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In which John talks about dating when you're an introvert. The Wimbly Womblys take on Bolton.

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Hello and welcome to Hankgames Without Hank! My name is John Green, I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys, today taking on the Bolton Wanderers. Bolton, of course, home to Fabrice Muamba, one of the- a player whose career ended on the pitch when he had a heart attack in the most dramatic and terrifying and awful thing I have ever witnessed on a football pitch. I was watching on television. But every time we play Bolton, I think of Fabrice, who, despite not being able to breathe on his own for seventy two minutes, not being able to have a heart beat of his own for seventy two minutes, survived. It did end his football career, which is tragic, but- but he's, you know, doing very, very well. Uh, and I follow him and his fiancee on twitter. Erm, and they seem to be doing well.

(0:48) We're still in ninth! We've got seventeen points. Erm, sorry. I don't know. I'm doing my best! I'm just not that good. Uh, we're starting John Green and John Green even though I flagrantly said that they were going to pick up their kid in Ethiopia, because it turns out that there was delay. Some kind of bureaucratic thing. they're very upset. They don't wanna talk about it, I don't really wanna talk about it. Hopefully they will be gone for three games soon, at some point, and then we will know. But yes, they were supposed to get on the plane and then suddenly, some kind of nightmare, payments not received and visas not getting through. It sounded horrible, they're very upset.

(1:23) Um. I'm sorry. I- I don't like to tell sad stories, but that's what happened. So, um, what else is- what was I gonna talk about today, Meredith? Was I gonna mention that I have meningitis? Because I still do! And it's very uncomfortable. I don't- has anyone else- has anyone in the Wimbly Wombly fan community had viral meningitis? Why does your head hurt for so long? God, I never have headaches! I hate them! These are terrible. I can't believe people live with headaches! It's awful! Do you ever get headaches? They're terrible! It's horrible- it's, it's, just- like, argh!

(2:00) What am I talking about again today? Ohhh! I was going to talk about being introverted and dating. I was going to give some dating advice, because that's my specialty, since I was so good at dating. Um, you know, just kidding. I was terrible at it. I never really enjoyed dating. Um. And er, and sure enough, now I don't have to! So yay. I really- that's something that I look forward to never, ever, ever doing again. But lots of people enjoy dating, there's no reason why it can't be fun. It's fun to meet people, it's fun to go out and do things, and if you're into that kind of stuff- I'm just not.

(2:30) Um, so I- despite the fact that I talk a lot in public and make things for public consumption, I am erm, like, very introverted. I- my work, um, is- is introverted kind of work. I write, which is me staring at a computer screen alone, like thinking through things that might happen and then writing down the ones that interest me most, I guess.

(2:55) And then I also make videos, but the videos- at least until 2012, were extremely introverted, and in some ways even more introverted than writing, because I would make something where I'm talking to a camera and then spending several hours alone with it, editing. Now it's a little more collaborative, especially like CrashCourse and Wimbly Womblys, because I have- I have Meredith here. But um, but even now, you know, the team of people who work with- who work on this stuff, it's a very intimate team, and I- I like them a lot and I trust them a lot. And that's really, really important to me, because otherwise I don't think I could do it, 'cause I would just find it really exhausting. So in a way, the best of making stuff for me, is still introverted work. I like collaboration, but I really like being by myself (laughs).

(3:46) So! Ooh! Ohhhhhhhhhhh! It's beautiful! It's beautiful! I think he was trying to run all the way to Addis, to pick up his baby! But it was a beautiful goal, and it just goes to show you that even in difficult times, John Green and John Green stay focused. They didn't wanna talk about this - by the way, uh - (sings) he's big, he's tough, he has a ginger puff, Other John Green, Other John Green! (talks) It just goes to show you that he wanted to, you know, like when he's on the pitch, it gives him something to focus on that isn't this uh, you know, long bureaucratic challenge of uniting with his child. So that was great! That was awesome. That was beautiful. Um. Yay! Yay! Yay, yay.

(4:41) Um, so yeah! I'm a pretty introverted person, and um, you know, it's always- I like to be alone, I like to be- I like to work alone. That's where I get energy, and I do enjoy um, social interaction, but uh, you know, it's draining to me. Um, and I think that can be difficult when you're dating, because uh, it's difficult to meet people, like, it requires- I think even if you're not introverted, it requires a pretty extreme output of energy just to meet someone. I mean, maybe if you're very extroverted then you just like, go to bars or whatever, and you just like, start talking to people. Most people though, find talking to a stranger difficult. Particularly a stranger they might be attracted to, you know, sexually or otherwise.

(5:31) Um. Come on, come on, John Green! Come on, John Green! Ooh, Jooohn Greeeeen! (sings) He's big, he's tough, he has a ginger puff, Other John Green, Other John Green! What a game he's having. You can tell that he just, he needed football today. Some days you need it, you know? Some days you just need it like er, I don't know. It was Hells Pells who missed that shot.

(5:56) I don't know if I've mentioned this to you Meredith, but I was actually- was recently hospitalized for viral meningitis and um, you know, one of the things- it's difficult to come back to work when my head still works, um, you just don't feel very good. But one of the things that got me really excited was- was thinking about playing the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys because I love this team. I love the supporters, I love making these videos. But er- um, but I also knew, you know, like, it's hard to play a game when you're not feeling well. That said, some days, even when you're not feeling well, you need the gift. You need the gift of the game, and that's er- that's what this has been for me. And that's certainly what it seems to have been for Other John Green today. He's just having himself the performance of a lifetime against- who are we playing? Burnley? Oh, Bolton! Of course we're playing Bolton Wanderers.

