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Last sync:2023-12-04 16:00
In which Hank beats up an architect, is annoyed by some lute players, accidentally kills a civilian, and, of course, visits the pink and blue infinite grid of fail. And then maybe turns into the Swedish Chef a little?
Last time on Hank Green plays Assassins Creed Brotherhood 2.0, I killed a chubby guy at an orgy! Which is, kinda really how I like to spend my Thursday nights, killing chubby guys at orgies. Um, and since then, I've, I've walked around a little bit, I got some new armor, decked out now, much stronger than I used to be and I went to- I initiated a Leonardo war machines mission. And that is what I am doing now, I am tracking down the bomber. Um, I finished that memory sequence, that banker memory sequence so that is all done now, but what I need to do is now find the architect so he can tell me what the plans are, and where the bomber itself is. Jump into this. 

Um, I do not currently need to uh, avoid guards, I don't think. So, I need my eagle vision, but that's all I need, right? Ugh God- I hate the freaking lute guys! Why is that a part of this game? Like being annoyed by people with lutes- why, why is that something that the game designers were like, 'You know what really we should have, is people to stand in front of the player while he's trying to play the game, like the lute people and the beggar women, so he will get so frustrated that he will want to murder innocent people.'

Look at this drunk guy. Aw man. It's the middle of the day, sir! Save it! (1:32)

Looking for a guy. Maybe I should get up some place high so I can see the guy from up high. *singing* I can see the guy from up on high. There is no guy to see here. *normal voice* Move along! Yes sir, I shall. Don't see any guy. 

*woman in the game: what the devil is he doing?*

Uh, yeah, what is he doing? That's a good question. I don't even know and I'm him. Sooo- lute guy, out of my way- *sees guy* there you are! There you are. Target located, follow the architect to a secluded area. Do I have to not be detected by him? It looks like he's going to those arrow things on his head.

*to the annoying lute player* I'm going to punch you. Here, have some money. There, that's- now you don't wanna bother me with your lute. 

I have a feeling that I am going to want to punch this guy- *gets spotted* what, what, what? No, nothing. Yep, it's all good. Why do you care if I am following you? How do you know who I am and what I look like.

Alright, there's another lute guy there. How come you never bother anyone else? You only bother me. I- yes. Excellent. (3:03)

No, I'm no concern. Ugh, why do I even care if you see me? Beat up the architect to discover the location of his blueprints- his yellowing prints, rather. Hello, I punched you. You gonna try to punch me back? You're not even gonna try? No? You're- you're an architect after all. Okay. Gimme the plans. Yes, you will now, after your blood sprayed out of your face... all of those amazing ways.

Okay, get out of here and don't tell anybody I just beat you up. Got it? I am now notorious. If I had just killed that I guy I wouldn't be "now notorious". So, what the frick? Why didn't I just kill him? Oh geez that is bad. Okay- oh geez, oh geez. Get to hiding. Oh- why, why are you walking toward me? Why are you-? Ugh.

Are you following me? Cause that would be bad. Okay, you are. You're following me. I'm not above poisoning you... if it comes to that. Okay, you're not following me. *man walking by: what's he got to hide?* I've got nothing to hide, I'm just standing here! That's what poison is for. (4:39)

That was close. You just stop paying attention to the fact that I exist. Thank you. Excellent. And you down there, you shall never notice that I exist. Good. Um, I think I'm gonna have to kill you so you won't see me doing stuff so let me just wait till you come back around... come back around any old time. Come on back around, thank you. *makes noise*Alright good. *random person yells: He is a murderer!* What? What's a murderer? Nobody's a murderer! Who told you I was a murderer? (6:12)

Okay, where's this guy? Which way are you facing, sir? I'm going to get past you without you seeing me- excellent! In a tree, and right around here is my blue dot which is of course blueprints which are not in any way shape or form, the color blue, but there's a torch right next to them so that's convenient. Now I have to reach the bomber. 

What do I got? I've got crossbow bolts. Nobody worry about me. Oh geez, oh geez, that big guy sees me. No he doesn't. Okay, he didn't see me and now everybody's like 'What the frick just happened?'.

Oh geez- *desynchronized* aww what were those guys doing there? Aww man. That stinks. I thought I did a really good job of that. Alright, pink and blue fail grid. Infinite grid of pink and blue fail. (7:15)

Alright. Yeah, I know being detected will cause desynchronization, that's why I haven't been detected. Ugh- I totally got detected. Okay, this seems like me the right way to do things. Uh, you know, there's a big gate up there with two big guards, they see me when I'm like 25 feet away, so I'm gonna have to kill them somehow, the crossbow seems like the way to do it. 

Um, it doesn't look like I can blend. Maybe I can blend... Can I blend? Hello, can I blend? *lute starts playing* Oh my god. You are making my life miserable. Alright I'm blendy. I'm so blendy. Can I shoot you from here? This seems extremely dangerous. Ah- I did not kill- somehow a civilian stepped in front of my crossbow bolt, so... I killed a civilian! And now I feel bad, and I'm dead. Great. Fantastic. (8:23)

9:23 seconds since I've begun this episode, according to my clock, which is admittedly probably a little bit off. Alright, is there another way over these walls? Doesn't appear that there is another way over these walls. *laughs* You just jumped into- okay, get off the thing. Um, any other way? There's that over there... will that get me in? That just doesn't seem smart to me. Um, nope. That doesn't look good. 

Okay that guy's told me he's seen me so maybe if I kill that guy first... *desynchronized* Ughh I hate my life.

Okay, I need to get to the bomber. *weird voice* To the bomber, need to get to the bomber, and I can't do cause there's the big guards and I just got to get the guards- to shoot the guards without the guards shooting and seeing me. So I just need to be a little bit faster. A little bit faster. Alrighty, excellente. Now, wishing there was a place to go. There's at least this.

*normal voice* So, any guards around? Okay, I'm in. I am in. I just need to be a little bit more rapid. And I'm just walking in the bushes. You cannot see me, because I am walking in the bushes. That guy's just poking in that haystack he's just like I know- I'm walking in the bushes, you can't see me, stop increasing your arrow thing! Okay. Good. Maybe you were like, 'That's suspicious, he's walking in the bushes.' 

I've not been walking in the bushes. What are you doing ma'am? Just some yoga? Weaving some magic tendrils? What are you doing? Hello- excuse me? What- that is a weird- oh it's hard work, you're just working hard at whatever it is that you are doing. That was weird. Okay.

So here- I assume I have to infiltrate this- *weird noises* -stop looking at me! I am so far away from you. Okay. Good. I assume, and there's this box, and this box looks like I should be going to it. I'm in a restricted area, as if I wasn't- hey, what- that was really stupid. Also that. Okay, get up there. Alright, good first steps. Okay, hoppity, hoppity, hoppity, good. And hop. And cross. Excellent Ezio. Excell-ezio. Go up, up, up, you can do it, good, good, one more, one more, and- there's a guy. I assumed there would be a guy. So just come on over to me, Mr. Dude, amble your way over. Good. And I will assassinate you, and that is where we're going to end this episode of Hank Green play Assassins Creed Brotherhood 2.0. On me, killing that dude. So you will not see me and I will not see you, but you will hear me next time on Hank Green plays Assassins Creed Brotherhood 2.0. Goodbye.