Previous: 007 - What to do About Stomach Farts
Next: 009 - Dear Hank and Felicia



View count:235,960
Last sync:2020-08-22 06:30
How do you adjust to a new culture in a new town? Do I have to study at an Ivy League school? Should I keep chasing my dream? Grace and Hank have all the answers!

 Intro (0:00

Hank: Hello, and welcome to Dear Hank and John.

Grace: Or as I like to call it: Dear Grace and Hank.

Hank: This is the weekly podcast where I, Hank Green, and usually John Green but this week the amazing Grace Helbig answer your questions, give you dubious advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. But first, Grace, do you have a poem for us?

Grace: Yes I do! Here we go. Ready? It's an original.

"Levon sells cartoon balloons in town
His family business thrives
Jesus blows up balloons all day
Sits on the porch swing watching them fly
And Jesus, he wants to go to Venus
Leaving Levon far behind
Take a balloon and go sailing
While Levon, Levon slowly dies"

So. There's a lot of symbolism. It's, um, uh, I wrote this in, like, third grade. This is actually, yeah. So this is an excerpt from my diary. I had a crush on this kid named Levon and I really, he didn't like me back so I wished that he would die. 

Hank: And then something about balloons, you liked balloons then too.

Grace: Yeah, I was at a kid's birthday party, it was, it got complicated. Levon just didn't want any of this.

Hank: It would be, it would actually... How wonderful would it have been if you could've actually found... should have people do that! Bring on your childhood poetry.

Grace: Oh my God! Can you imagine.

Hank: Do you have any nearby?

Grace: No. I have this that you can't see in this audio podcast but it's a papoose hanging on my wall that I made in fourth grade when we were studying Native Americans in social studies. Well, I take that back, my dad made on my behalf for a project in fourth grade, in which my teacher instantly knew that I didn't make it.

Hank: Yeah, no I would not have said that that was something a fourth-grader did. 

Grace: No, not at all, but it has lasted till now. I'm 29 years old and I think I was 8?

Hank: And you got that just in case you have, a baby shows up?

Grace: Yeah, that's my Baby Bjorn. It's just a pile of sticks on the wall with some burlap strung to it.

Hank: And a yellowed piece of paper with type-written text on it that I'm sure says something very sentimental.

Grace: Absolutely. And there's so many spelling mistakes in that thing, but it was at the time when you wrote everything on typewriters so you didn't want to go back.

Hank: Yeah you can't fix it.

Grace: Yep. This stays. This is just how... Tribe is spelled without an "e" on the end.

Hank: Trib.

Grace: Trib. It's a great trib.

Hank: Everybody, if you don't know who Grace Helbig is, that's a surprise. But she has her own podcast here on whatever platform you're using to listen to this podcast. It's called "Not Too Deep with Grace Helbig." It's a lot like this podcast, except nothing at all like it. Because we talk about existential crises and death and dealing with grief and leaving your friends behind, and you specifically have titled your podcast in a way that if anything like that happens you can quote the title of the podcast and turn it right around.

Grace: I mentally eject myself from those situations. Yeah, this podcast is essentially everything that gets repressed on my podcast. I started my podcast as a, based off of Rhett and Link's podcast, because Ear Biscuits, their podcast, is so deep.

Hank: They're like, "So tell me about your family."

Grace: Yeah. They sit you in a dark room, they make you feel too comfortable, and then they ask you all your secrets and insecurities, and you just tell them because you trust them.

Hank: And they have such soothing voices.

Grace: And they play good cop bad cop, but even their bad cop is still kind of a good cop and so you just, you trust. And so I left that podcast feeling very vulnerable and so I wanted to make a space on the podcast area that made people not feel vulnerable, that was just full of dumb. Yeah, my favorite thing.

Hank: I like dumb, too.

Grace: Thanks! It's one of my favorite ways to describe something in a complimentary way. If I say like "That's so dumb!" I'm like "That's really great!" Yeah.

Hank: Turn it around. It's like how hot is cool.

Grace: Oh yeah! Wow! What? How being hot is cool?

Hank: No, like the word "hot" and the word "cool" mean the same thing. Dope.

Grace: This is just us aging ourselves in an audible way.

Hank: "On Fleek"

Grace: Am I "in Fleek" right now?

Hank: I want to make a video about "On Fleek." I'm fascinated by "On Fleek." Anyway...

Grace: I don't get it.

Hank: It's just another... And, I have a whole series of thoughts about, not just "On Fleek" but every word that means cool-

Grace: All the jargon.

Hank: -of which there are, in every generation, dozens.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: And they last for such a small amount of time, but they all sort of stick around a while, like hip and groovy.

Grace: Yeah. I try and use "tuna" saying that as a means to say "cool". I say "that's tuna" 'cause there used to be, I don't know, it might still be on, this reality show called Wicked Tuna. It was about these Boston tuna fishermen, and so it's called Wicked Tuna! and so I used to say things that were cool were wicked tuna! and then I just shortened it to "tuna!" And it hasn't caught on the way like "Fleek" has, but yeah.

Hank: You just need to get the Viners to get on your tuna trip.

Grace: Seriously! I know! God Damn. That's where all the trends start now on Vine, isn't it?

Hank: Yep. Yep. Yep yep. Yep yep yep yep.

Grace: Good to know.

Hank: My favorite is the sort of, like, twenties slang and was particularly when a show went really well, a reviewer would say, or the press would say that it was "boffo" B-O-F-F-O.

Grace: Boffo? I've never heard that before.

Hank: Yeah, and it sort of, for a little while, came to mean awesome in general, but only for a tiny bit. Having watched a whole bunch of old movies, occasionally I will hear or see the word "boffo" and I will be like "This word! Where did it go? Bring it back!"

Grace: It sounds like a child with a speech impediment trying to say "bravo!" but they're like "boffo!" And your like, "close enough, kid!"

Hank: That might be where it comes from.

Grace: I wish there was just an Italian little boy that started this trend.


Grace: See? It sounds just like it. Yeah, words. I never know. People are "living for" everything now?

Hank: "I live for that."

