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Thank you to everyone who has participated in the Project for Awesome! And now I need your help in punishing Hank! DFTBA!
In which John answers many questions asked of him by Nerdfighters.
And thanks to youtuber DavidtheNovelist for the answer to the white room question.


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A Bunny
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Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday, December 18th, and this is what the "Most Discussed" page of YouTube looks like: ("Most Discussed" page of YouTube) Nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter nerdfighter Mike Huckabee.

Hank, it's Question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters—but before I do that, I need to answer some questions related to the secret project: (question)What do you think of the secret project? (answer) There was a moment yesterday in the middle of watching hundreds of videos, and talking about them with thousands of nerdfighters, where I thought that other than my wedding day, this was the happiest I'd been since I was, like, seven. I mean, the last thing that made me this happy was probably Fraggle Rock. It's just so amazing to see all these people come together to support each other and all these worthy organizations.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. And watch the videos, find charities you like, and support them. (question) Is there going to be a punishment before the end of the year? (answer) YES! Hank textually communicated with me in the comments of Nalts's video yesterday.

And so now we get to punish Hank! Merry Christmas, me! Nerdfighters, we don't have much time, so I need you to suggest punishments (and lots of 'em!) in the comments.

Hank, it's going to hurt so bad. You know how creative the nerdfighters are. Now onto the rest of Question Tuesday. (question) If a nerdfighter falls in the forest and there's no one there to hear her fall, is she still made of awesome? (answer) That's an excellent question, and very possible, because everyone knows that one: nerdfighters are clumsy, and two: we do spend a lot of time alone.

The answer is that nerdfighters are made out of even more awesome when they act nerdfighterly when no one is watching. (question) What's your favorite type of muffin? (answer) Blueberry. (question) What's the meaning of life? (answer) Other people. (question) What unit is awesome measured in? Is it kilo-sweets or kilo-cools? (answer) I think there's too much awesome for it to be kilo-anything. I think it has to be giga-cools. (question) Ralph and Wayne can each cut down five trees in two hours if they work together.

How fast does each person cut down trees if Ralph takes twenty minutes longer per tree than Wayne? (answer) Ralph takes an hour; Wayne takes forty minutes. (takes phone out)Hey, is this eighth-grade mathematics? Yeah, I know, I just have a little bit of news for you. Um, you've been pwned. (question) What single book benefits most from having "in your pants" added to the title? (answer) I believe that would be the Flannery O'Connor classic, Everything that Rises Must Converge... in your pants. (question) Will you please shave? (answer) (suddenly clean-shaven) Sure! (question) Do authors really put as much symbolism into their books as English teachers seem to think you guys do? (answer) Yes, we really do, I promise.

But the thing is, even if we didn't, it wouldn't really matter, because the reading experience would be equally rich with or without authorial intent. What I'm saying is that if ten thousand monkeys writing on ten thousand typewriters happened to type out Hamlet, Hamlet would still be a really good play and a really rewarding thing to spend your time with. (question) Should I buy your books? (answer) the kind of question that's sure to get you featured on Question Tuesday. And yes. (question) Is your book Looking for Alaska based on real-life experience? (answer) Mmmmmmmm.... yes and no. (question) What is the book you most wish you'd written? (answer) Huck Finn. (question) Who the eff is Hank? (answer) Hank is a small island in the Pacific Ocean.

First colonized by the Spanish in 1521, Hank is today known primarily for his beautiful coral reefs and large American military presence. (question) Do you believe in the paranormal? (answer) I'll tell you one thing: I don't believe in the normal. (question) If a monkey with a lightsaber battled a lemur with a lightsaber, who would get pwned? (answer) Frankly, I find it very difficult to imagine a situation in which either the lemur or the monkey emerges from that battle unscathed. I mean, you have to remember that monkeys and lemurs don't know what light-sabers do, they don't know how they function, and they don't know what happens to you if you get in the way of its light beam. Honestly, what your question makes me think is that we need to get to work on monkey-proofing our light-sabers. (question) If you and Hank found yourselves trapped in a two-meter-by-two-meter white room with no food or drink, who would get eaten first? (answer) I have a couple of questions about your question.

The first is: are you implying that someone would get eaten second? Furthermore, a two-meter-by-two-meter room only has two dimensions, and that means that we would only have two dimensions. Now, I'm not an expert in two-dimensional people, but my suspicion is that they don't need food or drink in order to survive, so no one would have to eat anybody. (question) If you had a medieval battle cry, what would it be? (answer) Nerdfighters, tonight we dine in front of the TV while watching Battlestar Galactica.

But tomorrow, we dine on pizza while discussing Hank's punishment in the comments section. Hank, I want to say thanks again to everyone who participated in the project. Nerdfighters for the win!

And I'll see you tomorrow. Scavenger hunters, my dad has your clue.