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Yesterday I met with my friend, Ben, at a coffee shop. I got a hot cocoa and sat down by the front windows to have what we both suspected would be a very challenging conversation: Jesus's sex life.


In the last ten years of knowing Ben, he's read the Bible at least four times cover to cover, recently started a church in Oregon called the University Church of Eugene. Ben identifies as a Christian and knows his faith which is part of the reason we were hanging out. I had decided with the help of Patreon supporters that it would be interesting to discuss sex and religion around the Christmas holiday.

After reading controversial articles, Bible translations, even reflecting on interviews I've done with clergy in the past, I found there isn't a consensus on sex and Christmas so I asked my friend, Ben, for his perspective.

First question: Did Mary consent to getting pregnant? Ben replied softly "I can't know if it's not addressed in Scripture, I don't want to argue from silence". Argumentum ex silentio, he double checked on his phone and showed me he wasn't willing to make things up. Ben reached for his Bible and turned to the pages he playfully referred to as "the Christmas verses". In case you don't know, Christmas is a celebration of Jesus's birth approximately 2000 years ago. Christ mass, Christmas.

Ben's Bible, book of Luke, describes how an angel visited Mary to inform her she's pregnant with God's baby and not to worry. Mary, the teenager asks "But how can this happen? I'm a virgin, I've not known a man." Virgin: someone who has not experienced sexual intercourse. "To know" in a Biblical sense: to have sex with. Out loud Ben read the angel's explanation. "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you", not like Zeus. Ben reassured me of this too because he could tell that I had the image of God raping Mary to create Jesus. Ben stressed that he wasn't there to know for sure but based on Luke 1:38 where Mary says "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word" it seems like she consents.

Did Mary eventually have sex? Millions of Catholics believe no but Scripture talks of Jesus's siblings: James, Jude, Joseph, Simon, and at least two sisters. At this point Ben looked at me with his own curiosity and said "Can you imagine how much it would take to convince your sibling that you were a deity?" I responded by asking him if I could convince him I was pregnant with God's only daughter. He wasn't sure he knew what I meant so he played out the dialogue. "I'm pregnant. An angel came to me and told me I'm having God's only daughter." As a Christian Ben believes that there is one messiah, savior, and he's already come and proved himself by rising from the dead. I, however, couldn't see why my hypothetical unborn couldn't be a second messiah and I pushed on him a little. Ben explained while God is God and can do whatever he wants, we don't need a second messiah.

Do you know about Jesus's sex life? The quick and unsatisfying answer, according to Ben, is that Jesus didn't have a sex life. No evidence here. I referenced other theories and translations that suggest a sexual anointing, even a polygamist marriage to follower and sex worker Mary Magdalene. He shook his head. Why not!? Then joked "Jesus is too busy. Theologically the Church is the bride of Christ". We tossed around ideas of sexual orientation and Ben offered that sure, Jesus could have been asexual, but felt not having sex was a choice Jesus made as an upstanding man honoring Jewish code regardless of sexual desire. Jewish code: you don't sleep with people you aren't married to. Where does it say that? The first five book of the Bible.

Well, did Jesus poop? Can I just say that Ben was incredibly patient with my feisty curiosity. He assumed Jesus pooped. Ben continued "It made sense for Jesus to poop and eat, but that's different than sex because sex is not a need, it's a choice. If you choose not to eat, you die. If you choose not to have sex, wet dreams."

"Why do you abstain?" I said knowing of Ben's full abstinence from sex an masturbation. Ben again referenced Scripture, the Sermon on the Mount from Matthew chapter 5 through 7 which actually promotes tearing out your eye and throwing it away because it causes you to sin a.k.a. look at lustful women. The sentiment is being willing to make drastic and life-altering changes to follow Jesus, not self-mutilation. Ben wants to adhere to what the Biblical teachings mean to him, to model what he interprets as Jesus's sex life. Simply, not married, no sex. Though as Ben himself puts it "We don't know for sure what Jesus's lifestyle was like, we weren't there. We can only stay curious."

A special thanks to Ben for sharing his beliefs with us. I'm looking forward to sharing many different religious and secular perspectives with you on Sexplanations. Two notes: one, we're almost to 200,000 subscribers. Please subscribe if you aren't already. This brings attention to the channel meaning more people get sex edutained. Two, everyone who pledges $5 or more on Patreon will get monthly digital calendars of all things Sexplanations. I think you're gonna love it.

Vahmmmm. Blehhh.