Grace: Yeah. People "live for that," or, they die.

Hank: Right.

Grace: So, I don't understand.

Hank: It's just like being hot and cool.

Grace: Yeah, I know. It's just extremes. We're just all extremists, I guess.

Hank: Either we live for it or we die. Yep. No, that makes sense.

Grace: Yeah. It's very Shakespearean of these days. Very Shakespearean.

  Question 1 (6:34

Hank: All right. Do you want to answer a question?

Grace: Yes! Kendall asks: "Dear Grace and Hank, if you were to create a hybrid of two animals, what would the two animals be, and what would you call your new species? smiley-face emoticon." Ooh. A hybrid of two animals.

Hank: What about like a scorpion.

Grace: No. Already vetoed. No.

Hank: And a pelican.

Grace: Can you imagine? A pelican...

Hank: A pelican front and a scorpion back. A "Scorpelican."

Grace: "Scorpelican." So basically we're just shipping animals right now. That's happening.

Hank: No. Well, I guess, 'cause you do have to get them together to make the hybrid thing.

Grace: To mate. In some way.

Hank: So, yeah, we are shipping animals.

Grace: Would you want, though, a pelican-sized scorpion tail? Isn't that where the poison is?

Hank: Yeah. No, I wouldn't, I don't... It's if you were to create. It doesn't mean that I want to have one in my life.

Grace: Oh. You just are fasci...

Hank: I just want to see it.

Grace: Okay, I get this game now. Okay, what would I... I think I'd want, like, an elephant seal, which, you know, Mamrie and I say that's kind of our spirit animal every now and then. An elephant seal, probably mixed with, like, I want to say, like an eagle.

Hank: "Elephant Seagle."

Grace: An "Elephant Seagle!"

Hank: That's a seagull, now. Darnit, that's just a mix of an elephant and a seagull.

Grace: That's just a giant seagull. We just created a giant seagull. I know, that's true. An elephant seal is essentially an elephant and a seal already come together. So I'm trying to make a hybrid of what is already a hybrid. I have to make something pure, okay.

Hank: No! An elephant seal is pure. You cant... Just because we thought that they looked like those two things...

Grace: I don't mean to offend all of you elephant seals that download this podcast on a weekly basis. I sincerely don't mean to polarize you. Okay, let me think of something that's, like, more of a pure... This is where I'm like "What are animals? What animals exist?" Oh! Well, hmm. Okay.See, I keep choosing, I want to say a sea otter, but then I'm like, "That's already a hybrid. That's like a seal and a dog got together and they made a sea otter". Which is like my favorite animal of all time.

Hank: So you want a seal and a dog to get together and make an animal, it just happens that that's already happened.

Grace: Yeah, I think maybe this is just leading me to believe that I just want a sea otter in my life at some point. Okay, what about a ladybug and a giraffe? So it would be like the teeny-tiniest little giraffe of all time.

Hank: With like a carapace, and it can fly.

Grace: Yeah! That sounds great.

Hank: A "ladybiraffe."

Grace: A "ladybiraffe." Rolls off the tongue. (Both laugh) A "ladyraffe." Yeah, sounds great. I'm into it. Or a "Girbug."

Hank: "Girbug."

Grace: "Girbug."

Hank: I was thinking of a gerbil when you said "girbug", I was like a bug gerbil.

Grace: I know, and then I started thinking "What could you put a gerbil with and make it more interesting". It's basically like what animal could you add to an animal to make it a more interesting or more useful animal.

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: This could go on for hours.

Hank: Can we just make an animal into something that would be a very nice mattress? If we could get enough animals combined so that it would be like a nice, warm, living mattress that just wouldn't bug me and I could just sleep on it. Cause I'm very tired right now.

Grace: I can tell. You want a living mattress? I don't think I... I mean, that's a water bed.

Hank: No. I mean there might be like things living in the water bed, but hopefully...

Grace: Have you ever had a water bed?

Hank: I've been on a water bed, but I've certainly never slept on one regularly.

Grace: No, I don't think I've ever slept on one, I've, like, laid on one but I don't think I've ever, like, slept a night.

Hank: I think I slept on one at, like, a sleepover once.

Grace: Yeah, that was like a childhood dream when I first found out that a water bed existed. I was like (gasps) and then I heard some crazy, like, possibly made up story that, like, someone drowned in their water bed. And then I was like, "No longer want! Or need!"

Hank: Pretty sure that was made up.

Grace: I know.

Hank: But you never know.

Grace: Jersey kids. We had to do something to occupy our time.

  Question 2 (10:47

Hank: OK, we got a question. This is from Aaron who asks: Dear Hank and Grace. I've recently moved to a small town for a job, where it seems like I don't have much in common with the locals. I'm a huge nerd and so far everyone I've met seems to only enjoy sports. I've been invited to many more basketball games than board games. In addition, I suffer pretty bad with social anxiety and I am an introvert and so I can't seem to muster up the courage or motivation to do something I just won't enjoy. How can I meet like minded people with similar interests?

Grace: There's a thing called the internet! I think that might be a helpful solution!

Hank: Just never leave the house.

Grace: Yeah, I think one, this isn't bad, like this is not a bad problem. And I've only recently resigned this in my brain for myself over the past couple years, that I used to think being an introvert was a bad thing. And it's not, it just means that you gather your energy when you're alone rather than socializing with other people. When you socialize it depletes your energy, and there are people that are extroverts that gain their energy from being around other people. And so I think acknowledging that you're an introvert is great, because then you have like, now...

Hank: Data

Grace: Yeah, on yourself, and you can figure out how to manage yourself in situations and knowing that you don't enjoy sports matches are great. I think this is really good deductive reasoning to get to the thing that you really want to do that you will enjoy. It's like when I look to order food and I don't know what I want I start thinking, what do I not want? And then I mark all those things off until I end up with, it's always sushi. I just always want sushi, all the time.

Hank: That's, yeah. You mark off pizza, before you get to sushi. Very Weird.

Grace: I do, the cheese, I can't do the cheese.

