Previous: A Change in Strategy: AFC Wimbly Womblys #89
Next: Pikmin 3 - #39 - Not Ideal



View count:20,916
Last sync:2018-12-03 05:40

In which John watches the World Cup while talking to you about important matters related to football, life, and football.

John: Hello, hi! I am John Green the co-owner of this channel, Hankgames, and I am here today to watch the World Cup with you. Actually, we can't watch the World Cup together but we can watch the World Cup at the same time but I can't watch you watch the World Cup because I have to watch... Anyway, anyway you can watch me watch the World Cup, that's what it comes down to.

So for those of you who don't know, there is a fundraiser going on. We're raising money to fight sarcoma, the kind of cancer that Augustus Waters has in Fault In Our Stars, also a kind of cancer that many real people have in real life, a disease that I very much dislike and would like to, you know, get rid of. So you can go to the link in the dooblydoo, right there below me, right below where my face is, and you can go to and there you can choose the team of... It doesn't matter what team you choose. If, let's say that you don't actually care about soccer, you can choose, I don't know, Algeria, they only have $200 raised and they're well behind Russia and Belgium and South Korea in Group H. Or you can choose Ghana or Bosnia or Honduras, any country that you want. You can band together with your friends to support surprise countries that I don't expect you to support and I will support whoever has the most votes.

So today Brazil is playing Croatia in the opening game of the World Cup. I have here my Brazil jersey. Like I am so excited to put this on if Brazil stays in the lead over Croatia. But I'm also excited if Croatia takes the lead. I am excited to support Croatia and at the moment of kick-off I will notice which team, I will note which team has more dollars donated. By the way, every time you donate a dollar, I donate three to the Sarcoma Foundation of America so bear that in mind. And I want to say thank you to everyone who's donated. We've raised more than $42,000. (2:00) That, by any measure, that is a ton of money. But with sarcoma research in particular it's a ton of money. It would only cost $50,000 to fund a small preliminary trial at least according to a friend of mine who is a sarcoma survivor and that's, you know, so like $42,000 is a huge amount of money.

Yeah. But right now Brazil is ahead, $1,642 donated. I want to thank everybody who's raised more than $42,000 for the Sarcoma Foundation of America. Um, but yes. Brazil is ahead so I will get to put on this beautiful Brazil jersey, I have worn it once before when I was filming my video about this subject. And I will tell you, having worn now almost all of the jerseys for all of the teams, if the World Cup trophy is going to go to the team with the most comfortable outfit it will go to Brazil. Vai Brasil!

Alright. So, um, yeah. We are starting, the game starts in 19 minutes. So exciting, I can barely contain myself. All of these weeks that we've been waiting since May 11th, the end of the Premier League season, for something, something to occupy our time and our thoughts. I know that we have, what's it called? Right, The Fault In Our Stars movie came out, but something important to occupy our thoughts, something like football, the most important of the least important things as a great man once said. Um, yeah. I'm so excited that football's back.

I'm looking now at the starting lineups. We've got Neymar, Fred, and Hulk. Hulk is a great player, underrated because he's often played in, like, Ukraine and Russia and stuff but he's great. He's just a big, he's a big hulking man. And then Croatia, not the favorite today, but they do have Luka Modrić who used to have fantastic hair and now he just looks like a regular person. And then, yeah, they've got Jelavić up front. He's a pretty good player as well. I wouldn't rule out Croatia. I would be a little nervous if I'm a Brazil supporter today, and it looks like I will be. (4:00) I'm just a smidge nervous about this game today. So, yeah. That's the update. Um, yeah. Hold on, let me make sure that Rosianna knows that I am live now. OK. And I should probably also, um, I'm gonna also post to Tumblr. I'm going to post "World Cup fans of Tumblr, if you exist. I am live now in your internet."

So I just want to briefly touch on a, touch on something, touch on a couple things. I can't really see the comments at the moment which would be very helpful but I can't see them, I am sorry about that. Oh there they are! Hey! Ooh wow, lots of you. I guess I'll answer some question until the game starts. But um, uh... Nonononono. My $3 for every one dollar is calculated in this so yeah. Just, people are thinking I might have to donate, like, $140,000. I don't yet but I hope that you make me do that, that would be awesome. It will be a little terrifying but it would be good. I am ready. Um, OK.

Who rolled his ankle in practise? Neymar looked hurt. That is worrisome. For a 22 year old there's a lot of pressure on him. I hope that he is well, I hope that he is well. I can't, um, yeah. So I want to support Brazil. People are asking me to support Brazil and I'm telling you that you can find in the link in the dooblydoo a list of the teams that I'm going to support in order. Right now I am supporting: In Group A I am supporting Mexico which has donated $1,781 (6:00) to Sarcoma Research, and then Brazil, $1,642 dollars, then Cameroon, $1,000, and last Croatia.

