Good morning, John.
 
Uh, the internet, is pretty great. It's weird and economically and culturally diverse. It's my hobby and it's my job and it's my passion - and it's my friend.
 
A lot of the marvellous, weirdness and diversity of the internet was and is because of a concept called Net Neutrality. Basically the idea that all the information flowing through the pipes of the internet has to be treated the same way, which is kind of a new thing.
 
Other information distribution systems never really had that rule which allowed for people who had money to come in and control everything. But, with the internet, whether you're watching, like, the most popular television show on T.V. right now, or you're just watching me in my office, talking to the camera and being a weirdo, or you're looking up net neutrality articles on Wikipedia, all of that information has to be treated the same.
 
The thing is, a lot of companies with a lot of money, don't want it to be this way. They would rather say, "Well, if somebody wants to pay us to deliver their content faster, and slow everybody else down, then sure, yeah, we want to do that."
 
And some companies want to be able to pay to speed up their content while competitors can't afford to do that, so that they can maintain their strangle hold on the psyche of the American people. The people who want the internet to remain neutral are mostly, people. We often feel like people, just normal people, don't actually have that much influence on how the American government is going to get run. 
 
Now, with Net Neutrality, this is compounded by the fact that both technologically and legally complected. So, it's kinda hard to get people on board with the regulations, especially when pro-business people can just say, "Big government wants to regulate the awesomest thing ever!"
 
And that sounds a little scary; we don't want the government to regulate the internet. I don't like the idea of that! But, we're not really talking about them regulating the internet, we're talking about them regulating the companies that deliver the internet.
 
So it's really come down to a vocal and active group of people on the internet -- it's not a very big group of people -- being the only folks who are championing net neutrality.
 
And, honestly, I didn't have a lot of hope that we'd actually win. Like, not a big win. Maybe we'd force a middle course, you know? But, look, Tom Wheeler of the FCC used to work for the cable industry, and they hate net neutrality.
 
And most individual people don't care about net neutrality; they don't even know what net neutrality is. And practically all of the money being spent by lobbyists is being spent to lobby for the destruction of net neutrality.
 
And yet, here I say it, in the United States of America, where the internet has been reclassified as a public utility, giving the government, finally, the power to keep the internet neutral. And the new FCC rules guarantee,that they will do that. 
 
We...won. We won!
 
It's almost a foreign idea to me. But we won. And it's a win against the lobbyists and against corporate interests in a situation where there was no reason for the government to do the right thing, except that it was the right thing.
 
The other thing is that this really came down to party lines, like there were three democrats voting on the FCC and two republicans. And the republicans voted against net neutrality.
 
So whenever people say, "It doesn't matter, both sides are the same side," then something huge like this happens that would've totally gone the other wa, if there had been a different administration in the White House.
 
And it's huge! This is hugely important for the future of the internet. It's hugely important for the future of me.
 
But it was dragged out over a long time, and it was complicated and it wasn't really sure when it was gonna actually happen and be done with.
 
So it's just not very exciting, but that's how these things happen. And I would feel like a bit of a grapefruit if I didn't say thank you to all of the people who fought and worked hard to make the government realize that they needed to keep the internet neutral. And also, to all of the people in the actual government who decided to do this despite the fact that they're gonna make a lot of corporations angry, and we know that those corporations have a lot of power in America.
 
And also, I would feel bad if i didn't just take a little moment to celebrate and be happy about this thing that has finally happened after a really long time of working on it.
 
So, THANK YOU EVERYONE, THIS IS AWESOME! HUZZAH!!
 
John, I'll see you on Tuesday. 
 
Oh look, Jimmy Carter's found his bed. Find a job!
 
John: Suddenly, you're just an old man playing a video game with extremely out of date graphics.
 
Hank: I'm just gonna get the coins and star.
 
Katherine: You are such a nugget!
 
Hank: This is the first time Bill Clinton has EVER FLIRTED! Are you guys fighting over me right now? Thank you Mario! But the princess is in another castle.
 
John: Why does Toad talk like that?
 
Hank: That's what he sounds like.