Hank: Mmm, I can do the cheese. Do you know, one time I used to dumpster dive in college. I used to eat a lot of food out of dumpsters and I...

Grace: Really? As, like, a personal choice or like a money saving thing?

Hank: As like a money saving thing, yeah.

Grace: OK

Hank: But also a personal choice.

Grace: OK.

Hank: And, like I could've made it work with buying food.

Grace: I was like, yeah, Ramen is very cheap.

Hank: One time, I was in the Pizza Hut dumpster, I think it was Pizza Hut, and I found... Often times there would be like, whole pizzas. But I found, just a huge, like, ten pound ball of like melted and then re-congealed cheese. Like they had put the bag of cheese too close to the oven and it had all melted and they couldn't sprinkle it on the pizza and so they just threw it away.

Grace: So it just looked like a rubber band ball?

Hank: It was just this giant...

Grace: And you took it?

Hank: Yeah and it was like, difficult to lift. I did take it, I did.

Grace: Well that, you know. So maybe that's a sport that you could get into, is dumpster diving for recently congealed cheese.

Hank: But I would say that I have also found that doing things, sometimes I surprise myself, that I enjoy them. And like, you know, like you sort of get to see, like what is it about this thing that people enjoy.

Grace: Right.

Hank: And I... T here are lots of different, like, I go to baseball games in my little town where there is, it's like the farm team for the farm team. They're not very good at the sport but they're much better than me. And they're all teenagers.

Grace: Sure.

Hank: And I, and like you know, you go and there's hot dogs.

Grace: Right.

Hank: And there's, you know.

Grace: Fresh air.

Hank: Yeah and you're outside. And there's people. And mostly it's a social experience. And it's sort of more social than going to a movie or something because there's a lot of sort of down time in which not too much is happening, especially in baseball. It's like "What is this? Why does he keep throwing it and nothing happens?"

Grace: I do enjoy baseball games, but every time I go to one, I think "Why? Why?"

Hank: Why is it this thing? This is just, it doesn't have that much going for it.

Grace: No, not at all, not at all. I also think, yeah, when you, if you try to think about a situation from a different point of view, you, like you said, can surprise yourself on what you might enjoy about it. Even if you start to find one small, like...

Hank: Even if it's just the hot dog. I go to baseball games and I almost always think to myself, "Well, I'm gonna get a hot dog. So that's not gonna be bad." 

Grace: Yeah, exactly, and it's always good to remember no matter what situation, whether you are going to a board game night or you are going to a soccer game, is to stay positive and open minded. This is something I have to remind myself all the time because I will, I'm also very socially anxious and an introvert. So when I go out, I already have, like, my radar out that I'm going to have a moment that I don't enjoy and I have to catch myself because that becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Hank: Right.

Grace: So if I think about things positively you can, like people have said, you can choose happiness, you can choose to be optimistic about the way you experience your life. And it changes a lot of things. Also, if you talk to some of those people that love sports, you might find that they also love the nerdy things that you are interested in as well. People can have a lot of different things that they like.

Hank: Totally. And if there's a game store in your town, I know this is terrifying, the idea of this is probably terrifying, it certainly would be terrifying to me. Going to a game store and being like "Hey, so anybody play games? I just, introduce me to some strangers and we can play some board games together." I would never do that, but it is a thing that exists.

Grace: It's a possibility.

Hank: People do do that.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: I have friends who do that. Like, they move to a new town, and they like, show, go to the game store and they're like, "Hey, any Magic: The Gathering tournaments?" And I'm like habuspacha.

Grace: I know!

Hank: So... But, I would, I will say that because something is scary doesn't necessarily mean that your body is telling you not to do it.

Grace: Right.

Hank: And I, you know, oftentimes the scary things end up being the most interesting and the most fun and where I learn the most about myself and about other people.

Grace: Yeah, I live by the philosophy of follow your fear. It's an improv philosophy, because, you know, doing improv on stage is inherently very terrifying-

Hank: Yeah, yeah.

Grace: -because you have no idea what's about to happen, and so you follow your fear because fear comes from a place where you're feeling this thing about something because you care about it. If you didn't care about it, there would be no feeling about it.

Hank: Mhmm, right.

Grace: But fear usually, usually comes from a place of care, and so when you follow it, it's really interesting to see where you find yourself. Sometimes it's not where you want to be, but sometimes it is, and so take a chance. You only live once, we're all gonna die someday, yay!

Hank: You're getting the hang of it!

Grace: I'm getting the hang of it!

Hank: Right away.

Grace: Mortality is looming around all of us.

  Question 3 (17:15

Grace: Should I read Isaac's question? 

Hank: Yeah, please.

Grace: Okay. Isaac asks, "Dear Grace and Hank. I want to study physics in college, however, I am quite sure that I will not get into Harvard or Yale or any really fancy school. Do you think it's still possible to make a contribution to the scientific community (this doesn't apply just to physics), without going to an incredibly challenging/expensive university? Thanks."

Hank: Yes. The answer to your question is yes. Most physicists didn't go to Harvard or Yale or any fancy school.

Grace: Yeah, most people that do really interesting things in a variety of fields didn't go to the greatest school for the thing that they've done something cool within.

Hank: Yeah, I mean, like, it's... There are advantages to going to fancy schools with big reputations and like, you know, it's nice to be able to be like, "I'm a Harvard physicist," and people will be like, "Yes, you are legit and that is clear to me from that, from those two words put together."

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: But, there are lots of schools where... I mean, I went to, I got my chemistry degree from a tiny liberal arts school where there were, in my year, four chemistry graduates.

Grace: Wow, really?

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: Jesus!

Hank: So I... And I got a great education, I learned a lot, I did applied research, I, you know, I, like, I, you know, smaller schools, you can get a lot more attention and really, until graduate school, it doesn't really matter that much if you're gonna be a physicist. Like, it, you know, it can, but like, you know, establishing yourself, like, there's a lot of different ways to do that and a lot of different ways, like, in undergrad to... And, yeah, it is not about what school you go to.

