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In which John makes a 10-part vlog to lament the end of an independent judiciary in Pakistan.

Today John namedropped cutewithchris:

p.s. Part 5 of today's video answers the question asked in Oak Brook.


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A Bunny
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Good morning, Hank. It's Monday, November 5th. Today's video comes in ten parts.

Ten parts? Are you crazy?

I know, it's madness! But the good news is that each part is going to be extremely short, like what we just did?

What, you mean like this back and forth?

Exactly. That was part one.

Wow. You didn't even introduce the part. You just BAM, went right into it.

I know. We could keep talking about what a great trick it was, but I gotta move on to part two.

Part two. Hank, thanks to you and Dad for that video you dug up of me at the Orange County Public School Author Awards. It was quite interesting for me to see the way I responded to the first compliment my writing ever received from a peer. And while I'm tempted to agree with you that that moment represented the first time I realized that my writing could connect me to other people and to the world, I think it's far more likely that that was the first moment I ever realized that a girl might, for even one second, like me.

Part three, Pakistan. Listen up General Musharraf, 'cause I know you watch this show, you're pissing me off. Stop it.

Part four, Paper Towns. Hank, the ball that is Paper Towns is back in the court that is my house, which means that, for the next week or so, I'm going to be editing, like, 14 hours a day and it's going to be very stressful. So, anyway Hank, I feel like I should tell you that this week's video blogs are going to be kind of like Alberto Contador in the Tour de France, which is to say that I'm gonna go really fast and I might have to use steroids to do it.

Part five, earworms. Hank, you know sometimes a tune or a lyric from a song will get stuck in your head, like, you know, like, "I need Harry Potter like a Grindylow needs water and as Saturday approaches, my need grows." Like that? Well, lately I've been having poetry earworms. Like this from Walt Whitman: "Has anyone supposed it is lucky to be born? Well, I hasten to tell him or her that it is just as lucky to die and I know it."

Part six, Nerdfighterlike. Hank, I have great news. We've raised enough money through the generosity of many, many Nerdfighters, that now we can bring our secret sibling and her secret Nerdfighter boy together so that their awesome can collide and cause an awesome mushroom cloud that will spread awesome fallout all throughout the world. Hank, even through they've basically been outed in My Pants, I'm still not going to say their names until they tell me it's okay, but I have to tell you they are so cute. Hank, they're so cute that they could beat any of the puppies or kittens on Cute with Chris.

Part seven, Pakistan again. I mean, seriously George Bush, have you ever liked a leader of a country who turned out not to be a total jackass? Like, remember when you first met with Vladimir Putin and you said that you could see into his soul and you saw that it was a good soul? Excellent call, George Bush. And then do you remember all of the wonderful things that you said about Musharraf? It's almost like you have really questionable judgment.

Part eight, one more thing about Pakistan. Hank, I don't know if you can tell, but I'm really mad about what's happening in Pakistan right now. Do you remember in 2003 and 2004 and 2005 when President Bush would say over and over and over again, "Democracy is on the march"? Um, where is it marching to? Because it's not marching to Pakistan. And it's not marching to Russia. It's not marching to Nepal. It's not marching to China. It's not marching to Saudi Arabia. It's not marching to Libya or Kuwait or Oman or Kathur. It's not marching to Venezuela. In fact, if you do a count, you might find out that there are fewer genuinely democratic countries today than there were when democracy started marching. Hank, maybe democracy is marching to Mars. Which, I'm sure, is great for the Martians, but it's a disaster for us. Hank, we have got to get democracy off the march immediately!

Part nine, the outro. Hank, it looks like the people of Pakistan are going to be less free tomorrow than they are today, just as they are less free today than they were yesterday. I don't look forward to seeing that tomorrow, but I do look forward to seeing you.

Part ten, the scavenger hunt. Hank, Nerdfighters have found clues all over the United States. They found a dollar bill in Indianapolis, a dollar bill in Englewood, Florida, and a note just outside of Chicago. They've de-anagrammed all the anagrams in the notes and they've found a video that we've hid for them. Now we're gonna calm down for a day and just chat.