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In which Hank searches for Leonardo's tank. Jumps into and out of a bunch of hay, too.

Hello! Welcome to Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed Brotherhood 2.0! Last time, our hero, Ezio Auditore, accepted a mission to destroy a tank!

I cannot be detected because it will cause desynchronization!

Guard: The invention is under guard, and I caged the spies.

Hank: What?

Guard 2: Those who attempted to steal from Cesare must be punished.

Hank: Yes, of course. Like me. I fully accept your punishment if you wish to give it to me--OhhHOOOOOOOOHHHHHHoooo....why...

Where did that guy come from? Alright, good. (*hay bale fall*)

Get in there...excellent..

There's a guy there, there's a guy there. That's too many guys. Don't like that. Don't like that at all. Why--WHY CAN'T YOU CLIMB THIS WALL? CLIMB IT! Oh my god! I can't believe you can't climb that wall. Good. Now go, quick, get up there I need to see this person again. No, get up! Up! Up! Okay good.

(1:02) Assassinate him (*gkkht*) That is what you call not being detec--oop. Except for that guy.

Now quick, quick quick like a bunny. Quick like a frickin, frickin Okay. Badly done. Badly done, Hank. Badly done.

Yes, I alerted the guards big time. That was done again, done very badly.

*sings* Infinite grid of pink and blue fail! Pink and blue is the color of my fail! Into the infinite grid, it's pink and blue, but it is over now so I can continue!

 Tank Mission, Take 2

(1:47) Alright, locate the architect of the Tank. Do not be detected.

There's a lot of hay around here, I like that.

Do do do do do da...da..wait.  Why do I only have four crossbow bolts?

*sings* Infinite grid...infinite grid...running around in the infinite grid...

*sings* Now I'm running around in the Italian summer-side.

Italian summer-side? That doesn't make any sense.

*leap of faith noise* You didn't see me! I just landed in a hay bale. That's...yeah, of course you didn't hear that happen! Why would you? That wouldn't make any sense at all!

Don't see me. Stop pretending to notice me, I'm way to assassin-y for you to see!

Yes, good. (*leap of faith noise*) I can assassinate this guy from right here...come into this hay with me! We'll have fun in the hay!

(3:18) Who needs you? You were not helping anyone anyway. Okay, this is not good. I don't really see what I'm going to do here...

Two guards is usually too many guards. I don't like to kill...Follow the architect to a secluded area...Okay, this looks like clearly where I need to be going. Oh, your security is lax!

beat up the architect the location of the *funny voice* ah BLUEprints.

That's the architect, right? Okay, beat him up. With my fists.


Ezio: And the device itself?
Architect: I don't know, but you need three people to work it!


Architect: No! We captured three soldiers. They are in a cell across from the plans. They will help you.

Hank: I am...I am as many people as..don't let them go! You always let them go, and then I am so totally crazy notorious. Why do you do that Ezio?
*high-pitched singing along with dramatic music* de do do do dee dee DEEEE* dramatic music, it's so dramatic it's so dramatic, it's *nonsense noises*

What? Oh, I didn't see you! Noo! No, it's what, dah! Freaking crossbow, you asshole! Oh, nevermind. That worked. I just totally wasted a crossbow bolt though, that's annoying.

Ugh, I did not see that guy! I'm a dummy! Hello, don't worry about me, I'm just going to cross real fast.

(5:27) Okay, I have to rescue these people from the prison cell. No, I have to blow up the plans first, with the fire they always have conveniently next to the plans. FIRE FIRE FIRE. Okay.

 Free the Mercenaries

(5:40) Free the mercenaries. Okay. Alright, mercenaries. I need your help. I need you to be mercenary for me. Mercenary me. the guards? There have got to be guards around here. Where are you? I see your red dots but I do not see you. 

Guard: Halt!

Hank: What? What? No! No, no, who's there? Oh, there you are! *crossbow bolt noise*

Ah. Probably could have killed you better. In a better way.

*bolt noise* That is you dead. Now. Any more friends? Any more friends around? Should I have interrogated one of you?

Okay, it seems like we've got it all cleared up here. B to interact with the sparkly bit!

 Escaping to the tank

Ezio: Where is Da Vinci's machine?
Mercenaries: Follow us! They have hidden the path, but we discovered the entrance!

Hank: Why are we friends? I don't believe you. I guess I can trust you? Mercenary captain and mercenary canoneer. Follow and protect them.

Okay, we're doing this now--where's my sword? Did I throw it into that guy? Oh no, I did not. There is a LOT of people here.

No, no bad! *bonk* There's a lot of people here! I am not sure where I am!

*fighting noises* Oh man. This is bad. Ah, shoot. Shoot!

(*fighting continues*) WHAT? You did not flashy! Oh, gimme--you're throwing stuff in my eyes. *ghkkkt* Yes, I needed that! No! Get the big guy, the big guy!

Oh the mercenary canoneer is not doing well. I'm not sure if that's the mercenary canoneer or not.

No, dude! Don't! You gotta wait! Oh, oh stop that! Oh my god, you are annoying. You just fight him, and I'll go stab this guy in the back.

What? No, no in the back, in the back Ezio! Yes, death. Aw, man. You are bad at killing people! Good thing for you I'm good at it.

Um we need to search these people so don't run too fast. I need crossbow bolts. Badly.

Don't run away. Stop! We need crossbow bolts! Throwing knives are good too, but mostly crossbow bolts and bullets please.

What's going..Ah! No! Where did you guys go, you guys are so dumb, oh my god!

Whyyy? *gunshot*

Aw, jeez. You guys are big huh? You guys are pretty big. I can't believe I threw my bastard sword into that guy. I'm not gonna be able to get it back either.

Oh, there's too many of you! *clang* Oh your axe is really big!

Yup, that's me killing you and you.

Alright, the cannoneer is not doing well, and I'm worried for his safety. No, that's no what I want. NO, that's not what I want either, oh my god.

Crossbow bolts! WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE THROWING KNIVES AND NOT CROSSBOW BOLTS? Okay, two of them, that's a good start.

(10:00) Mercenary: Cesare intends it as the centerpiece of his forces. His army prepares for a surprise assault on Sicilia.

Hank: SiCILIA!

Ezio: We will stop the attack.

Hank: We will! With this giant manhole cover! We use it as a shield!

Mercenary: We need to open that gate!

Hank: I can open gates. I'm totally good at that. Umm....
*sings* Do do do do do doooooo..climb the gate, oh, climb the gate, oh, climb the gate oh Ezio

Okay, I assume that I should not fall down, right? Everybody agree with me on that point,'s pretty in here. Good lighting.

I don't see..okay, I guess there's ground there. I don't know where I'm going. But here, I'm just gonna do it. Okay, don't go that way. Area not yet available. Okay.

Oh, there's a sparkly bit down there. I didn't see it.

(*gate clanks opens*)

I need to sparkle the bit before I can access that area! Hello mercenario? Mercenario hello? Is this a sparkly bit too? Hi guys, there's a chest here. It might have some Zoolander in it. Or some crumpkins? Nope, just "f"s. *sighs*

Find the lever. I did that I just did that. I thought. Arris--what? (?) Okay, I am..I'm gonna hang here, and I'm gonna end this episode of Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed Brotherhood 2.0 here is a long mission, and---Ohhhh look at that chest I'm sure there's some frickin pomander in that one. Oh man, I'm not gonna do that.

Okay. You will not see me and I will not see you but you will hear me next time on this guy is awesome, 2.0. Okay. Goodbye.