Grace: No, not at all. I went, I got my Communications degree from a small liberal arts college and when I first went, my first semester, I was like, so bummed by the school and the, you know, it had no notoriety behind it, that I started filling out transfer applications to NYU and to, you know, to Tisch, and all these schools in New York City that I thought were more legitimate and by default would make me a more legitimate communications major, and then I ended up staying at my school because I got a scholarship there and that's a good reason to stay, and I realized that the study, the individualized study that I got because it was such a small school was so much more meaningful in the long term of my career and world and trajectory than me being one of a billion kids at NYU trying to be a communications major. So yeah, eat
* NYU. Just kidding! Also, you can just buy the sweatshirt and no one will know that you didn't go to Harvard or Yale, so, it's okay. They sell the shirts everywhere.

  Question 4 (20:02

Hank: Elizabeth asks, "Dear Hank and Grace. I just recently graduated from college and I'm feeling highly anxious at the realization that I'm never going to live near all of my closest friends again, and at the prospect of making new friends and acting like an adult, so I've gotten so comfortable with my friends that I feel really uncomfortable around new people. Do you have any advice for dealing with the real world making of new friends/starting your new life as a "real person"?"

Grace: Woah. Well, just resign yourself to it. It's gonna be terrible.

Hank: It's funny, like, this question has a specific element, which is like, "I have to make new friends", and a nonspecific element of "I'm terrified of life".

Grace: Yeah, well, that's, you know, story of my life. 

Hank: Both of those things are real issues.

Grace: Well, that's... I lived for so long, and I wrote about this in my book - hey, book plug - I lived for so long believing that you could not make friends as an adult, I just cou... I thought that. I thought that you made your friends in like, your formative, like, adolescent years, and those were the friends that you just carried through life, and I didn't have a lot of friends when I was in, you know, middle school and high school and college, and so I would get really anxious and upset that I wasn't gonna have friends for the rest of my life, and then I got involved in activities like improv comedy and like, YouTube, and started becoming parts of communities, and within those communities, finding like-minded people that had my sense of humor and were interested in the same things that I was interested in, and me, you know, making a point to be open to having relationships with these people led me to some of the best friends that I have in my life right now, and so it's terrifying. It means you put yourself out there.

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: I mean, everyday, you could make a best friend, it's like finding a relationship, like finding a romantic relationship, you have to be open for it to be in your life.

Hank: Yeah, it's funny, 'cause we have all of this infrastructure around finding romance and like, all of this cultural stuff and baggage and like-

Grace: So many website.

Hank: -the procedure of dating and apps and just, all of these cultural institutions, but we don't really have that for friends.

Grace: No, no one teaches you how to make friends.

Hank: No, it's either like, it's this person who's next door to me in my dorm or the person, the people who like, were on my track team in high school or, you know, and like, and also like, I had... It's one of the crazy rewarding things for me about having hired a bunch of young people to help edit video and run businesses for me is that like, I've just watched them all become buds.

Grace: Yeah!

Hank: And they, like, go out and do stuff and play board games, and I'm like, I just like, I...

Grace: I did this! I did this for you!

Hank: I'll just like, poke my head in like, it'll be like 7:00 at night and I'll be leaving work and I'm like, why are there still people here? And I'll poke my head in there and there's like, in the studio, like, they've got the board, like the table set up and this huge board game and I'm like, "What are you nerds doing?"

Grace: And they're like, "Dad, get out of here! Stop embarrassing us!" Yeah, it's, yeah. There's so many... I think I've learned, this is so sad, when I was in college, I remember freshman year of college, I had such a bad adjustment to college and I didn't make like, any friends and I was so, like, depressed and sad and anxious and I remember going to the like, I guess just a general area where there's all these bulletin boards and clubs put up their fliers for everything, 'cause I remember the night before, laying in bed, thinking to myself on a very sincere level, "How do you make friends? How do you break it down? How do you do this?"

Hank: "Give me the right words to say."

Grace: Exactly! Like, what is the process? And so, my thinking and like trying to analyze it led me to believe that I should put myself in clubs where there are people that could potentially be friends, and so I went the next day and stood in front of the bulletin board and looked at all these like, clubs and like, thought to myself, like, which would be, make the most sense for me to join, and I joined one, like, volunteer like, activism-ish type of club, I don't even remember what it was, I showed up and there were like, three people there, and they were all just doing it so they could have this club on their resume and I was like, "Well, this totally failed," and then I would go back like, to my drawing board in my dorm room and be like, now what do I do? Oh. I guess I should get some hobbies and a job. A job you make friends at. You have fellow, like, co-workers, and so I got a job. Yeah, it's, you just have to, like, constantly put yourself out there.

Hank: Yeah, I, it's... I'd say that, you know, most of my friends I made in school, like, even now, 'cause I went to grad school in the place where I currently live and so a lot of my grad school friends still live there and... Oh God, it's so ha... And like, when I look at how those friendships formed, it had a lot to do with like, one or two really like, intentional people, who were like, "We're gonna become friends. We're gonna do activities." And like, really, like, guilting people into doing stuff, because we were all like, "I just wanna sit at home."

Grace: Well, yeah!

Hank: And also being like, "Look, I'll pay. I'll like, it'll be my car, I'll get the gas", like, really like, lowering, and like, I'm so thankful to those people, and like, you can't like, intentionally find one of those people, but you could potentially intentionally become one of those people.

Grace: Yes.

Hank: And like, if you can find a group of people who are like, just like you, where they're like, sort of, be like, "Look, let's go karaoke. It's gonna be dumb."

Grace: Right, and it's an activity. We don't have to talk to each other the whole time. We can like, ease into this friendship and getting to know each other thing.

Hank: Sit around and just watch other people make fools of themselves.

Grace: Right.

Hank: You don't even have to do it.

Grace: Exactly. It is true, because there... Being friends with someone is work. Friendships are work. You, I'm one of those, I'm a beta personalty, so I'm not an alpha, I don't take charge and plan things and organize events and like, rally people together, but I make really good friends with alphas because of that factor that I need someone like that to do that for me, but there have been times in my life where I've been like, "I really like that person. Grace, just ask them to hang out with you, like, just ask them!" And I'm like, "Oh God, what if I ask them and they say no," and it's like, "Then they say no! You continue both living your lives and you ask again at another point."

