it's gonna come out. 

If the throat has situated itself for cock, which is already a feat, and then all of a sudden an additional element is added, the volume, texture, temperature, and/or taste can trigger the pharynx to contract, gag, choke.

Can't tell when you're gonna come? Have a pre-coital conversation. Ask before head how to manage the dream cream. Weigh the pros and cons of all the options together.

Pros of spitting, for example? The blowjob ends in the mouth, where it's soft and wet and warm, but no one has to imbibe. You can taste what it's like but not commit to swallowing it, especially if it's unpalatable.

Cons of spitting? There's a body fluid to deal with, and maybe some hurt feelings that the semen is not what you want, not delicious, not sexy.

Pros of swallowing: Semen can have zinc, potassium, magnesium, calcium, citrate, vitamin C, protein, fructose, glucose, chloride, lactic acid, and urea in it. Some of those are helpful nutrients. Studies have shown, though not on a grand scale, that ingesting semen is correlated with less depression, inflammation, and acne. It can increase your lifespan, smooth your skin, whiten your teeth, and stop the brain from aging.

Cons of swallowing: This goes for spitting, too. Semen can transmit pathogens. Chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, which can lead to throat cancer, HIV, and trichomoniasis can all be passed from one partner to another via semen during oral sex. Some people have semen allergies, which on their skin might just be a rash, but in their mouths can lead to numbness, nausea, and diarrhea.

Pros of redirecting: The visual display, what happens just before orgasm, how the person moves themselves. You can witness more, because your head isn't all, "Gwahhhh," in their crotch. I like playing with it. Another pro of redirecting semen is that you can kiss during orgasm or kiss after. Some people aren't keen on having post-spit or -swallow kisses for reasons, so if there isn't chowder residue, [sing-song voice] kissy face inviting in.

Cons of redirecting: Again, the clean-up of body fluid, problem-solving where to put it, interrupting the blow job just before climax, not getting to taste or feel it in your mouth, the benefits of that whole five calories of nutritional knob nectar. There are pros and cons to every option.

Final thoughts: You can redirect semen into the vagina, anus, or a sleeve. Redirection just means not the mouth. You can rotate or mix up options. You can redirect to your bellybutton, taste it, and decide, "Ooh, that's nice." Next time, swallow. The time after that, use a condom, and then the time after that, give head where you hold it in your mouth and then slowly drip it off your tongue to make a snail trail on your partner's sternum. Just because the cum shot has happened, doesn't mean sex has to be over.

If taste is an issue, you can direct it under your tongue or to the back of your throat, where there aren't taste buds, or you can add saliva from your own mouth to dilute it. If you want to alter the taste, diet and health in general have been known to influence how sweet or bitter semen is. Fruits and veg make it sweeter; nicotine, caffeine, and preservatives, not so much.

You do not have to like penis, you do not have to like semen, and you can like one without liking the other, or like them both. You do not have to go down on anyone. You do not have to have sex of any kind without a barrier method. You don't have to swallow. There are many ways to express sexuality. Stay curious.

I got toys from! If you go to, you can get special toys like these. This one is a penis, which you've probably seen in our episode on DIY semen, and this one vibrator, it's a vibrator. That's what you call them. And a sleeve at the same time. So there's spikes on one end, and then smooth on the other. And if you put these in your shopping cart, any number of toys, you can get one for 50% off an eligible item plus free shipping on your whole order to the US and Canada. And then you can play with them together, like this. Or less sticky-wise. Use spit! Like, [laughs]. 


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[light bouncy music]

Don't get turned on. Don't get turned on! Hehe.