So today Brazil is playing Croatia, ergo as of right now I am a fan of Brazil but that could all change in the next 16 minutes if someone comes along and donates a lot of money to Croatia. So I am not going to count my chickens before they hatch. I have the Brazil shirt around my neck, I am ready to put it on but I am going to wait. Um, yeah. Don't worry, America... People are concerned that I'm not going to be able to root for the United States but I am going to be able to root for the United States, don't worry about that because they are in the lead by a lot. Um, yes.

So, alright. What else is, what else is, what else is going on? Oh, I wanted to briefly... if you're a fan of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys, and I know some of you are, the fictional soccer team that we use to support the actual AFC Wimbledon, there's been a big upset in the community in the last 24 hours because of my choice, my very controversial choice to score on myself repeatedly in an intentional gambit to lose a game so that I could go o the playoffs instead of getting automatic promotion. Lot's of supporters very upset. It's divided the community. I just want to day I'm listening to all of you, I'm probably wrong, I'm often wrong, I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I promoted match fixing. I don't think that I did but I understand that you're very upset. I've heard that the club AFC Wimbledon, the actual club, is going to release some kind of official statement which I appreciate. Um, and everything will be fine, everything will work out in the end. But we may have to re-evaluate our values as a club.

Lots of people worried about Neymar being hurt. I am also, I am also worried. How well do I think Suárez will do? Well I have Uruguay in my fantasy league pool so I hope he does fantastic! But yes, time will tell. There's lots of people, lots of scrolling going on right now. (8:00) Um. Uh. Milo Wendt, one of the very first Nerdfighters, said "Chat is approaching reading limit speed for me." Me too, me too buddy. Yeah. OK. So we're gonna, we're gonna, um... Lot's of people... don't say the same thing over and over again because then, then it becomes impossible to read the chat.

Someone asked how my vacation is going. It is good, it is in its last technical day but I'm hoping I can extend it through much of Friday just so I can support the games by watching all of them. In fact ideally I'd like to watch all of every game of the World Cup. But yes, several people are asking if the $42,000 we've raised so far includes my donations. It does.

My thoughts on Xabi Alonso? Look, I'm a Liverpool supporter so I'm always gonna love Xabi. Yeah, he's great. He'll always be great to me, he'll always be special, he'll always be a big part of the 2005 run and, like, yeah, so much of the history of the club. So I hope that Xabi Alonso does well. Personally, will I be rooting for Xabi Alonso? Well, that all depends, my friends, on the support that Spain gets at Right now Spain, I gotta say, not faring particularly well in Group B. It's behind both the Netherlands and Australia, ahead of only Chile. That's difficult for me because in my heart I would love to root for Chile, one of my favorite countries. And, but yes. Right now as it stands I will not be supporting Spain except when they are playing Chile, at least in the opening round. But that could all change, you know. We never know where the money is going to get donated. Right now, Brazil is in second in Group A, Croatia is in third, but we'll see how it all shakes out.

What do I think about Mexico? Well I'll go over to ( and tell you what I think about Mexico. I think Mexico's great because I think they're gonna win Group A. I love them. Well I don't know if you guys know this but my assistant and dear, dear friend, also one of the fist Nerdfighters, Rosianna Halse Rojas, is Mexican. She lives in the United Kingdom but she's also, also has a Mexican passport and if I don't say nice things about Mexico she will, like, kill me so I think they're great. I hope they have a good tournament. You're welcome Mexico for getting you qualified for the World Cup. For those of you who don't know, the United States is basically entirely responsible for the fact that Mexico is even in Brazil right now. Um, yeah. Oh, I just saw an ad that featured Luis Suárez, I love, I love, I love you. I love you.

If you're in the United States you can watch along with me at ESPN. This is such a great commercial. But it's probably on TV wherever you are because it's the most important televised event in the world every four years. It is the thing, for better or worse, that brings us together. That's what I love about football. It's a place where we can be a world. There are very few of those places left. We have a very small world in some ways but the smallness of it has also, I think, kind of, like, divided it up into tinier and tinier sections. But this is a place where we can still be a world.

And I am really, really, really excited that the World Cup is going to start in eleven minutes. Oh gosh! This is exciting stuff. Um. Uh. OK. I'm gonna turn on the sound a little bit. Wait. It's not letting me turn on the sound. There it is. Just so hopefully, I don't want you to be able hear it because I think that would be illegal, but I want me to be able to hear it because I need to be able to hear it because it's just (12:00) a little bit better with Ian Darke telling me how I'm feeling. And all of his voice, the rising incantations of his voice with Macca, an old Liverpool player, calling the World Cup today. It's magic.

