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In which John discusses how to become an adult for Charpy and Kate who donated to Project for Awesome. The Wimbly Womblys play Southend United.

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Hello and welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is John Green. I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys. As you can tell, we are well clear of our nearest opponents in league two, because we're the best team in league two.

(0:11) We're so good that we just... we just ensured our ticket to the FA Cup Final at Wembley Stadium in front of 90,000 people. This is bananas.

(0:24) Um.. Starting the, er, no nice way to say it, the AFC Wimbledon B team. Do you see how many people have the nickname C? C Fayre. C Jacquart. C Arthur. Uh, C Arthur. That's funny because B Arthur was on Golden Girls. Um, et cetera.

(0:38) Erm. So really. I guess we're really not starting the B team, are we Meredith? We're starting the C team. Um... Today... Oh god, I hate myself. Um, today I'm gonna be, er, we don't need to win this game but we like to win them anyway. And also this is good experience for young AFC Wimbledon players who may be part of the future of the club. Um, also, the rest of our team is so tired it's not even funny. Um, but yeah, these guys - I mean, we have a real - we have a real talent problem at AFC Wimbledon, but we're gonna try to improve it over the summer. The basic problem is that we don't have enough players, and the players that we do have, um, are not good enough. But! Um, it'll all work out. We'll fix it.

(1:23) Er, so today's topic comes from Sharpie and Kate. They say: "the thing we would most value your opinion on is how to become adult. Like, really we would like some advice. Sometimes it seems as if lying around all week and watching Wimbly Wombly videos and Pinteresting surrounded by dead cups and coco pops bowls is incongruous with becoming legitimate adults."

(1:40) Um, first off, I don't know what a dead cup is. Is that a thing? Is that a- is that a thing among the teenagers these days Meredith? Do you know what that is? Meredith doesn't- even Meredith is too old to know what a dead cup is. Um, is it a drug thing? Is it about- is it an ecstasy derivative? Are you- are you using the drugs? Um, nah I'm just kidding. Yeah, yeah, nothing like getting high and going on Pinterest!

(2:05) Um, yeah, so, here's my honest answer to that, and I- this isn't going to be very helpful probably. But like, everyone is faking it. No one - no one feels comfortable being an adult. Everyone feels like an imposter. I feel like an imposter all the time!

(2:28) I was just at this erm, I was just at this party - the Indianapolis Business Journal named both Sarah and I to the forty under 40 list. Um, forty people under the age of 40 in Indianapolis who are making a difference in the business community or something. I was totally delighted about this because I love Indianapolis and - anyway, so I went to the party and I was very nervous to go to the party because I just- generally I feel like kind of a schlump as it is and then you have to go to a party and, I don't know. It made me nervous. I was really anxious about it.

(3:03) Um, and um, the whole time I was there I just kept thinking like "wow, I really do not belong here, I am not- not actually one of Indianapolis' forty under 40. This is a lie and I do not deserve to be here and this is weird." Um, I don't think you ever stop feeling like an imposter, but, um, there's something kind of liberating about realizing that everyone else also feels like an imposter. Like, I remember reading Phillip Roth talking about um- talking about self-doubt as a writer, and just thinking "well, I mean, if Phillip Roth, you know, if Phillip Roth is like I don't know if I'm any good, then, what the- of course I feel that way!"

(3:45) Look at this great run from C Arthur! Oh! He is a golden girl! Get it! Ohhh. Tell you what, Bald John Green puts that in the back of the net ten times out of ten. Don't wanna be mean about it, just being realistic. Um, then we've got a, not a very good track of the ball by good old Fayers here. Oh! Oh, Fayers tries to make the turn but he's just, you know, the guy is- he's not the fastest kid on the block. Terrible track there. Mmm!

(4:14) You know what? We're gonna get there. And the other thing is that you never know- when are you gonna find a ya Bamba, you know? They say ya Bamba's only a 54 skill level - the guy's scored ten goals this season, you know?! He scored- so anyway... Um...

