Hank: Hello, and welcome to Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4. We just completed year one! Albus Dumbledorious. Saddus Harry Potterus. Everybody okay? Everybody's....everybody okay! What...what are you doing over there?

Katherine: I don't know who that is.

H: (Laughs) That's a mummy. Wow, he's tiny! Why does he look so tiny?

K: 'Cause he's LEGO. Everyone is the same size.

H: Everyone's the same size.

K: They have interchangeable parts.

H: Right. It's an equal world.

K: Perhaps even the House Elves are the same size.

H: Candy! Looks like he's wearing a Star Trek uniform.

K: Always pick the red ones.

H: Well, they could taste like blood. That was some earwax.

K: That's not bad.

H: Blood isn't bad?

K: Eh!

H: You're like, I don't care about...blood is fine. Oh, we get credits!

K: Do we have to watch all of the credits? That is ridiculous.

H: Why didn't we do this at the end of the last episode?

K: Oh, goody. I skipped it. Okay.

H: (Laughs)

K: Woo! I was worried.

H: (Coughs). Hey, LEGO mens!

K: Oh god, we have to...

H: Oh, more stuff! Well, we have to...this is our reward for beating year one!

K: This is a reward, yes. Woooo.

H: You get to see the Lucas Arts logo or...or whatever.

K: TT.

H: TT.

K: TT TT TT.

H: I don't know why I thought it was Lucas Arts.

K: TT.

H: TT? Traveller's Tales. TT.

K: Smells like Dorito's.

H: Uh, that would be because there is a Dorito in your mouth.

K: Yep. There, that is why it is. Smells like Dorito's and video games.

H: Somebody...for some reason it smells like Dorito's in here. And Cadbury Creme eggs. 

K: Ew.

H: And Gatorade.

K: Ick.

H: Red Gatorade. That's what it smells like. Hey, we did it! Woo, woo!

K: I have nothing against red Gatorade. Yay, yay, yay! Hey, umm...

H: Yes, Madame?

K: Let's make the ghost studs thing turn on.

H: We had to pay for it, remember? We went to look.

K: Yeah let's pay...yeah. Let's pay for it.

H: Okay. Okay...

K: I have heard it is worth it.

H: Where are we going?

K: I don't know.

H: It's this way, you crazy lady! Careful with the cart!

K: (Laughs)

H: Don't...just..beware of the cart.

K: I'm try...I'm gonna try to get it to run over you.

H: No! The cart is...you are dead! We just killed you!

K: Somewhere up there...get him!

H: We made you dust! Is it this one? I think it's this one.

K: I don't know. Yeah it is.

H: The Wizard's....Wizaker...

K: Wiseacre's.

H: Wiseacre's.

K: No. I don't think we need to be in this room to turn it on.

H: I think you are correct, sir.

K: I think you just need to go to extra's...

H: Extra's.

K: And...and buy it.

H: Yeah.

K: Or something...

H: I was it...I meant...did I go right past it?

K: No, it's at the bottom.

H: Uh, ice rink...

K: Towards...towards the bottom.

H: Stud magnet...Collect ghost bolts! What is that noise?

K: (Laughs)

H: I disagree with that noise.

K: Okay, maybe it is here then.

H: Wow. Okay you can buy the things so you don't have to buy the things. Rict....right okay. Herbifors, Glacious, Incar...we already got that. Flipendo, Trip Jinx.

K: Trip Jinx, that's a good one.

H: Engorgio Skullus.

K: Accio is worth a lot of money.

H: Apparently it's the good stuff.

K: Um, nope! It's not any of those things.

H: AAAH! I don't understand your stupid functionality!

K: Seriously. Where do I buy it?

H: No. No. Nope.

K: Hm.

H: I don't understand. It's available to buy, but it wouldn't let us buy it.

K: Do we buy it...at...Gringotts?

H: Let's look it up on the internet later.

K: Not..to that, but we're gonna play all of this. Okay. Let's just play this par...this one. And then we'll look it up.

H: Okay. 

K: You suck. We're gonna miss...miss the bolts!

H: Where are we...?

K: I had to see some owls.

H: Aggghhh! I have...I have to play through video games.

K: I love owls!

H: You love to shoot them.

K: Ehhhhh!!

H: You love to shoot owls. Heh...heh!

K: Shut up!

H: He looks like a drunk...

K: Are you making fun of my little...

H: I am making fun of the little noises that you make when you jump. Begin year two! There's so many ghost bolts to collect. It's not gonna make a big dif...maybe you can buy them when we start this.

