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So it was Lydia's birthday and someone stops by.

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The Lizzie Bennet Diaries is a Primetime Emmy Award winning series based on Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.
The series was produced by Pemberley Digital.
See other Pemberley Digital projects at
The show was developed and executive produced by Hank Green and Bernie Su.
See more details at

Lizzie Bennet - Ashley Clements -
Mary Bennet - Briana Cuoco -
Lydia Bennet - Mary Kate Wiles -

Executive Producer - Hank Green -
Executive Producer - Bernie Su -
Producer - Jenni Powell -
Co-Executive Producer - Margaret Dunlap -
Associate Producer - Rachel Kiley -
Director - Bernie Su -
Story By - Anne Toole -
Teleplay By - Kate Rorick -
Cinematography - Jason Raswant -
Assistant Director - Stuart Davis -
Editor - Sam Mollo -
Transmedia Producer - Jay Bushman -
Transmedia Editor - Alexandra Edwards -
Production Designer - Katie Moest -
Makeup - Heather Begley
Intro Music and Graphics - Michael Aranda -
Lizzie:  Okay...My dear, darling sister Lydia has insisted on throwing her birthday party tonight, and I'll give her this - she doesn't do things by halvesies. Her word. 
Stains in all colors, a small fire out back that was luckily put out before it burned anything more than a small shrub, and someone keeps spiking volleyballs at the garden gnomes. What did a harmless garden gnome ever do to them? I ask you...
I needed a break, so I came in here to my sanctuary.
[glass breaking, Lydia off camera]: Oopsie! It's okay, it's my birthday!

Lizzie:  My name is Lizzie Bennet, and this is - not the bathroom!

[Intro plays]

Lizzie:  I could call my parents, but having them rush home from Uncle Phil's would only result in a lot of yelling, and chances are Lydia would be passed out for it. Better to wait until tomorrow when they can witness the carnage, and Lydia will be sober - and hungover. Besides, my baby sister only turns 21 once. She should have some fun, right? 
[off camera, Lydia:] Dance, boys! Dance for the birthday girl!

Lizzie: Although, her definition of fun differs from mine. Although I prefer peace, quiet and maybe a good book, Lydia needs to be surrounded with large crowds at all times. There are so many people out there, and I don't know any of them - and I have lived in this town my entire life. I think I need more friends. 
[to door] Not the bathroom!

Mary: Oh my God, hide me.

Lizzie: Mary! Totally forgot you were here. Internet, cousin Mary, cousin Mary, internet.

Mary: Yeah, we've met.

Lizzie: Of course. I didn't mean to hijack you into my videos the way Lydia does-

Mary: No, it's okay. I'd rather be hijacked by you right now than her. 

Lizzie: Don't worry. Once we get some cake into her, she'll crash. Oddly enough for her, the sugar counteracts the alcohol and causes a blissful coma. Blissful for the rest of us.

Mary: Okay, but do you know how many people are out there? Aren't you getting worried this thing's getting out of control?

Lizzie: Well, I've got 911 and an emergency cleanup crew on speed dial if necessary, and I can always impersonate my mother and scare off anyone who refuses to leave.
[impersonating] Have you lived up to your name yet, and found a sensible young man to marry? 

Mary: That was scary. Please stop.

Lizzie: I know. Least I already took care of the worst would-be party crasher. 

Mary: Was it that Darcy guy you always talk about? 

Lizzie: No. George Wickham.

Mary: Oh, yeah. He was kind of a douche.

Lizzie. Douche is an adequate term.

[Lydia off camera] No, no, no, stop it! Only boys can enter the wet T-shirt contest!

Mary: So, George isn't coming? This kind of feels like his scene.

Lizzie: No, he most certainly is not. I made sure of that. 

Mary: How?

Lizzie: Would you like to help me with something?

Mary: As long as it's in this room.

[Costume Theater]

Lizzie [as George]: Hey, Lizzie. 

Mary [as Lizzie]: George. What are you doing here? 

Lizzie: Shopping for groceries. As you do. It is so awesome to see you, peach. 

Mary [breaking character]: Oh my God, seriously? He went in for a hug? 

Lizzie: It was more like a grope-hug. A grug. 

Mary: Doesn't he watch your videos?

Lizzie: Apparently not since we stopped seeing each other. But read your next line. There's a format to these things.

Mary: Sorry. [as Lizzie] I thought you were leaving town...again!

Lizzie [as George]: I am soon, but I wouldn't want to miss the chance to see you. You were doing that, uh, intern thing, right? ...Learn anything? 

Mary: Actually, I learned a lot. There were some interesting people there, too. Like Darcy. 

Lizzie: Darcy. Just the mention of his name reminds me of how he hypothetically ruined my life.

Mary: Perhaps, but he has some virtues.

Lizzie: Virtues? Now you think Darcy has virtues?

Mary [breaking character]: Do you think Darcy has virtues? Because, it's like, I don't care, but I just think it would be really interesting if you'd changed your mind about him that much-

Lizzie: Mary, read. 

Mary: Sorry, right. [As Lizzie]: Actually, Darcy's not so bad. He has some more virtues than some I could mention.

Lizzie [as George]: Whoa. Sounds like I have some catching up to do. But you can get me all caught up tonight at your sister's party-

Mary: You are not invited.

Lizzie: But I know some of the volleyball guys-

Mary: No! You are not invited! You can't come tonight! [breaking character] You said I interrupt you there, that was pretty good, right?

Lizzie: That- that was great. Great job, Mary. 

Mary: Was that actually how it happened? Because you were kind of harsh.

Lizzie: I wasn't that harsh, but hopefully that is the last we will ever see of George Wickham.

[Lydia off camera] It's candle time, bitches!

Lizzie: Alright, now we really have to get out there.

Mary: I suppose. Are you sure cake will help? 

Lizzie: Trust me. Cake solves everything.

[Lydia off camera] Oh my God, fire. Lizzie! Fire extinguisher! Lizzie!

[Outro plays]