What time is it where I am? It's 3:50 pm. What time is it in Brazil right now? Oh, these commercials are all so great. I can't wait to watch these commercials for an entire month! I'm going to buy every one of your products. What is this commercial for? A Kia? Oh, I already like Kia because they're sponsoring the Kia mainstage at VidCon. Oh, this is exciting. I'm so excited. Luxembourg is not in the tournament, guys. Luxembourg is not in the tournament. Um. Um, yeah. Yeah.

Lots of people say they hate the World Cup. But here's my feeling. Like, I'm very sympathetic to a lot of the protests that are happening in Brazil right now because there's no doubt that the, uh... Look. I think the World Cup and the Olympics are ultimately pretty bad for a country's economy and also, you know, Brazil is a country in this, that's going through this massive transition of becoming, you know, progressively more and more industrialized and developed and having, you know, less and less, like, technical poverty. But, like, one of the things that we learn in Behind the Beautiful Forevers which is about a very different economy, very different country, but also a large emerging democracy is that, um, you know, that there is still lots and lots of problems. There's lots and lots of problems with corruption, obviously lots of problems with public services and you can't have that stuff be ignored just because the World Cup is going on. You want to be able to celebrate the progress, the significant, I think, significant, significant progress that Brazil has made in the last 30 or 40 years but at the same time you (14:00) don't want this to be kind of a coronation. You want to be honest about the fact that there is a lot of work to do and, um, so yeah. I have a lot of support for the protesters and, I mean, I still, now that the World Cup is happening here, there's no way that it's not going to happen, there's no way that it's going to move, I want, you know, I want to have the best World Cup possible, I want to have a a World Cup that, you know, where lots of people spend lots of money in Brazil. Um, yeah.

So alright. Eight minutes to kick-off. It looks very strongly right now like I am indeed going to be supporting Brazil. I'm gonna go ahead... Maybe we'll make a rule that five minutes before kick-off I make my des... is the last moment for donating so that would be only three more minutes. Um. (Typing) Alright. Um. Alright, my friend Craig just said that Croatia's gonna win two-one over Brazil. He's English so he knows. Um, you know. He's an expert in the field.

Oh gosh, this is so exciting. Look at David Luiz, the intensity on his face. He looks so much like Sideshow Bob but he also, he's like Sideshow Bob but with passion. There's little Oscar, tiny little nine year old Oscar. Oh, he's a great player and it's amazing that at the age of just nine he's already, already experiencing his first World Cup. It's a beautiful thing. Here they all come.

Alright, I'm putting it on. Wait, let me refresh to make absolutely sure. You can donate to Sarcoma Research at It's finalized. I am for Brazil today. OK, I, we're going off-screen for the actual putting on of the shirt. That's not something y'all need to see. Yerman. Wow. Oh, and they come out (16:00) arm in arm. Neymar, ooh boy. Neymar walking with a visible limp you have to say for someone who has not yet begun to play. That's a little worrisome. Here we go. Alright. I am, I... There is no person on Earth more passionate about the Brazilian National Soccer Team than me. I am all in for Brazil for the next two hours and until they play Mexico unless something else changes. Let's go Brazil!

Alright, we're gonna listen to the... What's happening? We're gonna listen to the national anthems? Hold on. Should I stand? I don't know, I've never been Brazilian before, this is my first time being Brazilian. OK. We're going to listen respectfully while the Croatian national anthem plays. Hold on.

Oh, I realize that this is on a massive lag so you guys are probably, by the time you're hearing me listen to the Croatian national anthem you are probably watching something else. So you may need, if you're watching along with me you may need to pause your DVRs for, like, 40 seconds. Anyway, yeah. Go watch the game if you want to go watch the game. OK, here we go. Here we go. This is so much fun, I've been waiting for so long. I've been waiting for so long. Alright.

Now I don't like to criticize other countries's national anthems, particularly not a country like Croatia that's very new, but you would think that they could have maybe done a little bit better, I'm just saying as a national anthem. Certainly not as bad as the United States's national anthem but, you know. Alright, here we go. OK, I am now listening to the Brazilian national anthem. Neymar obviously very concerned about his ankle. (18:00) I am also concerned about his ankle. I am again struck by how incredibly comfortable this jersey is!

I'm sorry, I didn't learn the words to this song, that's terrible, terrible fanning. I apologize. It's a great song though. This is a national anthem. I feel like my only complaint about this jersey is that it does show quite a bit of my, uh, my nether regions. Nether regions, of course, being everything below the Adam's apple. OK. This is it.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Without the music the people sang the second national anthem, the Brazilian players in tears.