(6:50) Right, so anyway- uh, it's diff- it requires a bit output of energy to meet people and then- that in and of itself is exhausting, and then of course like, 99% of the people that you meet are like, not the right person for- for dating. Because... of whatever. There's a bajillion possible things that can not line up in the right way. And that can become sort of progressively more and more frustrating.

(7:14) Uh, my usual way- I was like, always desperate to be in romantic relationships, because um- I think like, looking back, because a lot of the roles that friends should have been play- friends should have been playing in my life, I, um, put all of that weight on the people I dated. Which was way too difficult for them, it was asking way too much of them. And um, yeah, and just generally was a big part of the reason that I- you know, that a lot of those relationships didn't work, or that I wasn't a very good partner in those relationships.

(7:46) Um. I- I think that it's a lot- it's kind of easier now, um, in the world of the internet, but it's also kind of harder, because yes, you can e-meet people, but then you have to meet them in real life. And then sometimes it's great and sometimes it isn't. And it ends up still being a lot of energy, and even the process of like, meeting people online is still- it's still work, at least for me. Um, or it always was, when I was dating. Like, it always felt like (sighs) those emails were much harder to write than like, you know, emails to your family or whatever. Like, you know, and then you had to go actually meet people and sometimes I would be - you know, either too shy or too overeager or whatever. I just wouldn't feel like I was able to be myself.

(8:41) Very difficult- um, very difficult to feel like I was being the person that I imagined myself as, or the person who would be a, you know, the good dating partner I wanted to be. Um, and, you know, in the end, I got very lucky that Sarah and I met again, sort of randomly. Um, but even then, you know, like I started out with a bunch of terrible dating decisions with Sarah, and terrible strategies. Um, and it was only after you know, we'd been together for a few months, that I sort of settled in and became a better boyfriend to her. It required tremendous patience on Sarah's part (laughs) and on the part of really everyone I dated (laughs).

(9:30) Um- oooooh! God, that was beautiful. The Gaulden Child. He's still- I feel that he's still developing, you know? Like, to go through the legs like that, that's a great thing, but then you've obviously gotta get the shot on target. He's getting there, though! I mean, I believe that one day- he'll still be like four feet ten inches tall- but I think that one day he'll be amazing. I really do. There's Jay Spearing, former Liverpool player. Um, it's an astonishing likeness. Uhhh. Oh, Jay Spearing, just as soon as I say that, he's substituted out. You don't get to play any more!

(10:00) Um. So I- my hope is that um, that you can find a way to give yourself enough time to be by yourself, so that you have the energy, to for lack of a better term, be yourself when you are with other people. And if you're putting constant pressure on yourself, oh I've got a date, oh I've gotta meet people, oh I've gotta do this and this and this, like. That's not gonna allow you to have the energy and- the energy and like, goodwill, all the stuff that you need emotionally in order to be the person that you are. In order to be a friend and romantic partner that you could be. So that's the key for me, is like, taking that time to myself and not seeing it as a, um- as a failure or anything.

(10:55) It's also okay not to date! Like, it's not a disaster. We live in this world that's so, so hyper-oriented around romantic and especially sexual relationships. And like, that's just- that's- it's not- it's okay! Like, it's okay if you don't want to, it's okay if you're too tired to, it's okay if you, you know, don't have the energy to meet people. Like, fine. Not a big deal. Like, it'll happen, or it won't.

(11:20) And it's not that- it's just not that important. Like, having the- having the fulfillment outside- I mean, I don't think the fulfillment- I don't think the fulfillment has to come in a romantic relationship. You know? You do definitely need social- even if you're very introverted, you still need fulfilling, rewarding, mutually-beneficial social relationships, but I don't think that you need them to be romantic or sexual. And certainly you don't need them to be that all the time. Uh. Well. I can only speak for myself. But in my experience, there have been times in my life, looking back at the years of my life that I was single an adult, the happiest times were actually times when I wasn't dating.

(12:02) Um. Oh, God! Phewwwww-wwww! That came very, very close to being an own goal, which is my favorite kind of goal, but not when I score them! So yeah, that's- that's what I think. Like, I think sometimes people put so much pressure on ourselves. Oh! Oh! (sings) Bald John Green, John Green, he gives it all for the team. Upon his moustache we're keen, Bald John Green, John Green! (talks) It's a wonderful performance from two men who love each other and very very much wish that they were not on the pitch today.

(12:46) Um, but I think it speaks to their professionalism, oh, speaking of professionalism, that guy just walked past my entire defense. Um, I think it speaks to their professionalism and also their shared love for each other and for this football club, that um, in a game that they really shouldn't be playing because they should be picking up their kid, that they're here, um. And that they're playing so well, and um. Yeah! And making sure that AFC Wimbledon have every opportunity uh, to live the dream of one day becoming the premiere league club that we once were, and shall be again.

(13:21) Three nil thanks to goals from John Green, John Green and John Green. Thank you for watching! Best wishes.