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Uploaded:2015-05-29
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Breaking up is hard to do! When should you break up? How do you know if you should? Sexologist Dr. Lindsey Doe is here with tips for how to break up with someone the RIGHT way, so you won't feel broken yourself.

P.S. This is the first part a two-part series on how to break up with someone, which is a question we receive a lot. We asked Lindsey to guest host a video on the topic, and she wisely insisted that we make a video on how to *decide* to break up with someone (or do anything). Click here for Part One: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxWSGwJzDlY&list=PLvdeRYvP0yPWuDfZOPMorvnCB7ez69Y83&index=1

Be sure to check out Lindsey's channels for more fantastic content! http://www.youtube.com/sexplanations ; http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIrzMjHRj6ggMlmjIkWZ1xw

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Written, Hosted, and Edited by:
Dr. Lindsey Doe
(http://www.youtube.com/sexplanations ; http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIrzMjHRj6ggMlmjIkWZ1xw)


Executive Producers:
Hank & John Green
http://www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers
(00:14) My name is Lindsey Doe and I'm a Sexologist, and serial monogamist. I have a YouTube channel, called Sexplanations, and this is your episode on breaking up.

(00:23) There are many ways to transform a romantic relationship into a non-romantic one. But, there are things I would avoid. Like, punching the person in the face, or ignoring them until they get the point.

(00:32) So you could wait until someone else comes along. Stop talking or spending time together. Move! Like, pack up your things and drive away. Text, email, put it on a sticky note. Or, sit down over tea and say good bye.

(00:42) In most cases using your words is the healthiest way to go, but that doesn't have to be done in person, or with an explanation. There's no right way to change, just less hurtful ones.

(00:51) Assuming you've done the task of deciding to break up, video guidance here.. This is the video about how to break up.

(00:58) 1: Ask yourself what you need - you're part of this break up too. Do you need space? Support? A party? A lawyer? Put these things in place so that you're prepared before you say goodbye, and not while in the midst of it.

(01:09) 2. Ask you self what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of being lonely? Of hurting the other person; retaliation; making the wrong decision; sadness; guilt; memories? You don't know what your future self is going to experience, but you can be aware of the feelings your present self has about it. Hold this up to the possibility that the future could be better than you possibly ever imagined, for everyone.

(01:28) 3. Use the acronym THINK. Is it Thoughtful, Honest, Intelligent, Necessary, and Kind. And communicate just that. 

(01:36) 4. Consider what the other person needs. You've been in an intimate relationship with them. Hear what they have to say, and then, like I've done for you, encourage them to self-care, and hope for a better future.

(01:46) 5. Take really good care of yourself. There's nothing shameful about the way you relate to situations. He was your partner, now he's your former partner.

(01:54) The best break up line ever - our relationship is going to be changing. It's like renting or buying a house, you could have every intention of living there forever, but if it's not working our or whatever reason, I hope that you find a better home that suits your needs, and you move your belongings there with grace.

(02:08) That's a metaphor for packing and unpacking your emotions carefully. With consideration for others, but not responsibility for them. You've got this!