Henry: Daddy.

J: Yes. Hold on, Henry needs me.

H: Do you know which Dino Dan is on?

J: Do I know which Dino Dan is on?

H: Yeah.

J: Um. I don't. The only way I know to watch it is on this TV up here but can you watch, (20:00) don't you want to watch Backyardigans again?

H: No!

J: OK. Do you want to just watch Dino Dan up here?

H: Yeah.

J: Alright, sorry. We're solving important family crises. OK. OK. (Henry says something) Alright. How about Masked Confusion?

Sarah: John, is it on the TV down here?

J: No, it's only on this one. That's fine though. I can totally switch, it's easy.(Sarah says something) Do dododo dododo dododo. No, I have to get a drink anyway. Alright Henry, it's all on. Hold on, hold on. I'm going downstairs. Thank you. And we're off, we're off, we're off, we're off, we're off. Oh. It's actually much cooler down here. This is better in every way. OK. OK. OK. We didn't even miss kick-off. Hold on. I'll be right back.

OK, I don't really know any Brazilian national chants or anything but I know how to say "Go Brazil" in Portuguese. You just say "Vai Brasil!" So you're just gonna hear me say that a lot. Vai Brasil! Vai Brasil! Come on!

Alright, looks like we have a Japanese officiating crew. OK, I'm excited. This is very exciting. There he is. OK, this is really gonna happen. Oh, look at the tifo! I think they didn't do a good job, they're trying to get that banner... Oh, they're taking the banner down, I must have missed the banner. Looks like it was very exciting though. OK, I'm so excited. Huh. OK. This is big. This is big. OK. (22:00) (Claps) I don't know any Brazil songs. I'm totally unprepared! I should have known going in to this that it was almost definitely going to be Brazil, right? OK. Now, and then I didn't even have the camera angle right so you're getting, you're just... I look balder than I actually am.

Are you OK Neymar? Wow, what is happening here? There's some kind of circle of trust. Oh, there's gonna be three white doves. I always worry about what's gonna happen to these doves. What's their future look like? You know? I hope they do OK. I feel like, hopefully they just fly back to their owners and they have a nice career as sort of ceremonial doves, that's kind of like what they do for a living. I'll tell you what, all three of those kids are awesome. They're doing a great job. Great job by those three kids! And then the doves, they seem to... I don't know. I, what's... Yeah. It seems like we're ending this in the middle of the story. How can we watch a soccer game when we have no idea what's going to happen to those doves? Can I please see the future of those doves? Alright. It doesn't appear that I'm going to get an update on the doves.

Also I can't turn it down. I can't turn the television down. I'm not very good at working the actual television, not one of my expertises. Ooh, David Luiz has a very, very complicated hand shake with Marcelo. There's Hulk! Oh, he's a big strong chunk of man! Paulinho, this is great, this is great. I love Brazil! I'm so excited that I get to root for Brazil.

And we're off! Alright, Croatia's on the ball right now. Everything's going to be fine. (24:00) Did you just kick it directly out of bounds three seconds into the game? I love this game already. Alright. I'm not going to live... I'm not going to do a live show for the whole thing because I worry that I won't be entertaining at all because I just want to watch the game but I did want to at least start with a live show here because I figure you guys probably want to watch the game, you know, ultimately. But thanks to everybody who's donated. I am going to watch, like... Let's watch, let's see if we watch the first half together. Look at David Luiz, just big and strong, Sideshow Bob style, going in hard. Oh, this has been alarming. That's a bit alarming. Everything worked out better than expected. That's one of the standard Wimbly Wombly ways of dealing with a threat is to just let the attacker pull his shot wide.

There's Scolari, he's my coach for today. I'm all in with Scolari. There they are. Brazil, not famous for their back four it must be said. David Luiz, not even always good enough to start for Chelsea but good enough to start for Brazil. We'll just have to wait and see how things go. But, um... That's a nice move. That was very sweet. Oh, that was just real Brazilian soccer. Oh boy.

So I think the whole, like, my concern I guess from a Brazil fan's perspective, which I am, I'm a huge Brazil fan and have been ever since about eight minutes ago, my concern is that, well A) Is Neymar hurt? B) How, how much are you gonna, like, rely on that sort of wide play, cross it into the box 'cause I actually think that's going to be difficult with Croatia 'cause they've got, they've got some strong defenders. I don't know. I think that they're gonna be a little hard to break down Croatia. So from a Brazil fan perspective, which I am, stay calm, stay calm my Brazilian friends. Just let this play out. (26:00) I know that this is exciting. This is a World Cup in your home country. I'm rooting for you, I know that means a lot to you, I know there's probably Brazilian players who donated to the Sarcoma Foundation to make sure that I would be rooting for them today. I am also excited but, you know, there's no rea.. This is, I like this style of play actually, calm, possession oriented, let's be slow in breaking them down. And Croatia's playing smart too, like they're playing basically the counter-attack and in fact their counter-attacking right now which is, that's smart. That's good, that's exactly what they should be doing.