Hank: Yeah, it's weird, I remember... So once I had, once Katherine and I were pretty, well, we weren't married yet, but we were real, real close, we were in that trajectory, I think it was clear by that point, we went out and like, we met a couple of new people who were friends of friends, and like, we went home and we were like, "I really like them."

Grace: I know! When you like, couple date?

Hank: Yeah! And it was like, "What's ha... Like, is the, this seems like, I feel like a have a crush on the couple."

Grace: Yeah, yeah, exactly! 

Hank: And it's like, the, there's like a, looking at this, I'm like, what a, like, nerdy 27 year old thing, like, stable relationship thing to feel, like.

Grace: I know.

Hank: 2Oh, we can watch old movies with them."

Grace: Right. "We can do activities together". But then you would think, like, oh, we have conversations like this because we've both had those feelings that think about every other person that's having those same feelings.

Hank: Right, yeah.

Grace: And someone else that's waiting on the other end of the line hoping that you will ask them to hang out, and like, you'd be surprised, it's like, these all kind of have, like, a running theme of like, putting yourself out there and following your fear into a place that might be really beneficial for yourself.

Hank: Offer to cook them dinner.

Grace: Ooh, that's a good...

Hank: It's a really good one.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: 'Cause then they come over to your place, and like, you're comfortable there, but like, you're doing them a favor, so they feel like they kind of like, it's okay to like, get out of their comfort zone a little.

Grace: Totally.

Hank: Or make them cook you dinner.

Grace: Okay.

Hank: Just be like, "Hey, can you cook me dinner?"

Grace: Hey, I think you're great. Would you cook me dinner so that we can become best friends I, yeah. Like there's something like that, like... Or even if it's like, like a couple wanting to hang out with another couple, I think activities like, you know, a taco night or something where everyone can be involved in doing something while having conversation and like, eating, drinking, whatever, being social, it's always helpful to just have an activity so that people don't feel totally uncomfortable with themselves.

Hank: Right, which is why board games exist.

Grace: Yes, that's true.

Hank: This is why nerds love board games so much, it's so that we can hang out with people without interacting.

Grace: I know that game. Okay.

 Question 5 (28:40)

Hank: I'm gonna go to Rosie 'cause I skipped her.

Grace: Go to Rosie?

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: Okay. Rosie asks, "Dear Grace and Hank. I am an aspiring writer and filmmaker, but it seems as if everyone I meet who is aspiring to do those same things are more talented and better situated to succeed. Should I keep trucking on or do I attempt to find a more sustainable career path that might not be my "dream". Any advice? How did you motivate yourselves when you were starting out?" Whoof.

Hank: Whoof.

Grace: Whoofy-doofy, wowee-zowee.

Hank: I, yeah. I feel like all things that you could be doing with your time are training for being a writer and filmmaker. If you want that thing, you can be doing anything, because writing is all about empathy, understanding people, understanding yourself, and being able to like, put down words that other people will enjoy and that you will know that they will enjoy it without having them look at it first.

Grace: Yeah, and also, there's... I can say that I have constant self-doubt that I'm not good at what I'm doing and everyone else around me is much more suited for this, so I should be doing something else. At the end of the day, you have to, like, analyze what it is that you're doing and does it make you happy? Do you enjoy it? Does it financially, you know, does it... Can you make money doing it? Can you be...

Hank: Yeah. Support yourself.

Grace: Yeah, can you have a stable life with this both emotionally and financially, and you... But if it doesn't, if you actually think this is... 'Cause there's been moments in my life where I thought my dream job was something, and then when I analyzed it, I realized no, I actually, that's not my dream. I've always said that that's my dream, but it's really not, so this might be a moment in which you analyze this and you don't want to do writing or filmmaking, or you do. And if you do, you just keep going, because I always say when I get asked about making web videos and like, building your brand online, that it's consistency over time, and you really have to be dedicated, and for me, it's taken a long time to realize that not having overnight success is the most beneficial thing.

Hank: Oh yeah.

Grace: Because that's such a stressful thing.

Hank: So hard.

Grace: I mean, like, I always say kudos to Jenna Marbles for really truly being able to you know, build off of a viral video and create and sustain a brand, but it's so hard to do that, and it doesn't happen very easily.

Hank: Yeah, and it can be really emotionally awful, like, it can be so, such a... You don't know what is, you don't know what your goals are, it's just this thing that's happening to you, and then there are lots of people who are trying to turn you into something valuable for them.

Grace: Yeah, absolutely.

Hank: Which is why it's really nice to have a nice, slow, uphill.

Grace: Yeah, it makes you appreciate it, because you have, you have moments of minor success that make you appreciate bigger successes in your life so much more, and I always think that it's, it's really, it's good to not believe that you're the absolute best at something, because it keeps...

Hank: Oh, God, does anybody think that?

Grace: And you know, that always makes... When someone is, you know, like, "I'm #1, I'm this", and like, has that kind of elitist mentality, I get so anxious for them, because my parents have really instilled a level of humility in me as a human being and I feel like if I ever begin to believe that I'm the best at something, I need to stop doing that thing, because I will become a monster-

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: -and so, thinking that you're not the greatest is kind of good to keep you balanced.

Hank: You're alw... Yeah, I don't know anyone who really feels that way. I think some people maybe project that in order to like...

Grace: Mask insecurity?

Hank: "I'm crushing it," but I think, you know, nobody thinks that they are, like, I have always, like, I was just at this, you know, YouTube conference for educational content creators, and I'm in this room with like, the Jim Henson company and Sesame Street, and all, you know, like, really old school brands that make really amazing things that I'm so enamored of and like, of course, like, I kind of look at it and I'm like, "What am I doing here and why am I even try... Like, I should be working for one of these companies, not trying to do my own thing" like, if that's even possible, and... But at the same time, it's like, "I like the thing I do, and maybe, and like, they seem to think that I am good at it."

Grace: I think Kermit the Frog just showed up next to you and sang Over the Rainbow together.

