Previous: October 22nd: The Anniversary of Young Earth Creationism



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In which Hank faces up to some careless spewing that has been going on lately.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good Morning, John, it’s Tuesday, October 23rd.

It seems that you and I as Brotherhood 2.0 have some explaining to do. On several counts.

First, we’ve got my lipstick. I ate a blue lollipop…and it’s not washing off…not actually lipstick. I promise.

Second, people seem to be very surprised that I was driving so much last week. They were confused that I was driving to Seattle just to get on a plane. But if you live in Montana, you understand that it’s sometimes a necessity because it is impossible to fly to some places from Missoula without paying thousands of dollars.

So instead, Katherine and I drove, like, eight hours to Seattle, so that we could see some friends, hang out, and THEN get on an airplane—to Georgia. Which is where we are now. To see some friends get married. You might recognize these friends as the duo who assisted us in Will You Miss Me When I’m Gone From Your Pants. This is the back of one of their heads. And he’s not turning around. Even though I’m fairly certain that he knows that I’m talking about him. Brian? Brian?

Oh well.

The third thing that we have to explain about, I think, is my aversion to tattoos. Very sorry to the people who were offended by my statement that sometimes people begin to resent their tattoos later in life. I understand that having a tattoo is a personal choice. I have not made that choice for myself. Uh, I could someday maybe decide that I need a tattoo to explain some part of my life, to…celebrate some joy, to…uh, put something behind me, but I’ve never had the urge, um, because I’m not really in favor of paying for things that hurt. Also, I feel like having a tattoo puts you in a club, and people can make judgments about that club—

(Hank gets very close to the camera and points.)

(Sarcastically:) Ooh, tattoos. That guy. Has tattoos. That must mean he like to cut the nuts off the little kittens.

One of my hopes in life is to minimize visual cues by which people can judge me. Obviously I’m not a hundred percent good at that—I wear funny t-shirts, I have dark-rimmed glasses, I’m wearing blue lollipop-lipstick. But all in all, I feel like I would rather people judge me by what I say, and how I act, than, uh, what I look like, and what is tattooed across my knuckles.

Now obviously the judgment being made against people with tattoos is not the fault of the people with tattoos. But sometimes it’s worth screwing with the way you—


(Brian blows an air horn in the background.)

(Both laugh. To Brian:) Interfering with my video blogging!

Anyway, I think you get the point.

Sometimes it’s just not worth joining the team. And while I might not actually take a huge amount of pride in my place at the head of Team Unicorn…I am quite proud of my involvement in Team Science.

The idea of science is that you take a bunch of factors, and then you work towards a solution. Creationism sort of is the exact opposite. Where you have the solution—because some guy came up with it hundreds of years ago—and then you work towards making everything explain that solution. I’m assuming, John, that that’s what you meant when you said that young Earth Creationism was “rampantly anti-intellectual,” or something. You kept saying that in the comments. And I just wanted to let you know that, unlike the zombies and unicorns thing…I’m with you on that one.

But what’s dangerous is getting on the teams and then getting angry at each other because that’s what high school rivalries are about, and that’s what Holy wars are about. And those are two things that I’m just not a real big fan of.

In that spirit, I want to leave you with a story:

Katie and Emma went to the same high school, and they thought they were the only nerdfighters at that high school, and then Katie and Emma found each other, and they found out that they were nerdfighters. And NOW, they are STRONGER, because they are nerdfighters TOGETHER. And THAT is what matters.

It’s not fighting against—it is joining up, and that’s what nerdfighters is about, and I don’t want people to be pissed off about what I believe, because in the end, John, it’s just me talkin’ to you.

Don’t forget to be awesome. I’ll see you tomorrow.

(Cut to scene with Hank, a girl, and a dog.)

Hank: These two are married.

Girl: It’s taken a lot of time for my family to come to terms with it.

Hank: It’s the age difference, mostly.

Girl: It must be the age difference, because she’s, like, four maybe or something.

(Hank coughs.)

Hank: She has bad breath. She breathed on me.

(Cut to Hank holding a cat.)

Look, it’s a new kitty. This is Robin. Say hello to the Internet, Robin.