Jane: Hi!

Lizzie: And everything is as it should be. My name is Lizzie Bennet and, now we group hug. 

Lydia: Pig pile!

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Lizzie: It is a truth, universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

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Charlotte: You saw your videos from Pemberley Digital, right?

Lizzie: I will admit that there was a certain amount of---

Charlotte: Chemistry? Heat? Tension?

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Jane as Lizzie: Really? That's the best you can come up with?

Lizzie as George: Uhh, that's what happened. 

Jane as Lizzie: You just waited for days to say anything. You didn't e-mail, you didn't do anything to let me know that you just left. I made you Snickerdoodles!

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Lydia: Cuz I'm all about the true-to-life, bitches! You want the real story? You ask The Lyd-Dee-Yahhh!

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Ricky: Oh we must retreat immediately across the boulevard. The employees have gathered and are eagerly awaiting the announcement of which costume has won the $25 gift certificate to the fast food franchise of their choice!

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Darcy: Well I didn't think it was my place. You've respected my confidences, after all.

Lizzie: Really? What about when Charlotte and I---

Darcy: If I knew a Darvid, perhaps he would feel differently. 

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Bing: Excuse me, but, um, I'm a genuine medical student technically. I'll be the judge of that. 

Jane: Oh. 

Bing: Oh that's not good! This is very bad. 

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Lizzie: Once upon a time there were two little boys who grew up together. One was called Dar---vid. Darvid! And the other was called---

George: Vin Diesel! 

Lizzie: Vin Diesel?

George: Oh, no, the Rock! Oh! Batman . . .

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Caroline: Apology accepted, Elizabeth Bennet. Please join us for lunch in 15 minutes. I hope you enjoy your stay here at Netherfield. 

Lizzie: Thank you, I-I'm sure I will. 

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Fitz: I am ready for my close up.

Lizzie: Oh, I don't move the camera . . . ever. 

Fitz: Well, I'll just lean in like so. 

Lizzie: Okay . . . not weird.

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Lizzie: Oh, let me---

Gigi: What are you doin'?

Lizzie: Turning off the camera. What are you doing?!

Gigi: I just figured Charlotte could, you know, edit this all out later.

Lizzie: Well, I think I might edit this one myself. I don't want to overwhelm her.

Gigi: Then it shouldn't matter.

Lizzie: Are you always this weird?

Gigi: I-d-wh-would that keep the camera on?!

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Mary as Lizzie: No! You're not invited! You can't come tonight! 

You said I interrupt you there. That was pretty good, right?

Lizzie: That-that was great. Great job, Mary.

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Maria: Welcome to Better Living with Collins & Collins. I'm Maria Lu and today's topic is trouble-shooting your new indoor illumination regulator.

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Jane: I brought you some tea. 

Lizzie: Not sure I really deserve tea right now.

Jane: Everyone deserves tea.

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Lizzie: My name is Lizzie Bennet . . .

Charlotte: And my name is Charlotte Lu . . .

Lizzie: And this is the Lizzie Bennet Diaries.

Together: Na na na na na na. Na na na na na na, yeah!

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Lydia as Jane: Bask in the morning light as the darkness fades. Just you and me, moving together, over and over and over. Binging as one.

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Darcy: So if you just want to be friends or say thank you for recent events then---

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Charlotte as Caroline: Oh look, your little crush is coming this way.

Are you fake-texting?

Jane as Darcy: It's super-important.

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Lizzie: She hasn't left her room in two whole days. The only reason I know she's still alive is because she keeps pinning sad pictures on Pinterest.

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Lizzie: Really? We're doing this?

Jane: Come on, I'm getting really good at it. 

Jane as Darcy: So, umm, this song is really catchy. I hear it's popular and really good for dancing. You like this kind of music, right? I mean, that's what Caroline said. Not that we talk about you, but yeah, uh, it's uh, dance music. 

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Lizzie: Your sister is crazy.

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Lizzie: Why do you have headphones?

Lydia: Oh you might want to cover your ears.

[loud train whistle]

Lizzie: Oh my God! That's so loud! Lydia! You were supposed to help--

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Darcy: Lizzie, may I help you?

Lizzie: I'm looking for your sister.

Darcy: She's at tennis practice. Did you need something?

Lizzie: Umm . . . maybe?

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Lizzie: The things I do for my sister. You know the parts that are just gelatin? Not that bad. 

Let's just save that for later. 

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Lydia: Until next time, this is The LYD-DEE-YAH giving you the real story. 

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Fitz: Wait, this one here . . . Hey oh!

Gigi: Looking good, Mr. Williams, you are looking good!

Fitz: I know, I moisturize.

-------------------

Lizzie: He's a really successful businessman and really successful businessmen sue people . . . a lot, so I'm told. Oh God, do we know any lawyers?

Darcy: I'm not going to sue you. 

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[intro plays]

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Lizzie: Doesn't mean they weren't frolicking in meadows. 

Lydia: Oh my God, stop it! They are too hot and single to be gay!

-------------------

Lizzie: Then her favorite cookies: chocolate chip.

Fitz: Nice! Did you bake those yourself?

Lizzie: Like I bake. Why? Do you have homemade chocolate chip cookies in your bag?

Fitz: Nope. 

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Darcy: I was unaware of your feelings towards me.

Lizzie: You were unaware? Then why don't you watch my videos!

Darcy: What videos?

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[outro plays]