(4:26) To your point, Sharpie and Kate, it's okay- it's okay to drink Coco Puffs- or eat Coco Puffs and- and, you know, not feel like a proper adult. Like, part of- oh, God! Seb Brown. No. It's funny, 'cause you know, Seb Brown made that save against Arsenal when I needed it to, and now, when I don't care if he does, he doesn't. So that's fine, Seb! Just- you know what? Stay comfortable and don't get injured. That's how- that's what matters to me right now, buddy.

(4:53) Um... It's- it's okay. It's not okay- I think like, the- what happened to me, anyway, in those years, is that I would start to feel like I was useless, and then I would have a hard time doing anything. And that of course is not as okay.

(5:08) Like, it's important to do things - I'm a big believer in doing things that need doing and like, trying to find things that need doing, whether that's work in the form of employment, um - anything that needs doing. Uh, you know, washing dishes needs doing at restaurants. Like, uh, serving tables needs doing, stocking shelves needs doing.

(5:24) But- you know, I think it's really- I think it's really good- it was good for me anyway - to find things that need doing. But they don't have to be work - they can be- or paid work, anyway. They can be things like volunteering, um, that needs doing. And uh, and it's- you know, it can be tremendously fulfilling.

(5:39) Um, but I- I think like, if you let that feeling of um, "oh, I'm sort of useless and can't do anything" get to you, uh, then it can really like, be paralyzing and stifling and keep you from doing things that need doing. Um...

(5:55) That said, at least in my experience, it's okay to eat Coco Puffs for dinner. Um, that's like one of the pleasures of being an adult - there- so I think, for me anyway, I try to take pleasures in the pleasurable parts of adulthood. Um, which include eating Coco Puffs for dinner on occasion, being able to make my own schedule, deciding when I go to bed, um... Things like that. Uh... Now, of course, I then also have to live with the consequences of needing to like, get up early for work and be miserable, as I was this morning, 'cause I stayed up late last night. Um, late, in our family being 12:15. But um...

(6:34) But yeah, I think like, that- it's okay! That's part of being- that's part of being an adult. Um, and- and it's kind of the fun part, right? Like, when you were ten or eleven years old and you used to think like "man, I wish I could eat candy at night!" Well, you can now! You know? There's no one to say "no candy at night". That's- that's great! That's good. You should be happy about that and don't be afraid- I think like- at least, for me, don't be afraid to take advantage of that.

(7:01) Um, but... You know, it definitely does help, I think, to feel uh, productive, or to feel useful. Um, and for me at least, the way to do that was to find, mostly early in my career, kind of like volunteer opportunities or just to do things that I really enjoyed. You know, maybe that's Pinterest. Maybe that's- oh, that was almost a beautiful through-ball! Uh, maybe that's, you know, playing FIFA and uploading the videos to YouTube. Maybe it's being active in the Nerdfighter community or um, or volunteering at a soup kitchen... Whatever it is.

(7:37) That stuff can be really kind of scary to do and overwhelming and I know that, because I've been overwhelmed myself, trying to do it. But it's also really useful and it can feel really good. Um, so I think- that's- I guess that's as close as I have to a recommendation.

(7:52) Is anybody not tired? Do we have anybody who isn't tired? Hells Pells - he's tired but he's less tired! Fayers, it was a heroic effort - just kidding, you weren't that good. And um... Porter, you're coming on! You're coming on for the patron saint of lost crosses, K Sainte Luce. And um... Mmm... Lizzy Bennet? You're staying on the bench. John Green? Uhhh, let's try to get a goal and steal this thing! Okay. Here we go!

(8:24) Um... Oh, they're from England, so a dead cup is probably an England thing! Um... But you know, I think there are ways to be like, active in a community um, that- uh, that feel really productive, even if you aren't doing like, things that other adults associate with success or whatever. Um, and that's- I guess that's what I would encourage you to do. Get there! Mmm. I'd like to see a little more courage on the ball! You know what I mean?