K: (Sighs) Maybe. I don't know

H: I wish people could be commenting on this right now.

K: I know. Live commenting.

H: They're always like, comment comment comment!

K: After we've played it. That's not helpful.

H: No dildos allowed in here!

K: No cigars!

H: (Laughs). No cigars! 

K: What? 

H: Where did? At least you don't have to stay in your cupboard.

K: Ahh!

H: Ah!

K: What is it?

H: Oh, Dobby makes me sad now.

K: Don't talk about it. That's...that was not year two.

H: He's like the...he is smaller, though.

K: Yeah, he is.

H: Yeah, I guess they've got, like, child-sized ones. Wait, which one is...this is year two already?

K: Yeah!

H: I didn't realize Dobby came along that early. It's been a long time since I've read it.

K: Good lord, yes. He's...he's the Malfoy's house elf!

H: No, I know.

K: And...

H: Ahhh!

K: I have to keep him from dropping this cake on her head! While at the same time making it look as though I dropped it!

H: Yeah, that was perfect.

K: I am so stupid! Man, Harry Potter. So...

H: (Imitates Uncle Vernon)

K: (Laughs)

H: Yes, well it's better than what Voldemort would be doing to you.

K: Uncle Vernon is...special.

H: He's got...chain-link fence. With razor wire on top.

K: Yeah. Yeah. And a...a spy cam. Hello, Ron!

H: We got, we got this!

K: When do we...when do we get to play this game?

H: Uh, no. We're watching.

K: Oh.

H: It's way better than playing!

K: Okay. 

H: Grunty grunters!

Both: The Ford Anglia!

H: Get into it. I heard for the movie they had to buy like, all the Ford Anglia's in the world.

K: (Laughs) There probably aren't that many.

H: 'Cause there weren't that many, but they had to destroy like, seven of them.

K: Ohh...so now there aren't any.

H: No, they've got...they've gotten rid of them all.

K: Just for Harry Potter.

H: Yep!

K: Hedwig was covering her face! And then she fainted! That's hilarious.

H: (Laughs) What, are you drunk? Was she angry or drunk?

K: (Laughs) She did kind of look...

H: She totally looks drunk!

K: Her face!

H: Alright, what are we doing?

K: Oh, god! Shooting Ron in the butt, apparently!

H: We're gonna destroy her garden!

K: We have to get all of these guys, right?

H: Right, right. Yeah. I didn't think that was in the movie. But in the book...how do you get them? Oh, you have to Leviosa them.

K: Well...okay. Z to lift a gnome. Press and hold Z again...

H: Ohhhhhhh! I hit him right on the target!

K: I shot mine into the dishwasher. Washing machine, I mean.

H: I dropped it. What are...what are...is there something in particular I'm supposed to be aiming at?

K: You just have to let it spin enough. Or something.

H: (Coughs)

K: Bam!

H: Oh yeah! 

K: Look out, a scooter!

H: He like, exploded into a bunch of turkey legs.

K: Fish? Were they fish?

H: Maybe they were fish? They looked like turkey legs.

K: Yeah...they...you, you say that all the time, and then they're fish.

H: What are you doin' buddy?

K: It's the last one.

H: I'm not feel...I'm not feeling it. There you go.

K: Go!

H: Oh, into the Anglia!

K: Get the fricken studs!

H: I think we don't have stud magnet turned on. Let's, uh, let's do our extras here.

K: Oh, good lord. 

H: It's all red! Why are they all red? Maybe we don't have enough bolts?

K: I don't know, maybe.

H: Everything is red.

K: Well, those are all locked because we don't have the brick. 

H: These are available to buy, but it still is not letting me do it.

K: Hmm...no, no. Resume. 

H: Well there's a ton of space over here. There he is!

K: I'm building this tractor!

H: John Deere.

K: I don't know why I'm building this tractor...

H: I'm gonna get this guy right into the...the...nope.

K: In the basket.

H: In the basket. That's what I was trying to say! What are you making? It's a popcorn maker.

K: Pumpkin car!

H: Oh, it's a pumpkin car. I don't understand why I can't do the thing. 

K: Push Z and then push Z again.

H: That's what I'm doing!

K: No, twice. Only twice. There you go.

H: Ohhhh. 

K: Uh-oh.

H: Ohhh, that hit the pumpkin car! And then you ran over me!

K: (Laughs)

H: Okay! Oh my god. I have to do a thing!

