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Duration:13:44
Uploaded:2013-02-28
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In which Hank, well... I think the title says it all...
H: Hello, and welcome to Hank Green plays Assassin's Creed III. Last time I walked around a lot and I swam some, I think I may have saved some guy from that log.

Achilles: I've something to show you.

H: And I've just learned that I am going to build a ship, the Aquila, the fastest ship ever or something.

A: It lets us manage the homestead's dealings.

H: Huh, well. We're just world building like crazy right now.

A: Ah, that was years ago. Before the slow fever.

H: What's a slow fever?

A: Before the Templars. Before everything collapsed.

H: I don't, I don't know enough American history, man.

A: But that's all in the past. Better we focus on what's in front of us. Take up the ledger and I'll teach you how it all works.

H: Okay. Teach me how the ledger works. Stockpile: The stockpile allows you to purchase items from Homesteaders and displays the items you currently own. Oak lumber. Purchase. Lots. Confirm. I have insufficient funds. Okay. L to select the trading menu! L? L. Yes L. Crafting? Oh! Well, why can't I go back? Push A to enter the trading menu. Land Convoy! Push A, okay good. I got nothing. Oh! You can make profit on trading, you can trade for profit you guys! Man that is nerdy right there. Oh, I can... My profit would be £21.00. That's not that good. Uh, I'm, I'm just... But I don't want to do this. No. X. Clear, clear, clear, clear, clear, clear. Back? Back. Back? Fine, confirm! It wouldn't, it made me do it. Trading begins! Apparently I had to do that to finish the mission. I-I didn't think that it was a worthwhile trade for £21.00, but whatever. I needed that timber but I guess I'll make more. Or I'll buy more. Or I'll make more money, I don't know. Generally.

Oh my goodness! Apparently, extremely quickly!

Connor: What little free time Achilles allowed me was spent learning about the Templars. About Charles Lee and my father.

H: Woo!

C: I longed to confront them.

H: I don't know why I keep calling him Ed.

C: To ensure that my people would remain untroubled and free. But I knew it was too soon. That to approach them now would see me killed. All my work would be for nothing. Patience. Restraint. These proved the most difficult subjects for me. But in time I mastered them as well. Days became months. Months became years.

H: Can't stop being a camera man ever.

C: And as my skills and knowledge grew, so too did I.

H: Yeah, you got taller! Did you? Oh, I'm just standing here. I... Maybe I could've been walking around all that time, like, looking at this ship. Pretty cool, pretty cool ship. I could totally jump off of this cliff right now. But I'm not gonna, cause that's crazy talk. It's quite a cliff. Oh! Apparently I do have to go that way though. So maybe I should just do it! Yahoo! Oh Jesus! There was a rock down there you guys! I was like, why am I not diving? Do the dive-y. Well, let's all learn a lesson from that. Apparently if you die it's a lot faster. That's the lesson I just learned. Fantastic! Wow. Well, I'm glad I died then. Where... what are we doing? We're going to the exclamation point there? "The Hard Way". The Aquila must be equipped with cannon at Martha's Vineyard. Officers must also be hired to command the new guns. Do you want to start this naval mission? Why yes. Yes I do. Lemon! What are you doing? OK.

Robert: Come aboard and feast your eyes, boy! No, no, no, no. Not the left foot! Never the left foot. Horrible luck. Step with your right foot first.

H: Kay. It's a, that's pretty. It's a pretty ship. You did a good job. I don't know how we've made all this money, but.

C: She is... solid.

R: Aye. Weatherly and sleek. She'll fetch 12 knots in a stiff gale, ne'er a ship from here to Singapore can outrun her on her best day.

H: Okay!

R: What do you say we take her out and show you...

H: Here to Singapore is a pretty long way.

C: Where would we go?

R: As it happens she still needs guns and the officers to command them. We'll launch straight away. Don't worry, lad, I'll make sure you sprout good sea legs. Haul in the mainsail!

H: I'm going to be vomiting in fifteen minutes.

R: Hand over fist! Come on, men! Let's get her out where she needs to be!

H: What men? Are there men? Do we have men? One moon circles. Go, go! I don't know why I always feel like running when I'm in this. We can just stand slowly and have the camera do that nice sort of steady cam shot there. That was good. And yes. Yes. One moon circles. Good. 1773, you guys. It's just... We're trucking right along until the, the the the the the the, the revolution. Look at all my men! How are we affording this? Is it a profit share? This is my boat. I have a boat you guys! Ah! I jumped off the edge. Warning: return tho the Aquila.