Oh boy. Oh boy. I don't know who that guy is but he's sort of like the poor man's Franck Ribéry and that's saying something. That's not something you want to be in life. Um. Oh, lot's of people are complaining that I don't have the actual match on but that would be illegal so I don't want to do that. I don't want to break the law! The people at FIFA are so good at honoring the law and never, like, for instance, accepting bribes.

Oh that didn't go out of bounds! I disagree! OK. Oh, this is exciting. What's your opinion on the controversy of Brazil not having enough money to feed everyone? Well I don't think, I mean... I think, like I said earlier, that is a concern and the idea of spending billions of dollars on a World Cup when you... Not just in terms of food aid but also in terms of infrastructure spending. You know, are stadiums the best infrastructure spending for Brazil right now? No. No. But, you know, it's going to... Like the World Cup is going to happen now. The time to have that debate to me was six years ago. So given that it's going to happen I would like it to be as successful as possible, to make as much money as possible, (28:00) for as many people to spend money in Brazil as possible.

Promising free-kick right now because somebody took down Hulk which is not easy to do and Hulk is saying that he's injured which seems impossible because he is the Hulk. He should be fine. The only way I can see him getting injured from that fall is if he broke his own collarbone from the weight of his awesomeness. Alright, promising free-kick. Apparently I'm ahead of the CBC stream in Canada as far behind as I am. Alright. OK, here we go. Here we go.

This is huge. I love this opportunity from Neymar. I like Neymar to whip it in and just see what happens. Maybe if it goes, maybe it goes off a defender, maybe it, maybe it goes directly into the goal because the goalkeeper's expecting someone to get a head on it and no-one does so it kind of sneaks into the back corner. That's my kind of goal. OK. Oh, it's not a great ball. It was nervous, it reeked on nervousness. David Luiz! No. No. Sideshow Bob, oh he's a villain on The Simpsons and he's not, he's just not a finisher for the Brazilian national team so far. Um, yeah. Um.

No, Hulk is fine. People in comments are concerned about Hulk, it's ridiculous. You can't injure Hulk. Haven't you seen The Avengers? You could shoot missiles at him and he'll be fine. Alright. OK. Five minutes in, has it only been five minutes? It's been an eternity. I'm so happy that soccer is back in my life! I have missed the football, I have missed it so dearly, the footy. Alright, here we go. That's a nice, that's nice. Isn't the footy actually Australian rules football? I don't know, I can't keep track of what various people call... I think in Australia (30:00) they call it soccer actually, right? 'Cause they have the Socceroos. Anyway, we'll know soon because I think I'm gonna be supporting Australia in many of their opening round matches which I'm excited about. OK.

So still not much happening in this game but to be fair it's only been six minutes. Couple, couple nice bits of counter-attacking from the Croatian national team. Brazil looked threatening once but David Luiz is not a finisher. Oh! Oh gosh! My life flashed before my eyes as the poor man's Franck Ribéry, Mr. Olić almost scored a goal with his head. There's 200 Croatians there. Look at that. That's a nice, I mean, he was... That's a free header, you should do better there. Tell you what, Bald John Green puts that in the net ten times out of ten.

Um, yeah. Lot's of British people saying that I should call it football instead of soccer, or Europeans. But let me just remind you British people, you named the game soccer. You invented and coined the word soccer as an abbreviation for Association Football using your little British accents it make "Asocc" and then "Socca" in that little British way and you, it is your fault that we call it soccer so stop yelling at me for a word that you invented. OK.

(Laughs) Is Bald John Green playing? No. No, sadly he's not eligible on account of his fictionality. But also I don't think that Bald John Green could even make the American national team this year. We're apparently too good. 23 players better than Landon Donovan so I don't know that Bald John Green with his 74 overall skill level would even make it. Other John Green, an overall 77 probably would. Other John Green's got a lot of pace down the wings.

I know that I'm a little bit behind, there's some lag. I'm watching it live but you're hearing me behind. There's Neymar, there's Neymar, there's Neymar! Oh God, he's so beautiful. I mean, the way he plays is so beautiful. Oh yeah. That's, oh! (32:00) That's a, that's a, that's a terrible foul. I thought that was Luka Modr... And just a quick restart there. And it's Neymar. Look at Neymar on the ball! Such a creator! Oh! Alright, nice... A corner for Brazil. A promising moment.