Hank: So I, yeah. I think everybody always feels like a little bit of a faker, I've always felt like a little bit of a faker.

Grace: Yeah, 'cause none of us actually know what we're doing in this whole universe and everything.

Hank: But the thing that is great about, you know, what Rosie's thinking about as a career is that creating is really valuable whether or not it's your career or not, and I know a lot of people who are able to and are really rewarded by the things that they make, despite the fact that like, you know, this isn't something that they make money off of.

Grace: No, it's... And I've always kept myself in check in that am I doing this for only financial reasons right now?

Hank: Right.

Grace: If I am, I can go wait tables and make money, like, what am I doing this for? Am I doing it because this is something I'm actually passionate about and really enjoy and am proud of the content that I'm creating? In terms of her asking about motivating yourself, when you're starting out, I think there's a couple different ways that I motivate myself, and one is when I'm feeling not inspired, not the best, feeling like a poser, feeling like I'm not good at what I'm doing, I submerge myself in people that I think are doing it really well. I remember starting out and watching Colleen do Miranda Sings, and just feeling this, like, inspiration of "This is the funniest thing. I want to do stuff like this and like, let that inspire me and infuse into like, the way I make videos" and every time that I start to have one of those dips where like, I'm creatively tapped out right now, I'll just go and watch videos or movies or read books about, from people that I think are really creative and are at the level that I hope to be at someday. I also create in other areas, like I'm supposed to be writing my second book right now, and I am so hitting a wall with it that I just went and bought some shirts and some transferable paper and some paint pens the other day, and I made myself some t-shirts all day the other day, and I felt really good after that, because creativity kind of lends itself to other forms of creativity, and so, it sounds like you're a creative person and maybe you will get reinspired by kind of doing something else that's creative that gives your brain a second away from the writing and the filmmaking. Get some beads, make some bracelets, see what happens.

Hank: Here's a really awful thing about me.

Grace: Uh-oh!

Hank: I... So I've made a lot of stuff in my life.

Grace: Okay.

Hank: And sometimes when I'm feeling like I suck and I'm not good at anything, I will go and watch old me videos-

Grace: Oh, okay, yeah.

Hank: -or old, like, read old Hank essays, and be like, that was funny.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: That's a funny guy. He's pr... So I feel like if you make stuff, you can like, at least, like s... I mean, and, of course, sometimes, I watch an old Hank video and I'm like, "That was awful."

Grace: Sure, oh yeah.

Hank: "What the heck was goin' on that week?" But I'm really, you know, like, if you... The more stuff you make, the more stuff that you make that you actually end up being proud of, and if you can be proud of something that you made, it's a lot harder to get down on yourself about it.

Grace: Yeah, I mean, I'm awful too. I do that same thing, 'cause there's a handful of videos and a handful of like, live performances that I've done in my life that I'm really, really proud of, and think like, "Good job, old me, you really were creative and I don't know where that came from" Who is that person that's being so like, free and clever and interesting and yeah. And so, that's, it's also really motivating.

Hank: And it's hard to, and you can't cultivate those things, and you can't have those special moments where you like, sort of exceed your own expectations of yourself unless you try a bunch, like, it's gonna be 10% of the time that you actually make something that you're like, you know, years later, you'll be like, "Wow. Am I that good? Can I really, can I write that well?"

Grace: And then when you're done with your existential crisis about who you are based on who you were, maybe you'll find some sort of inspiration there. Yeah, it's...

Hank: It's never too deep here on Dear Hank and John.

Grace: No! We're all gonna die someday. That's how I answer every question. That's also how I motivate myself a lot of the time. It sounds so insane, but we were on set, Hannah Hart and I were on set shooting Electra Woman and Dyna Girl and we had a couple days where we had to do some really intense scenes with each other and we would like... Hannah was having trouble one day doing this like, really intense fight scene that we had to do with each other and I literally, right before the take, just whispered to her, "We're all gonna die someday, so why not

* try something interesting in this take" and then like, walked away, and afterwards, she was like, "Dude, that really helped! I just was like, yeah, screw all these people watching me, like, we're all gonna be dead so I may as well try and do something that I think is really interesting and totally cool and free out of my brain..."

Hank: YOLO!

Grace: Yeah, exactly! I mean, to quote the great philosopher Drake, "You only live once," yeah.

 Question 6 (38:22)

Hank: Cassie asks, "Dear Hank and Grace. What TV show would you go back in time to be in?"

Grace: Hmm. What, do you have one?

Hank: No.

Grace: No, not at all? Or you need time to think?

Hank: Oh, I'll, gi... yeah.

Grace: I, my instinct, like, my initial response is Friends because...

Hank: You would be so great on Friends! Oh my... That makes me sad, just thinking about it!

Grace: Well, one, for a practical reason, because they got a two bedroom apartment in the Lower East Side and they were both broke, and how the, that doesn't happen in New York at all, so they lived in some wonderful, beautiful fantasy place. Two, I think that Phoebe is one of the funniest female characters on TV that's so underrated.

Hank: It's so funny, when I watched Friends as a kid, I hated Phoebe.

Grace: Right.

Hank: And going back, she's the only character I actually like that I would, like, wanna hang out with.

Grace: Yeah!

Hank: The rest of them are kind of awful.

Grace: Yeah, the rest of them are very narcissistic.

Hank: Yeah, super, yes. She's the only one who's not like, and she's a bit of a narcissist.

Grace: But she's completely self-aware about it.

Hank: Yeah, yeah.

Grace: In this bizarre, floaty like, hippie ethereal thing, but she's, yeah. I think she's one of the funniest TV characters.

Hank: She's so funny.

Grace: Especially as a female that you look back on. And they all were great, like, that's like, that show you can watch...

Hank: Yeah, yeah, that show is fantastic. I watched, I just recently re-watched the whole thing and I was like, "Oh, that's why this was so popular."

Grace: Exactly. You can watch any episode at any time without any context before or after of the storyline and laugh within 30 seconds at someone. So that's my initial answer.

Hank: So would you wanna be a main character on Friends or do you wanna like, just sort of show up?

