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In which Hank infiltrates the French camp.

Last time on "Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0" I was following this army of people dressed like Frenchmen, and we had to kill a bunch of people, and it was... it was surprisingly frustrating because of the level of difficulty.

And the frickin' beggar women, who I want to punch, but I will throw money to instead. That was actually worse. That seemed a bit worse. So... yes. I'm following Bartolomeo and his men. And the worst part was, I tried to shoot these people, and it turned out that I could not shoot them. 

(0:50) I almost threw money at this guy. That would have been embarrassing. Hey, how's it going? Okay, see, that was... that's what I should have done. That's what I should have done last time, clearly. I don't know why I didn't do that last time.

So the reason we're doing this is because this man has had his wife abducted by some French soldiers, the French army in the employ of Cesare, of course who is the bad bad guy who I will not kill until the very end of the game. I may not kill him at all, actually, going by Ezio's previous, previous track record which is that he never kills really bad people, only people who are employed by really bad people, which I think is a great policy, just generally. 

(1:42) What's going on now? Are we gonna cut scene? Let's cut scene. We're here. Are those flowers (?~1:50 in front of me?) I speak French well! (Ezio: Montréal.) Montréal? Is that a real place? Is that... I thought that was just in Canada.

(Ezio: There were a couple of French girls in Firenze.) Oh, Ezio. "I don't learn French for tactical advantage, I learn French to get laid." 

*singing* Follow Bartolomeo and his mercenaries into the French Castello, there you will be merry, and you will kill, you kill, kill, kill, killing lots of Frenchmen, yes, yes, yes. What are we doing, where are we going? *speaking* I don't... What are we... Where are you guys going? What's... Oh, there's... They raised the gate for us. Look at us! We're so good! The French, they have no idea. We are about to cause a ruckus. 

(2:52) We... I have a nice feather hat. (Man yelling in French) What? Huh? What'd you say? I don't know what that meant. French. I don't know. 

*singing* French, French, French, we walk among another to this town. We, walking single file, not an... *speaking* There's my wife! (de Valois: It seems that you have seen the light.) Yes, well... (Bartolomeo: Release my wife!) Oh, the love is so nice. (de Valois: Such entitlement from a man born with nothing to his name.) Ooh. (Bartolomeo: Mine is worth its currency.) Okay. (de Valois: How dare you?) No, I don't like you. (Bartolomeo: Nobility comes from fighting beside your soldiers...) Yes! (Bartolomeo: Why don't you grow a pair, and release my wife?) YES! (de Valois: You savages never learn.)

(3:51) Boom-stick! Boom-stick. My boom-stick is better than your boom-stick. Ooh, what are you... what kind of soldiers are you guys? I can't tell by your armor. Are you gonna attack me? Or are you just gonna stand there. Oh my god. Oh. You guys are good. You're good. I don't know what to do to fight you. I don't know what... What the frick just happened? Was that the... was that one of my friends? I don't know how to tell. And then... STAB. Oh, I just kicked him in the nuts. 

(4:36) Okay. That was a really uneventful battle scene, but I didn't ever see the guy I really wanted to kill. (Bartolomeo: Take the rooftops!) Yes, sir! Rooftops are my middle name. Overtake the Baron de Valois... Valois... and assassinate him because you are an Assassin and you don't get to assassinate enough. Mostly you just kill people... OW! I need to take the rooftops! Nope, nope, nope, get up. Okay, there are a lot of bad guys around. A lot, a lot, a lot. Ohhh I missed. 

(5:20) Where am I going? I don't know. Oh jeez. You guys, there's a lot of you. I think that my plan of attack here is... I don't know what I'm doing. Apparently, I have to kill you guys, so we'll start one at a time with you. Oh you stabbed me before I could get my frickin'... 

Thank you for that. I'm gonna use it to kill you. And then I'm gonna use it to kill your friend, just by the way. And then I'm gonna use it to kill your other friend. Ugh. Nope. Ugh. I did not want to get rid of that. UGH come on. Use it, use it... Yes! Ugh annoying! 

(6:23) Open the gate. Where is the gate opener? I had to kill those people before opening the gate which I find frustrating, but doing it. Opening the gate. I don't know where I'm going, to be totally honest with you, but Ezio seems to. Even though he's running out of crossbow bolts. 

There you are. Boom stick! My boom-stick is better than your boom-stick, just by the way. *reading notification*SNIPER x ONE sent you a message. Kill the Baron without being seen?! Why? Why can't I just kill him with being seen? I was seen. Ohhhh. Okay. Well at least there's a good reason not to be seen. Oh. That made me uncomfortable when he shot her in the head. 

Okay. This time... this time I know what I'm doing and I shall not be seen. Look at how badass I am. I wanna wear French armor all the time. 

(7:20) Okay. Let's do this without being seen this time. I am really low on crossbow bolts. Really low. There are so many bad guys around. So many. I'm pretty bad... at not being seen. Pretty bad at it. Okay, okay. So far so good. Climb up this, that, that, and that. 

(8:14) Oh, I thought I was gonna assassinate him in a more interesting way, but I decided just to shoot him from a distance. Where's the crossbow bolt? Somebody was telling me that they thought it was funny that I call them "bolts." (de Valois: Perhaps you are right... I need more time.) Oh you're a dick. Can I take some of his golden stuff, though? (Ezio: Che tu sia pari nella morte. Requiescat in pace. ) Oh, there are so many wonderful things that he says to the people he kills in the infinite grid. Walks around into infinity. 

Thank you. I know that you want me. (Bartolomeo enters.) Wow, how'd you get here so fast? I thought I was gonna get a kiss. (Ezio: I did not. It was all your husband's idea.) It was... aww, that's so sweet of you. Aww, I've been the instrument of family love. But I get to keep this armor, right? Cause it's sweet. I look like... a badass. 

(9:33) No! Lemme get this, before... before I jump out of the memory sequence. Nothing happened. Awwww, come on! I wanted to see if there was money in there. Portrait of the Baron de Valois was acquired, which is a weird thing to want to have. I have to be honest. 

I finished this memory sequence. Next time on "Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood 2.0" you will see the next memory sequence begin! Thank you for watching me. Goodbye.