(8:52) Um... It's like anything, Sharpie and Kate. It's just like Wimbly Wombly football. Like, you've gotta be one of those players who's willing to uh, put yourself out there a little bit, um, in order to- in order to kind of like, have a fulfilling adulthood. I really do believe that.

(9:07) So I know that it's hard to go do that stuff, um... Yeah. Um, but I think it's really valuable, and I think you end up- like, that's- that's where you end up getting value out of life and also where you end up like, making the relationships that become really important to you... Um, in those communities, whether it's the- you know, the community of the people that you work with in your job, or the community of the people you work with in the volunteer thing that matters to you, or the communities that you're part of - the Wimbly Wombly fan community, the Nerdfighter community, whatever it is. Um, that- that, to me, is where you get the real- the real value.

(9:42) That's where like, that's the stuff that I like about being a person. And it's also- I find that once I can kind of- once I do that stuff, even though I'm- you know, it can be quite draining for me and really tiring - once I do it, I feel- are you kidding?! Are they- are they Barcelona?! Did you see that goal, Meredith? There- they did a bicycle kick, for God's sake! Seb Brown heroically saved the bicycle kick because he's Seb Brown, but you know- and they just- they poured guys into the box! They must be playing for something. They must be on the edge of relegation or something, Southend United.

(10:15) Um... By the way, I mean, I'm not gonna make a joke about the team named Southend United, because it's too easy! I'll just say that context is everything. Um... Uh...

(10:27) Yeah, so I- I like um, I really- one of the things that Sharpie and Kate said in their message to me was that I seemed to like being an adult and like what I do. And I do! Um, I'm very lucky to like what I do, and I do like being an adult. But a lot of what I like about being an adult is about like, the relationships, um, and the stability in them, and that didn't come for me like, quickly, in adulthood. You know? It's not like that show about- get it! Ohhh. You'd expect John Green to score there, I would think, but he didn't.

(11:00) Um, we're gonna go all-out attacking here for the last ten minutes and- just, again, we may lose this game but we're learning! You know? We're learning about our team. We're learning about each other. Get there! Ohhhh, that's- you've gotta finish in that situation, don't you think?! I mean, I don't wanna criticize... But Bald John Green sets you up like that, puts you alone with the goalkeeper - it was a great run, don't get me wrong - fantastic run - but you've gotta- the shot one time and you've gotta get there. Uh, you gotta- that's a chance you've gotta take.

(11:32) Look who's up! It's Seb Brown! Seb Brown, in the box! Okay, get Seb- get Seb the ball. Ohhh, they don't wanna pass it to him. Typical. Ohhh, I was offside! Coming back from an offside position. Again, it's just like- it's basic football intelligence stuff. That's a little frustrating. Um...

(11:51) So, the other- yeah, the last thing that I wanna say is that - I know I say this all the time in Wimbly Wombly videos, but I really mean it - adulthood is not an event. It's a process. So, you know, this isn't something that like, you feel- it's like anything. You don't feel mastery of the violin the day after you pick it up, um, and I think, you know... You know, being in your sort of post-school life is like that too. It's not gonna happen immediately. It is going to happen though. Like, it- you will get more comfortable um, with the process or experience of being an adult, over time. Um... And, you know, and then it'll be down right fun!

(12:28) Go ahead and celebrate, Southend United, we're still 25 points atop you in the league! And we're going to the FA Cup final. I'm sorry for disappointing the home fans! That isn't how- look, we never wanna lose a game, we're not proud of this. I'm gonna go give the boys an absolute tongue-lashing in the locker room. Context is everything.

(12:47) But! You know, let's be realistic. Let's know where we are in the season. It's- it's still pretty- things are going pretty well. None-the-less, Kennedy is squatting in shame! Thank you for watching. Best wishes.