Previous: Fun is Important. Being Serious Isn't



View count:280,952
Last sync:2023-01-27 20:15
In which John discusses who should be the patron saint of YouTube, the weird patronages ascribed to various saints, and in general his fascination with saints despite not being Catholic.


Shirts and Stuff:
Hank's Music:
John's Books:


Hank's Twitter:
Hank's Facebook:
Hank's tumblr:

John's Twitter:
John's Facebook:
John's tumblr:


Other Channels
Crash Course:
Hank's Channel:
Truth or Fail:



A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Crowd: Good morning Hank, it's Friday!

John: Hank, great video on Wednesday. Thanks for reminding us that Nerdfighting is important, but it also needs to be fun.

Anyway Hank, you've inspired to make my video today about something fun- saints.

So Hank, now that we've been brothers for almost 30 years, you know pretty much everything about me, but one thing you may not know is that even though I am myself not Catholic, I am completely obsessed with Catholic patron saints. Patron saints are saints that are associated with a place, or an ailment, or a career, and you can ask those saints to advocate on your behalf in Heaven. So for example, the patron saint of hemorrhoids-or I guess the patron saint 'against' hemorrhoids, is Saint Fiacre, who is also the patron saint of cab drivers, who due to the sitting and driving frequently get hemorrhoids, ergo he is the patron saint of hemorrhoids. Against hemorrhoids. Another example is that St. Clare of Assisi is the patron saint of television, because when she was lying in bed near her death, too sick to go to Mass, the Mass broadcast itself on her wall like a celestial flat-screen. So when your cable goes out, you ask Saint Clare to see if she can talk to the big man about whether anything can be done. Now Hank that probably seems completely crazy to you, but I would argue that the other strategy-calling your local cable provider-is even less likely to be effective.

Anyway, who you pick as your patron saint is important. For instance, St. Clare of Assisi, the aforementioned patron saint of television, is not a patron saint of children, which perhaps explains this famous painting of her, commonly called Saint Clare Saving a Child from a Wolf, although to the child in question the painting might be known as Saint Clare Showing Up Just a Little Bit Late Vis-a-vis My Left Arm and Its Attachment To My Body. But that's the risk you run when you pray to Saint Clare, not a patron saint of children, to intercede on behalf of a child. And who knows, Hank, the outcome might have been different if the intercessioner had been, for instance, St. Nicholas of Myra, AKA the original Santa Claus, who, you will notice, is not white. Paper Towns joke!

So anyway, Hank, St. Nicholas of Myra is remembered as a patron saint of children because he once resurrected three children who had been murdered and pickled in brine. So what I'm saying, Hank, is that it's vitally important to pick the right patron saint. And as of yet, there is no patron saint of YouTube. Now you could go with St. Clare, she's well established in the screen field; she's done a great job with television. Or, you could go with Isidore of Seville, who despite dying in the year 636 is somehow the patron saint of computer nerds. But Hank, I am going to recommend a relatively recent saint who, in a lot of people's opinion was a little bit nutty, Padre Pio. And yes, I keep him in my wallet. Padre Pio was a 20th century Italian priest who had the stigmata - or burned himself with acid repeatedly on purpose, depending on your perspective. And Hank, Padre Pio was famous partly because he is said to have had the gift of bi-location, which means that he could be in two places at the same time. He could be at the Pizza Hut and he could be at the Taco Bell without being at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

That's a neat trick, but thanks to YouTube, isn't it a superpower we all now have? I mean, here I am in my basement in Indiana. And I'm at your house in Missoula. Actually, I have trilocation because I'm also [stands to show pizza shirt] currently located on my own chest. Hank, on Monday you'll be in both Indianapolis and Missoula. I look forward to it.

Patron saints are saints that are associated with a particular place or an - Willy, what was the one rule about you being able to watch filming? It was that you wouldn't make noise with your collar.