K: (Laughing)

H: I'm like, on my knees now? Don't...yes!

K: You don't want me to run you over?

H: Goal!! I got the thing!

K: I'm stuck. I got it stuck in the mud.

H: I have to Leviosa this. I...ahh!! Oh! I made the carrot explode.

K: (Making car sounds).

H: Okay, well I still made it explode, like a rocket ship.

K: Come on, thing. Turn!

H: Just dieeee!! You're doing it on purpose!

K: (Laughing) I totally am!

H: Why??

K: (Laughing) Because it's hilarious!

H: (Laughs) I am shooting off carrot rockets over here!

K: Because you get flat, like a pancake.

H: Oh, well done. 

K: What?

H: Well I though you totally missed it.

K: No...aw god this thing is impossible! Look at what it's doing, it just can't!

H: We've got two more, there's one over here...

K: I know! Ahh I broke it. Okay, get back in there. Now...now...now drive! Drive like...yes! AHH!

Both: (Laughing)

H: That's my carrot! That's mine!

K: This game is much more fun with two peoples.

H: We're stuck.

K: We're going to explode...

H: How do you go backwards?

K: It doesn't go backwards!

H: That is a problem. That, that is a functionality that it should have.

K: I just snorted extra large.

H: Seven!

K: Pow! 

H: I just wanted you to know...

K: Give me the Hufflepuff crest!

H: That I would totally be running into you if this thing would let me.

K: Eeeee! Eeee! Eeee! 

H: Oh, god. Oh, man. What is its wheels doing?

K: (Laughing) I don't know. Ah! You exploded it!

H: No!!!!

Both: (Laugh)

K: (Making squeaky noises and laughing)

H: You ran over me like, seven times!

K: (Laughs)

H: (Coughs and laughs)

K: Oh noooo!

H: Yeesss!! Overturned! Where is your head?

Both: (Laughing)

K: Oh, I found a purple!

H You found a purple. I hit you into a purple!

K: I found it!

H: Okay I'm going into The Burrow.

K: Fine. I guess I have had enough fun out here.

H: Oh, was that Ginny? Is she running away from me because of how cute I am?

K: I think so. I don't know when we started. 

H: I don't know when we started either. But it's probably been more than ten minutes.

K: Aw that's not what I meant to do!

H: Let's uh, let's, let's...make everything in this room float that can float.

K: Okay.

H: What is this? I'm doing this, by the way, not you.

K: I'm number two!

H: I'm doing this.

K: What am I doing then?

H: I don't know.

K: What? Come on, Ron. You don't...you don't need to suck so bad at magic.

H: I don't know...oh I'm...I'm fixing...the sink. I fixed the sink because I'm handy. 

K: Good lord.

H: That's why. Everybody go wash yourself! Dishes!

K: Oh, man.

H: Yeah, I know. Seriously.

K: Magic.

H: Why do not...I have this? And now we set the table...and now...

K: Oh it was because I was pushing the wrong button. Whoa, so many, so many! Everything floaty. Everything floaty.

H: And this...is a couch. Checking it for cush...checking the cushions for some stuff.

K: Why is there so many moneys in the Weasley house?

H: I'm waving at this...

K: That seems unlikely.

H: I don't think the...I don't think that bolts are money.

K: Studs.

H: Studs. What are bolts?

K: Bolts are the things you shoot out of crossbows.

H: I just made that word up? Really? 

K: Um...yes.

H: Because I've been calling them bolts the whole time.

K: Yeah, I know you have.

H: LEGO bolts. That sounds right to me.

K: LEGO studs. Hmm.

H: LEGO bolts.

K: Oh, boy I got sucked up against the...

H: You okay?

K: Yeah well I...you went around the corner and I could not follow. 'Cause this is a one way street here.

H: Yes this is not the splitscreenville.

K: Nope. Okay, so...we...whoops! I just tapped, okay outside again.

H: Right, so we don't know what we're doing. So...I think we should end this episode here.

K: That sounds good.

H: Because we don't know what we're doing!

K: We did nothing!

H: Oh, and it was so much fun!

K: We ran each other over with...

H: Hurrah! Hurrizzle! Hey!

K: (Laughs)

H: With pumpkin cars.

K: Pumpkin cars and tractors.

H: So next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4 I promise we will do something. And you will not see us, and we will not see you but you will hear us next time on Hank and Katherine Play LEGO Harry Potter. 

K: Goodbye!

H: Goodbye.