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You asked for punish myself for putting up a freaking FARMVILLE video...I played some QWOP today....I thought you might enjoy watching
Welcome to Hank Green plays, that's right, QWOP. Do you know what QWOP is? QWOP is one of the best, uh, Flash games of all time, in which you get to control the thighs and calves of a runner. A sprinter, even. So if I wanted to control his left th-- or his right thigh, I would press Q, and his right thigh would go up. And if you do that too much, he obviously falls right the frick over. Apparently, though, in different ways. Because there's a lot of randomness in this game. And then if I wanted to control his calves, I would push O and P, for his left and right calves. And I have my personal best now is 1.5 meters. QWOP is amazing. I was just playing Farmville on my gaming channel, which everyone hated, a lot, and somebody-- the first comment on that video when I went to check it later, the most rated comment was "what are you gonna play next, QWOP?" So yes, playing QWOP, and my new strategy is to get as far backwards as possible. Okay, no, not actually. So here's how I play QWOP. You try and run. AAARRGGH and you fail. So go, good. Good. No, no. Not backwards. No, that's-- okay. So I'm gonna do good one of these times, 'cause I'm gonna be trying harder. Currently apparently not trying hard. Yeah, yeah, keep it. Yeah that was a beautiful stride, man, that was one awesome gorgeous stride. How do you keep your body weight over your butt-- NO DON'T WHY DID YOU that-- Oh, 3.7 meters, I'm so good at this. Okay, go. No... that was faceplant. Okay, okay, good. Yeah. No, not at all! Oh you're trying to do a back flip. I wonder if you can do a back flip in QWOP. That would be-- that should be the title of this video, "Back flip in QWOP." And everyone would be like "oh my god that's so--" but then they'd watch it and they'd be like "he is a liar. why did he lie to us with his video title. No one ever--" DOH I broke my foot. Oh I broke ev-- is that my foot back behind my head? It fell off. It fell off. Okay, I'm gonna do, gonna do good. Go, yeah. Just, on your knees. Stay on your knees. It's safe there. Yeah, okay, bend it. No no no no, yes, oh yeah, oooh so good, doin' so good. I've never gotten anywhere-- whoa, goin' backwards. I'm, I'm-- I actually did not beat my personal best because I walked backwards for a while. That is embarrassing. Go, go, yeah. Um, I've never gotten anywhere close to a hundred meters. Apparently if you go a hundred meters, you officially-- OH MY GOD. *BLEEP* Yes, I just cursed. Yes I did. 'Cause that's what QWOP does to you. It makes you a bad person. Ugh, okay. Okay, so, yeah, you're supposed to go a hundred meters, and apparently it's possible. I-- I've never watched a YouTube video but I'm sure you can find one of someone going a hundred meters. Uh, I find it ridiculous to imagine that that's possible, especially as this is my technique, and it would take forever, because I've never been able to make my QWOP man move forward in any other way besides this. Oh, good job. Good job QWOP man. Good job! Is your name QWOP? Are you QWOP? What is your-- OH no, no, no, no, no, no. 7.5, that was good. Okay, and I mean-- theoretically I feel like you should be able to look like you're running, but I don't know how. There we go, that looks like i'm running. Go forward. No! Not that forward. How do you keep your head above your feet? No, what is that? Aw, crunch noises in my brain. Nope nope nope. So this is obviously me saying I'm sorry for Farmville, for putting Farmville on my Let's Play channel. OOOOh, almost with a back flip. Almost. That was close. That was pretty close. My feet did eventually land on the ground. Um, I was dead by that point, but-- when I say dead, I mean that obviously my body had lost all of its-- ooh, no. Okay, run. Run. No, ugh, what? How did that happen? Nope, yeah, run like a person. Like a person. No, no, that's not how people run. That's not like a person at all. That is like, only like-- AW god. Totally started hitting the wrong button. Nooo, no QWOP. MY BUTT. My elbow hardly touched. I understand that your elbow's not supposed to touch the ground while you're running, but that was barely-- I was still on my feet. I wonder if I could even make my elbow touch the ground while I was still on my feet? Go, gah, no you tripped. You stupid face. Aw. Still I beat my best. Still I beat my best. My phone is ringing, which is just stupid. Can't you see I'm playing QWOP? Okay. Okay, I think I may be done. I think I may be done playing QWOP after-- ugh. This is the thing about this game. That you will always want to keep playing more. Because you will never, ever win. Ugh. You can only lose QWOP. It's like Tetris and The Game, there's no winning, and life. It's like Tetris, life and The Game, you can never win. Oh just go forward. Get some forward momentum, QWOP man. Noo! No too many too many. Oh my god. Yeah, run like a normal person. What is that? That's not right. No, no, why did you do that? You're going backwards. Forwards, yes. Yes, people run forwards. Ugh, no, no, my god if-- poop pup poopy poop. Okay, alright. Thank you for watching Hank Green plays QWOP. It went badly, I think you can agree. And, uh-- hopefully it will make you feel better about the fact that I played Farmville. Which you all, apparently-- you've lost all respect for me now. Probably this is not going to help. Oh yeah, just do the split. Just do the split and hang out there. Eh, so, thank you. And now that he's apparently a double amputee, uh, you will not see me and I will not see you playing a game that is not QWOP or Farmville next time on Hank Green Plays Games. Okay, goodbye.