Man: Double time, boy! It's time you learnt!

H: Sorry, sorry you guys. My bad. Jumped off the boat. Where are, where are you? Here you are. Okay. I'm gonna take the helm! What do I do? It's a rudder. I just, controlling the rudder.

R: You're connected to her now. Listen and f...

C: Half sail!

H: Oh.

R: Ha ha! The Aquila flies again! Do ya feel it, lad!? Set a course...

H: Woah! That is surprisingly responsive.

R: We'll find our guns and officers there. She's a nimble vessel but the faster she goes the more cumbersome she grows...

H: Okay.

R: ...and the firmer your hands need to be. Enjoy this stretch of ocean water 'fore we come upon those shallows.

H: I don't like that.

R: Call for full sail if you like.

H: How do I do that?

R: We need every knot! Full sail!

H: Woah, look at all the ropes and stuff!

R: Wind looks to be shifting. Stay alert, Connor. Gusty winds can be difficult to manage. 

H: Woah, goodness.

R: Reduce speed. Haul into half sail!

H: Not a fan, to be... Oh, is the green the wind then? Oh yeah, this is cool. You guys I'm totally driving a boat! Guys.

R: Full stop. No sail! Take her to half sail! Now take us through these shallows. Careful not to run up on 'em. The sandbars will slow us down but the rocks will put a hole through her hull.

H: Well, then I'll avoid that.

R: ...call for half sail. She's more maneuverable then.

H: I think I already did that, didn't I? I'm at half sail now? Do not take any damage. Do you know how unlikely that seems to me? Extremely unlikely. It is nice to have this boat to follow though, 'cause at least then I know where the channel is. What was that? Oh, I thought it was, like, a cannon ball, it was just some, some sea spray.

R: Mind those other vessels. 

H: I'm minding the other vessels. What? Who gets right of way? The big ship? Me? I wanna go this way. Why is that a dumb idea? Yeah but that, that way looked harder. I don't know anything about riding, driving boats. I don't know nothing about driving no boats. This is awesome though.

Man: Rogue wind!

H: Rouge wind!

R: Haul everything in. No sail now, double time!

H: This is way better, than a rouge wind. Alright.

R: Half sail.

H: Rouge wind! You guys are fast workers. No rouge winds, no rouge winds.

R: We need more speed. Loosen to full sail!

H: Wait, dock at the pier? That sounds terribly difficult.

R: We're close.

H: Woah, look at it turn on a dime. How do I dock a boat?! (Laughs) Do I just go for the green dot?

R: No sail! Full stop, no sail.

H: Did I do it? I did it! I totally did it y'all! That was awesome. High five game developers. Driving a freaking ship! It was awesome. Alright, cut scene.

R: Oh, hello, Miss Mandy.

H: Ah, it's Mandy!

R: You're looking every bit as ravishing as I remember.

H: Oh yeah.

Mandy: After all these years you sail all the way to the Vineyard to pay me compliments?

H: Not exactly.

R: We are looking for David and Richard Clutterbuck.

H: Clutterbuck?

R: Nice to you too.

H: They're singing that same old sea shanty.

David: Where the hell have you been?

H: Robert Faulkner.

R: Sorry for leaving like I did, lads, but where I was going, no one could know. You two working much?

Richard: Nah. Between contracts at the minute.

H: Well why don't you come and help me out with a thing?

R: What would you two say to working with me again?

H: Sounds terrible.

Ri: We'd be for getting into a few more scraps.

R: Good show.

H: Oh you guys, you like adventure. I don't understand this.

D: Looks like your friend's about to catch a beating.

H: It happens.

C: Where is Charles Lee?

H: What?

Benjamin: I don't much care for your tone, boy.

R: Hey. You don't want to be doing that, Biddle.

H: Biddle?

Nicholas: Bobby Faulkner...

H: Did you just call me Biddle?

N: It's good you finally realized you're a **** sailor.

M: Woah, woah, woah! Not in here gentlemen. Better still...

H: I have property.

M: Bobby, take your friends and get out.

R: Let's go, boys. Our guns ought to be ready. Come on.

H: Ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo. Are we gonna cut scene again? Or we gonna end the episode? We're gonna cut scene again. Okay. (Singing) "All on the bow let the bow in hull." Alright. Look at all these people working for me! I don't understand. Alrighty pants. I am a successful sailor. Excellent. You will not see me and I will not see you, but you will hear me next time on Hank Green plays Assassin's Creed III. Good bye.