Grace: I think I'd like to be like, a Gunther.

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: You know, that's like, there all the time, that's just, like, in the background and has a couple, like, moments, but gets to like, have craft services in between takes. Yeah. Yeah, I think something like that.

Hank: I was, my... I would love to have been on Star Trek: The Next Generation. I just, like, put me in Ferengi make up and make me spout about capitalism, I would love that.

Grace: That... Was Whoopi Goldberg on that?

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: Yeah, I watched, I was there with Hannah...

Hank: She was like the Gunther of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Grace: Yeah, well, because she asked, she basically asked for a part on the show. She told it to Hannah when Hannah interviewed her in New York, she's like... It's LeVar Burton that's on there?

Hank: Mhmm.

Grace: Yeah, that he was saying, you know, or she was, they were having a conversation about there wasn't enough African Americans in the sci-fi genre, and so, he was like, "Why don't you just ask?" And so she like, called up the creators and was like, "Give me a part", and they were like, "What do you want to be?"

Hank: She's like, "Bartender". Sure, why not?

Grace: Which I thought was so cool, you're like, God, you've just always been powerful, haven't you, Whoopi?

Hank: Seriously, and I was the... But when the question, when you first looked at me and said, "Do you have an answer for this?" my thought was Twin Peaks.

Grace: Oh, see, I've never seen Twin Peaks.

Hank: OH MY GOD!

Grace: I know, sorry, out the window.

Hank: WHAT!?

Grace: I need, I need that window. Here's my, okay. Here's my association with Twin Peaks. When I was in college, the first friends that I did make freshman year were the Bulgarian transfer students that lived on my floor that were all computer science majors, and they lived there all year round, because they didn't go back home to Bulgaria, and they were obsessed with Twin Peaks.

Hank: It's so good!

Grace: They used to sit in the common lounge and watch it on TV all together, 'cause none of them had TVs in their dorm room, and it was hilarious. They loved it so, so much. But yeah, I know.

Hank: You should watch Tw... It's on Netflix now. It is.

Grace: There's only two seasons, right?

Hank: Yeah, it's like one and a half.

Grace: Oh wow.

Hank: It's... The first season is a master, like, it is one of the best things that happened on TV.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: It's amazing.

Grace: Have they tried to bring it back?

Hank: Yeah, there was... In fact, it may be coming back, but Lynch had to back out because of like, some drama...

Grace: You heard it here first! Oh.

Hank: So like the guy who created it isn't working on the reboot right now, which is...

Grace: Well, that's a bummer.

Hank: Disappointing.

Grace: You know what's a show that I would love to be on? Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Hank: Oh wow, that would be fun.

Grace: Can you imagine just you and a bunch of robots?

Hank: Yeah. I, y... Those guys are like, super active in the nerd community, I'm like...

Grace: Are they?

Hank: I'm like, very...

Grace: That's...

Hank: I don't think I've ever hung out with any of them, but I hang out with lots of people who hang out with them, so if you ever wanna hang out with them-...

Grace: Oh my God, my brothers would, like, die.

Hank: They're very funny people.

Grace: To quote the youth culture. They would live for that. I, yeah. That was one of my first, like, forays as a little girl into comedy. My older brother used to watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 and he would put it on and we'd all have to watch it, and I didn't understand it at all, but I would laugh whenever he laughed, and then as I got older, it was like, "Oh, that was really funny, that concept is just such a ridiculously absurd concept".

Hank: Yeah, there's a YouTube show called Welcome to the Basement, which is like Mystery Science Theater, except it's sort of bookended by more serious commentary about the movie.

Grace: Oh, okay.

Hank: But they watch old movies and like, then, in the middle, they sort of like, just take clips from the movie, like, the funniest moments.

Grace: Sure.

Hank: That, their funniest moments, not the show's, but it is, it's like a distilled Mystery Science Theater.

Grace: That's great.

Hank: It's so fun. I'll give you the link.

Grace: Please do!

 Question 7 (43:31)

Hank: Yeah. There was a question that... Oh, wait, let me see how long we've been going.

Grace: Oh, yeah.

Hank: Oh, we've been going for 1400 measures.

Grace: Whoa! I don't know what that means!

Hank: Okay, yeah. I... There was a question that I didn't put in that mostly I just want to ask you this question.

Grace: Uh-oh.

Hank: It was such a good question, but it felt very sort of vain.

Grace: Okay.

Hank: Because it's sort of just a question that I want to talk with you about, but I don't necessarily think that other people would necessarily care about, but how do you decide what opportunities to take, 'cause lots of people come a-knocking, and like, I imagine there is a number of no's that come out of the mouth of the Helbig.

Grace: Um, well, I come from, you know, the comedy world background where YouTube wasn't going to be my job, I was auditioning for a TV film, so there's... You learn a sense of hustle that you say yes to everything, because you have no idea which, you know, friend's pilot or which, you know, co-worker's web short is gonna be seen by who and then lead to what, so you... And also, the general rule in improv is to say "yes, and..." and so, I've only recently learned about saying no, being okay. I have, for so long, been the person that says yes to everything and then freaks out that I can't do everything and then deals with my internal anxiety of having to potentially let someone down by not doing something, and now I've learned that it is much better for myself and for that person if I just say no outright than "Yes, but..." in the long run. So, I, now, the way that I measure... I still have a lot of that mentality of wanting to be able to do everything and help everyone and it probably comes from just, like, a deep-seated emotional place of just wanting everyone to like me.

Hank: Right, yeah.

Grace: But, with opportunities, I have also never had a plan, I've never had a five-year plan, a one-year plan, I've been thinking about...

Hank: Six-hour plan.

Grace: Yeah, I live in, like, 15 minute time frames, and I've been thinking about getting a plan, but I don't know if that's just my style, I don't know if it works for me, so I say yes to things based on a lot of gut reaction. I think about... I really, really, really and have since day one of making web videos, put myself in the audience's shoes. Is this book I'm writing, is this movie we're shooting, is this video I'm making something I would want to read or watch or share? And so, if it is, then that's a no-brainer. A lot of times, I have to really think about it, and really try and separate myself and are the people involved in this good people? When we were making the television show, my biggest kind of grounding philosophy on hiring people was "no dicks". I just, I didn't, I can't, I'm very passive and I just wanted to work in an environment with people that said yes, people that liked what they were doing, people that were actually having a good time, and so that's kind of my gauge, what's yours?

