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In which John vlogs from a couple airports and is politely interrogated by an understandably curious police officer.

Playing FIFA while telling you how I met the Yeti:

p.s. I wrote a novel. It's called The Fault in Our Stars. The entire first printing will be signed. If you have read this far down into the dooblydoo, maybe today should be the day you order it.
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A Bunny
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People: Good morning, Hank! It's Friday.

John: Hank, you just got said 'hello' to by Josh Lewis, Holly Black, Cassie Clare and the great Maureen Johnson. As you can tell from the gray speckled walls behind me, I am currently in an airport. Actually, you're probably watching this in the future, in which case I'm hopefully not currently in an airport. Unless you're one of these people, in which case you're watching me in the present and I am currently in an airport. (0:21)

So I've been in New York for the last couple days meeting with my publisher, Julie Strauss-Gabel, and my agent, Jodi Reamer, to talk about The Fault in Our Stars and all the wonderful things that are happening, none of which I can tell you about. Do you know what I do, by the way, when I am in airports and my flight is delayed and I have an hour to kill? (Sharpie on paper noise) I sign The Fault in Our Stars! I brought two thousand sheets to sign today. It's a green pen day, in case you're wondering. I get excited about, like, what the color day is. I wake up and one of the first thoughts I have is, 'Is it a purple day? I hope it's a purple day.' But it's not. It's always a green day. Oh that would be a good name for a band... Green Day... (0:57)

So Hank because I spend about six hours a day signing my name over and over again, I've been thinking a lot about my signature and its many inefficiencies. I mean there's the obvious problem of the complete illegibility of my signature, but another disappointment about it is that it's totally inconsistent. Like sometimes it looks relatively good, like this one, and then sometimes there are ones like this one that are just you know, tragically and irrevocably flawed. And the weirdest part is that when I try to explain to Sarah about these tragic and irrevocable flaws in some of my signatures, she thinks that I'm crazy. She says that's the exact same signature as any other signature, but let me tell you, when you spend six hours a day looking at your signature over and over and over again in fifty-seven thousand iterations, you start to notice the little things. (1:35)

You know, like the amount of volume in the J-Scribble and whether the hooble-dee-hoo lines up with the whattidy-what in the J. Which is not even to mention the variable length of the gooble-de-gook over here at the end end of my signature. Also, this whosidy-what up here, sometimes I don't even write that because my hand goes off the paper. It's a disaster! (1:48)

Hank, I just had one of those "The people at the airport think that I'm crazy" moments, and it occurred to me that, uh, you probably also think that I'm crazy. I hope that I'm not suffering from Signing Madness. That's a disease, you know. I made it up, but it's a disease. Hank, let's go see if there's anything interesting in the airport. (2:03)

Look at all the free iPads, that's interesting. Pizza is interesting. A monument to dead sheep is kinda interesting. (2:09)

Right, so funny story. By the way, John from the future here, I'm in a different airport, but anyway. Right after I said that thing about how it's sort of interesting to see a monument to a dead sheep, a police officer walked up to me and said, "What are you doing?" And I said, "I'm filming a monument to a deceased sheep." And he said, "Why are ya doin' that?" and I said, "It's a really, really long story." And then he just looked at me for a while, and finally I said, "Is it illegal?" and he said, "I don't know!" And so I was like, "Well as long as we're in this legal gray area, can I keep doing it?" and he said, "You probably shouldn't." (2:38)

So thus ends the vlog. I have to go get on a different airplane because the previous airplane wasn't fun enough. But Hank, I will see you on Friday! Unless it is Friday, in which case I will see you on Monday! Sorry, I don't have my calendar with me! (2:50)

Hi, it's John from the future future, I made it back home, so that's good. Quick P.S.: in the great tradition of older brothers, I have taken a cool toy that my little brother enjoyed playing with and stolen it. I am referring, of course, to the YouTube channel hankgames. I have started a series of video's in which I play FIFA while telling you stories of my life. So, for instance, if you click on my face right now, you will be taken to a video where I am playing as the Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers while simultaneously telling you about how I met and courted the Yeti. So you can check that out there and if you like it, subscribe, and thank - Hey! Look, it's my calendar! I missed you, calendar! (3:23)