I'm about two minutes behind. What happened? What happened? It's not soccer it's... It's soccer not football and also we won the war. Not sure which war you're referring to. We've lost, if you're referring to the United States we've lost a bunch of them so I don't know that we should brag on that necessarily. Oh, we won the Revolutionary War. We did win that kind of unambiguously. To be fair though, I'm not sure Britain really wanted it that badly.

Are we gonna have a talk? We're gonna have a discussion about the importance of not holding on corner kicks. You don't hold the jerseys, you don't pull people down by their heads. Look at this hold on David Luiz, look at that. That wasn't even that bad actually. In the Premier League, in the Premier League that would be standard, that would be a standard level of holding. There's Fred. Maybe Fred's gonna score, wouldn't that be great? It'd be great, great for Lucas Cruikshank, that's a great guy. He's be so happy. Fred! Fred! Fred! Fred! No. Can't even get past the first defender, that's disappointing.

OK. Oh boy. I'm ahead of the ESPN stream but behind another, but behind the actual game. I'm about 40 seconds behind. Um, yeah. What... nerdymaid paused it for 30 seconds to sync up with me so that's one thing you could do, just pause it. But then you won't know what's happening in actual real time. Oh, look at Oscar! Oh, despite being nine years old he just tried very hard to recover from a tackle but he's so little! He's just a tiny boy! I just noticed that almost all the Brazilian national team (34:00) plays for Chelsea but to be fair I think they've gone ahead with all of their dirty loan money and bought most of the players available in the whole world.

Oh! Oh! Oh! No! Oh! Devastating! Devastating! It's my least favorite kind of goal, an own goal! Poor Marcelo. Oh. If it weren't for David Luiz, he would be the Sideshow Bob of the Brazilian national team and now he is truly a villain in his homeland. Oh no. Oh, anything but that. Anything but an own goal. To be fair, it wasn't even really his fault, you can't blame Marcelo for this because, I mean, if he lets it go past him... Oh, oh, that's not even his fault really because I didn't see that. It basically took a deflection and then it deflected off Marcelo, you can't blame him for that. That's an overall problem with the Brazilian back four. I really think... I don't know who the, I don't know who the right-back is on the other side from David Luiz but to me that's his goal. Like that's, you've got to get back to defend that kind of cross because that kind of low cross that goes... I mean, that's a beautiful cross, like across the face of goal, like exactly where you want it to be in a place that just bad things happen. Oh no. Oh. Oh no. Oh. The national team of Brazil that I have loved more than anything for lo these many minutes. Oh, it's just devastating.

No! Oh! Terrifying. Oh.

(36:00) It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. I don't know what to say. I'm in a bad place emotionally. Why does football do this to people? The people of Brazil, I mean, they deserve, they deserve the results, you know? They deserve to have their team win. They're better, better players, care more, playing at home, I just... It's devastating. I mean, reluctant congratulations to Croatia, a great footballing nation, new country, loves its football. That was a great goal, great job but oh man. Oh boy.

Mmm. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I don't blame Marcelo for that. I don't, I don't really. I think that... Oh, that's a nice ball! Mmm, not, just not quite on it. Hulk needed to have a first touch there instead of just crossing. By the way, his beard looks fantastic. Let's just pause for a moment and appreciate Hulk's beard. You know, we may not have what we wanted in terms of a result, Brazilian fans, but we do have Hulk's beard. It's not going anywhere, it's a gift to all of us.

What are you doing! What in the name of everything holy is going on!? I tell you, the Brazilian defense, making me nervous since 13 minutes 52 seconds ago. Who do you think you are, Liverpool Football Club? Come on! Play together in the back! Alright, Oscar, tiny little Oscar! Oh, tiny little Oscar! Oh! Oh. (38:00) Oh, tiny little Oscar almost did it. That could have been great. Could have been great but it wasn't. It wasn't. Mmm.

I'm watching the, I'm watching the only game of the World Cup right now, Brazil versus Croatia, the opening game of the greatest tournament in the history of humanity. Is that fair to say? The greatest sporting tournament in the history of people? Yep. Yeah, I think it is. I think it is. Which means that in the history of the Earth this is the greatest world wide sporting event ever since this planet went from being smaller than an atom inside the Big Bang to being a molten rock of very, very hot, gassy, not very good at science, to being a planet with continents, to being inhabited by humans, to being formed into nation states. The whole thing happened so that the World Cup could happen.

And now Brazil is losing to Croatia one-nil in the fifteenth minute. Oh man, they've had, Brazil... Croatia's had four or five really good looking counter attacks and Brazil... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! No. No, but we are, we are going to have a corner kick, we Brazilians, we fans of Brazil. Oh man. Mmm. Mmm. Come on. Come on, Neymar, come on, come on, come on. Yup, nope. No, no. See, you can't give up possession on a corner kick like that because it's just, it's so easy to counter so quickly if you're Croatia, like...

