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BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, submission, Sadism, and Masochism. This video is the second in our series covering each of these forms of kink and how to participate safely, sanely, and consensually.
To watch the first of the series on Bondage click here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxH4DD-y1y0&t=
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This is the second installment of our 6 part series on BDSM -- sexual expression in the forms of Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission,.

Sadism, and Masochism. [WHIP CRACKING, COUGH]. First I want to make sure that I have your informed consent to not only tell you about sexual discipline but to model it.

It is important to me that everything on Sexplanations is safe, sane, and consensual, or SSC. And today that it’s also RACK. Risk-Aware Consensual Kink.

Meaning you are knowledgeable about the risks of being disciplined and responsible for your own well-being. Risks may include lowered self-esteem, self-doubt, fear, feeling humiliated, emotionally hurt, and disrespected. You may also experience arousal, a sense of power, freedom, and a desire for more.

This is a list of disciplinary actions categorized by what will and won’t happen during this episode:. I WILL praise you when you’re good, tell you my expectations, correct your misbehavior, and dismiss you when I’m done. I WON’T Yell, Beat, Sexually harass, Humiliate, Denigrate, Threaten, Scare, Spank, Restrain,.

Demand sexual positions, Or climax (Though these are forms of discipline some people get off on.) Skip the video and go to another episode if you don’t want to participate. Stay if you consent to play. Right then... [CLAPS TWICE].

The dress I’m wearing isn’t needed to demonstrate it, but it does help me mark that. I’ve assumed a role as your disciplinarian. I want you to focus on my words and give me your full attention.

The Oxford Dictionary defines discipline as “the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using punishment to correct disobedience.” In short, instruction and correction. Kinkly.com, a website for fearless talk about sex, explains “Although punishment can go hand in hand with discipline, it typically focuses more on helping a submissive learn what is expected of them and how to act accordingly.” It’s helpful. Like me telling you to breathe and do your kegels.

Delphine Belrose, a femme fatale with a love for corporal punishment, breaks correction down into three parts: 1. Building awareness, 2 providing education and 3. Framing the consequence or outcome.

For instance, if you make an honest mistake, it is my responsibility as your disciplinarian to point it out and teach you how I want you to behave instead. I would only punish you if you willfully misbehaved and I would be explicit as to why you get a spanking or a time out. I think we can improve your posture.

Sit tall, shoulders back, chin up. When I give you instructions, I expect you to say “yes, ma’am.” I didn’t hear you. [PAUSE FOR “YES MA’AM”]. For some of you this may seem unfamiliar but the structure of knowing what’s expected of you and clear feedback to your actions can feel really safe and erotic.

Which is why an estimated one in every 3 people seek these types of interactions. [SMILES]. There’s so much about sexuality that is uncertain -- whether or not the other person will like your kissing, what to do with your hands, if you’ll get wet, get hard, have an orgasm, or cuddle afterward. Discipline on the other hand is an organized and very predictable sexuality.

You’re asked to do something such as kneel, close your eyes, touch yourself, or hold your screams and depending on whether or not you do determines the outcome of your sexual experience.... ...if discipline is done well, consistently with guidance. According to Amp and Bolt, two kink educators on the channel Watts the Safeword: “Discipline should be done with the perspective of teaching/molding/helping someone grow, and is not about causing pain or discomfort just because the disciplinarian didn't get their way. Discipline is not always a form of physical correction.

Discipline can be as simple as a look or even a gesture meant to correct behavior or get an emotional response.” I might pet you or moan to show my approval. Or wait silently until you do what I want and remove the tension. Or if you behave, I might scowl and shake my head.

This goes with psychologist Edward Thorndike’s Law of Effect, which states “any behavior that is followed by pleasant consequences is likely to be repeated, and any behavior followed by unpleasant consequences is likely to be stopped.” If I arch my back when you touch me right, you’re likely to continue. If I tell you you’re being naughty and wag my finger at you, you’re likely to not do whatever it was again. Naughty.

Naughty! A skilled disciplinarian will mostly employ positive and negative reinforcement to help the other person learn how they want them to act. Positive as in adding something to a situation and negative as in removing something -- not negative as in bad.

Positive reinforcement would be like complimenting someone or giving them a treat for a desired behavior. Something that rewards you for doing what I want so you’re more likely to do what. I want you to again.

You’re being very good right now. I like it when you’re patient and attentive. Negative reinforcement is removing something adverse so you’re more likely to do what.

I want you to. Sexplanations removes your boredom and ignorance so you watch it. Coats block the cold air from hitting your skin so you wear them.

Toilet paper wipes shit from your ass so you use it. You’re more likely to repeat the behavior of implementing those things in your life because they take away something unfavorable. Punishment, which should should relate directly to the infraction, is when I remove something desirable and/or add something undesirable.

For example, let’s say you aren’t taking care of your sexual well-being because you’re spending so much time on the internet, on your phone... Positive reinforcement would be the orgasm or the praise from others for getting yourself off or taking care of your sexual hygiene. Negative reinforcement would be the stress-relief or dissipation of sexual tension that comes from doing the self-care, and punishment would be me taking away your devices until you improve the state of your sexual well-being.

It’s for your own good and you did give me permission to discipline you. I think we do this to some degree in most of our relationships and for sure in our sexual ones. Discipline me to respect fidelity.

Discipline me to clean my genitals. Discipline me to come harder!!! Kinky or not, sex is full of discipline.

Consent is discipline. Going to the gynecologist. Wearing clothes in public.

Birth control. Learning to climax. Coming out.

Putting yourself out there. Masturbating. And one the world needs more discipline on -- paying for porn.

These are all learned behaviors conditioned by our environments through discipline. If give a blowjob without biting the penis, my partner is more likely to enjoy it -- maybe they give me a massage to say thank you and disciplined, like this, I’m more likely to give them a blowjob in the future. Wearing a condom during sex, I worry less about becoming pregnant.

This negatively reinforces me to order more condoms when I get low -- I discipline myself to take the time and pay the money for stress relief. It’s about training and reinforcement to get a desired sexuality. And sometimes it’s about being given explicit parameters because clarity feels good.

Or so bad it feels good. Discipline comes from the Latin word discipulus meaning instruction or knowledge. It’s come to mean ‘mortification by scourging oneself’ or shaming by being whipped.

You can choose what it means to you, clever and or kinky, discipline yourself to stay curious. You are dismissed. If I arch my back when you touch me right, you're likely to continue.

If I wag my tail and call you naughty, then you're likely to not do -- [

Maia:] "Wag my tail"? [LINDSEY LAUGHS].