Lizzie: No, you're not taking it!

Charlotte: I'm taking it!

Lizzie: You're not taking the job. You're staying here!

Charlotte: No, Lizzie. I'm taking the job. I leave this weekend.

Lizzie: What has gotten into you?

Charlotte: Why do you keep turning on the camera?

Lizzie: Because you're not taking the job. (to camera) She's not taking the job!

Charlotte: Turn off the camera!

Lizzie: My name is Lizzie Bennet and Charlotte has lost her mind!

(theme music)

Charlotte: So, what are we doing?

Lizzie: You're staying.

Charlotte: I'm not staying!

Lizzie: Tell them! Tell the viewers what happened.

Charlotte: I took Ricky's offer.

Lizzie: And?

Charlotte: And what?

Lizzie: And what does that mean for you?

Charlotte: Well, I'll be moving. 

Lizzie: And what does that mean for the show?

Charlotte: Well, it means I'll be leaving the show. But I can still
help with your videos.

Lizzie: But it won't be the same! They'll hate you! The viewers will
hate you.

Charlotte: I- it's not that simple, Lizzie!

Lizzie: Of course it's that simple. You tell Ricky you're not taking the offer!

Charlotte: I can't!

Lizzie: Yes, you can. I'll call him for you.

Charlotte: No. I'm taking the offer. I want to take the offer. I need to take the offer!

Lizzie: You don't need to do anything!

Charlotte: Yes I do, Lizzie! Like you, my family's in debt. Like you, I'm in debt. Just more debilitating than yours.

Lizzie: No, you're not.

Charlotte: We live in an apartment. We used to live in a house. I have a younger sister about to start college. There is no house to sell!

Lizzie: What about school? Your advanced degree!

Charlotte: Didn't you say our degrees doomed us to a life of unemployment?

Lizzie: That was a joke. You get a degree so you can get a job!

Charlotte: And Ricky Collins is offering me one! It's an amazing and
lucrative opportunity. Those don't come around every day! Can you please let me go? (pause) I'm gonna go check your frame. (leaves frame)

Lizzie: So, Charlotte's leaving. She's leaving. She's throwing away her education to play second fiddle to Ricky Collins and I don't care if he's watching - he's an idiot and a moron and, and Charlotte is free to make her own choices but I'm free to have my own opinions and Charlotte is making a stupid choice.

Charlotte: (reenters frame) Ok, seriously? What the hell?

Lizzie: I'm telling our loyal viewers who love and adore you that you're making the wrong life choice. 

Charlotte: I'm right here.

Lizzie: But you're not listening to me and at least they will.

Charlotte: Why can't you just be happy for me?

Lizzie: Happy?! My best friend is leaving me and selling out. How am I supposed to be happy?

Charlotte: Wow. Selfish, much? How about, "Gee, bestie. Congrats on snagging that great career opportunity!" Or even, "Hey, Charlotte. Not only am I happy that you're not gonna be in horrible debt anymore, but I'm thrilled that you'll be working in the field that you're passionate about."

Lizzie: Passionate?! He wants your help making corporate videos, bad reality TV, and pointless commentary vlogs! You are brilliant and talented. This job is a waste of your time and your talent! You're throwing away your dreams.

Charlotte: What do you know about my dreams?

Lizzie: I've been your best friend your entire life and I know that if you take this stupid, mind-sucking, pointless job that you'll never have time to work on your own stuff anymore.

Charlotte: Well, that's no different from right now. Because guess what, Lizzie? All this time, I haven't been working on my stuff. I've been working on yours. (pause) If you need help with the videos, I...I can recommend some people. (leaves room)

(End credit music)