(40:00) That's nice. That was nice from Marcelo. And the crowd give him what I think might have been a sarcastic cheer. Oh man. This is exciting. I can't live tweet, I can't have a live show during the Indy 500 because I'm at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway every year and it's just not conducive. The overall vibe when I'm hanging out with my friends at the Speedway is not conducive to Google+ Hangouts. Plus there's no wireless. Verizon's done a great job making it possible to tweet during the - Oh gosh! Oh, Marcelo. He's having a tough game - tweet during the race but it's totally impossible to do anything else.

OK. Alright. Alright. Come on. Go! Go guys! You just need to find, I mean this Croatian defense is just so well organized. Look where they are, look how they move with the space. Like they've got that back line of like, I guess it's just four but then that mid-line of four more defenders is just so, I mean four more midfielders, is just so well organized. So Brazil can, is really struggling even to get... Oh! Oh Neymar! No. No. No. No. No. Oh boy. This is nervous.

By the way, Neymar looks great in that jersey. Not as good as I do but pretty good. You know, he fills it nicely. I fill it nicely as well. I've noticed he fills it more toward the pectoral muscles, I fill it more toward the middle, you know, where my woofs are and my belly. But there's more than one way to wear a shirt ladies and gentlemen. Oh, Croatia on the move again. Anything but two-nil, we cannot afford to go two-nil down. I can see Brazil coming from behind here winning three-one easily. Score one, score two and then get kind of a garbage goal in the 93rd minute, I can see that happening. Go down two-nil, I think it's big, big trouble. (42:00) Two down I get pretty freaking nervous. Um, yeah. So... Oh Brazil. Brazil, Brazil. Now I'm scared. Feeling genuine anxiety.

By the way, this is all a fundraiser for Sarcoma Research. You can donate at the link in the dooblydoo to the country of your choice. And if your country donates more than whatever country they're playing in a particular game, I will support your nation. So for instance, tomorrow I think Mexico is taking on Cameroon. As it stands now, I will be supporting Mexico but Cameroon's only $700 behind and every dollar that you donate counts as four dollars because I am matching your donations three to one. So people would only have to give like, I'm pretty bad at math, but $200 or so to Cameroon and suddenly I'd be a Cameroon fan.

Oh! Corner kick. Corner kick for Brazil. OK. Nine year old Oscar did a great job on the ball there and... Is he wearing Spider-Man cleats? Makes sense, he's nine. You know, that's what he's into. Nice, there was, I think there was a deflection there. Yes, OK. Alright, big moment. David Luiz coming up, Sideshow Bob, looking to make things right for the curly haired people of the world! Oh! He failed to jump! What were you thinking David Luiz!? What in the actual eff! Just jump! Jump three inches! Jump... John Green level jumping and that is an easy goal. The ball would just bounce off of your gigantic head and go into the net. Oh, that's frustrating. He must have been, he must have been caught wrong footed but where did he think the ball was going exactly?

David Luiz, oh he looks hurt. Are you kidding me? Is he injured? Oh. Neymar, Neymar, Neymar, Neymar! Oh, that's a beautiful ball, a great run. (44:00) Neymar! Oh! It's a save! Oh! What a beautiful ball though. What a beautiful... I mean that's, that's one of those moments where football is just so beautiful that you, like you believe in it. It makes you think that it's about more than just winning and losing, it's about beauty, it's about glory, it's about trying to capture these fleeting moments where you become aware of the symmetry and gorgeousness and coldness of the universe. Like it becomes a way into the truth. Am I overstating it? I might be. I'm sorry. I'm very, that was a very nice, that was a very nice pass though. If that had resulted in a goal, I would have just gone, I would have waxed on and on about it.

Come on guys! Let's get some crisp passing. There you go, there you go, there you go, there you go, there you go, there you go! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Oh boy. Well, it's been a difficult, it's been a difficult 21 minutes. I'm gonna live... I'm gonna continue this live show until the 30 minute mark and then I'm gonna just, we'll continue the conversation on Twitter. My Twitter is slash slash slash slash... Sorry, that's repeating myself. Slash sportswithjohn. Sports with John Twitter, I'll be supporting Brazil for the remainder of this game and hopefully through much of the tournament. Although, you can't start out with a loss against Croatia in this group. You've got to play Mexico, they're surprisingly good. Cameroon...

That's a foul. Oh Neymar! Oh! How do you not finish! Oscar! Oh! Oh my God. How have they not scored? Hulk, Hulk was like "Hulk smash!" and that turns out, that's not a good strategy. Just Neymar, tiny little Neymar. I mean, it's just, (46:00) he's like a, like a... That ball was slightly out of bounds but that's OK, that's part of the game. I mean, I just... He's looked great all game long. That wasn't out of bounds actually, I take it back. And then Oscar, that's a beautiful shot. That's a beautiful shot, Oscar. Oh boy. Mmm. Mmm K.

Yeah, so donate at the link in the dooblydoo. Every dollar that you donate will be matched at three dollars by me and it all goes to fight sarcoma, the disease that Augustus Waters has in the novel The Fault In Our Stars and that many people have in real life. It sucks and I hate it and let's do something about it. Oh man, I can't believe that Brazil didn't score there. It should be one-one, it really... Oh. Another great ball to Neymar but his first touch lets him down. To be fair, that was an incredibly difficult ball to track.

Oh, God it's so exciting. So exciting. So exciting. The goal-line technology says that that was indeed a goal, that Marcelo's goal that went forty feet into the goal was a goal. It's a stunning revelation and I'm glad that we had it 20 minutes after the goal was scored. Marcelo's goal was a goal indeed. Yeah. I'm glad that they, I'm glad they brought out the use of the... Poor Marcelo. Look at his eyes, he hated doing that. It didn't make him happy. Oh man. Mmm K. 23 minutes in, you can see the concern on the fans of Brazil including my face. My face is concerned as well. I'm very upset about the whole situation.

Oh, are you really hurt? Oh. Oh, I hope he's OK. The referee was like "This is the shape of Michigan. It's shaped like (48:00) a human hand." I have to say, I do fail to see how that was a foul on Croatia. It seemed to me that all he did was get elbowed in the face but what do I know about the rules of football. Alright, come on Brazil. You can do it. This is a winnable game. I still think it's winnable, they just need that same build up that they had, that beautiful flowing build up and then a slightly better finish from Oscar. I mean, if Oscar had gotten that into the corner, I think it would have been a goal. And to be fair, I mean that he's only ten years old, so I know that it's difficult to be a really good finisher when, you know, you've never shaved your face and you're only in fourth grade and et cetera. But, you know, he's got, he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Terrible pass from David Luiz, nothing that Hulk could do about that. That haircut, oh. Oh gosh. Watch it, watch it jump in the wind as he runs. Ba-dump ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. It's a beautiful thing, a beautiful thing to watch. Alright. Um, alright. So we're 25 minutes in. Croatia is winning one-nil, I am supporting Brazil and I'm very, I feel very anxious as a Brazil supporter. I just, I feel... I don't know how this happened. It doesn't seem fair, it seems unjust. Home team, you know... I don't think you can blame Marcelo for that. I'm sorry, I don't think you can blame Marcelo for that. I still don't think that it's his own goal really. I think it's the right-back's fault. It's the right-back's responsibility to keep that cross from coming in. But I don't know the name of the right-back so I don't know who to criticize.

OK, well we are, we're reaching the end of my, my live show here. Oh, that's going to be a card. That's gonna... (50:00) You're lucky that's a yellow because that was very stupid. That was a very stupid foul. OK. Alright. So, um, you can watch, you guys can watch, um... Ooh.

Oh, that wasn't that much. I don't know. You're not lucky to get away with a yellow actually. You were unfortunate to get a yellow, Neymar, because that foul happens a thousand times a game. Alright, so it's 1-0 Croatia in the 26th minute. I hope things change and, um... But regardless, thank you for watching part of the game with me today. You can follow along with the rest of my commentary at I gotta go take care of my kids so... And let's hope that... Well, from my perspective, let's hope that Brazil pulls this one out. Come on boys. You can do this. I'm just going to wait, I'm just going to watch this one free kick and see how it goes. Mmm K. Alright.

But thank you guys for watching along with me. Enjoy your World Cup. I'll do a few of these over the course of the next month or so where we watch a game together or at least part of a game together. Oh no! Oh, David Luiz doing that thing that he didn't do earlier - jumping. Worked very well. It's almost like you should do it more often. Alright, go Brazil! Vai Brasil! Thank you all for donating at the link in the dooblydoo at to fight sarcoma, raise money to, for Sarcoma Research. I really appreciate. Thank you all again. It's been fun to watch the game with you. Enjoy your World Cup. Go Brazil. Good luck to Croatia's fans as well. Oh God. OK, I just have to, I have to turn it off. Alright, oh God. (52:00) Everything worked out better than expected. OK. Thank you guys, DFTBA. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Actually, I don't know how to turn this thing off. I talked a big game but I don't know how to turn this off. Now I do. Bye.