Hank: Um. Yeah, it's a gut thing for me mostly. It's like, since I live in Montana-

Grace: Right.

Hank: -it's like, I'm a default no, which I think weeds out a lot of people from even asking.

Grace: Well, that's good.

Hank: But I have a lot going on, esp... Like, in the studio, I have to be doing SciShow and Crash Course all the time, and I have people relying on me to run the business and to make the content so that they can do their jobs, and so that is a huge limiting factor, so I've, I basically don't say yes unless I think it's a good thing for the world or if it's gonna make me, make, it's gonna make me do something really cool that I wouldn't have done otherwise.

Grace: Oh, cool.

Hank: Or it's gonna make me feel really good, like, it's gonna, like, if, like I had an asteroid mining company be like, "Do you want to promote our Kickstarter with Brent Spiner from Star Trek: The Next Generation?" and I was like, "Yes, I want to do that, I do want to do that".

Grace: Yes to all of those words.

Hank: Yes. Can you give me a certificate saying I did that?

Grace: Right?

Hank: And like, at an Air and Space Museum, it was like, livestream from under a giant airplane, it was amazing.

Grace: Jeez, that's cool.

Hank: So I, yeah. It's, it's kind of like I'm a little ashamed for it to be about, like, is this gonna be a really super cool experience?

Grace: Right.

Hank: Like going to France with Katherine and like, yeah.

Grace: Yeah, I mean it... That's when, you know, Mamrie Hart and I did this travel series at the end of last summer called Hey USA, and it was a series that just developed out of a really organic idea that we travel so much, we should have a sloppy travel show and just happen to off-handedly mention that in a meeting with a company about something else and they love that idea and it just developed in front of us, and then we both said yes to it because of the experience. Now, looking back on all of the things that we did in the time, it was really fun, but it was also really stressful, because it was so much travel in a short period of time, but in hindsight, the experiences we had would never have happened to us otherwise, and...

Hank: Yeah. I was jealous watching that show. You guys looked like you had a lot of cool experiences.

Grace: There might be a Season 3 so, there might be an opportunity.

Hank: There might be amightbeathingthemina...

Grace: You know, we tried so hard Season 1 to get them to send us to Montana so that could hang out with you.

Hank: Yeah, I remember.

Grace: Yeah, and then they were like, "Um, so we realize we can't do an entire episode where you just hang at your friend Hank's house all weekend."

Hank: There's stuff to do!

Grace: I know, dig deeper.

Hank: I could take you out for pizza, we could go bowling.

Grace: My question to you, is there something out there that you haven't been asked to do yet that you really like, hope? Is there, like...

Hank: Oh. Kind of.

Grace: Yeah?

Hank: I like to give talks.

Grace: Oh, cool.

Hank: I... And, but I only like to give talks, like, I don't like to be paid.

Grace: Sure.

Hank: That makes sense. That makes perfect sense, Hank, of course.

Grace: All of these ears perk up, I'm like, "He likes to give talks without financial gain. Ahh, well, we have an auditorium for you!"

Hank: But I like, I never have time to do it. I've been asked to give commencement speeches several times, and I've like, always wanted to, but never can.

Grace: Oh, that's cool.

Hank: I just never, like, it's... I mean, I saw, I watched yours.

Grace: Yeah, it was one, that was a thing that came up that I was afraid of it, but I was like, "No, I should just do this, this sounds..." and I didn't get paid for it, and that was the thing online, everyone was like, "I'm pretty sure she got paid for it", and I was like, "Absolutely not. That was my college that I went to and it just seemed like such a cool honorable thing to do."

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: Yeah, and so I always like, so like, sometimes, like, make, like, I'll like get that bug out to like, make a video to the people who are graduating, I've done that several times now, and so ... But I kinda would want to, like, I give, I've given a couple of sort of TED style talks, which I really enjoy doing, and I also like, there's a part of me that wants to host a science series whether that's like, mini-docs or a TV thing, but like, I would, I just... I like, the, my fav... some of my favorite things in the world are like, nerds talking about science and being excited about it, which is what I do on the internet a lot.

Grace: That's cool. Right, right.

Hank: But doing that in like, a, like, a high-budget situation would be really cool.

Grace: That sounds cool.

Hank: But a huge amount of work, because I would not just, I would not let that be like, you write all the words down and then I say them, like, it would have to be something that I...

Grace: Right. You'd want to be really involved.

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: Yeah. That sounds really cool. It feels like that can be something that happens in the future.

Hank: Yeah.

Grace: Who knows?

Hank: Who knows?

Grace: Thoughts are things, it's now in the universe, so if The Secret really works, it's gonna happen. That's what my mom's told me.

Hank: Thoughts are things, is that a phrase that I've just never heard?

Grace: Thoughts are things, thoughts are things, I think that's in The Secret a whole bunch where it's like, if you think it and you put it out there, then it exists and it grows into something in the universe. My mom tried to make me listen to The Secret on tape with her one time, and it's just so many gong noises that I checked out. Yeah.

Hank: That's not, that's not, I don't think that's my bag. Alright, that was our last question, Grace. Oh my God, it...

Grace: Time is an illusion.

Hank: You're really good at this!

Grace: I know, I'm just getting out all of my deep
* right here so that I can go back to my podcast and talk about pants pooping stories.

Hank: Oh, God, I'm so sad that I'm not gonna be on Not Too Deep this time, because I want to tell you my pants pooping stories.

Grace: I know! Next time, save it. Save it.

Hank: I've got it all ready.

Grace: Oh, I can't wait.

 News from AFC Wimbledon (52:20)

Hank: So it is time for the news now, though, do you have any news from AFC Wimbledon?

Grace: Blah blah de bloop, football bloopy striker, the Dons. AFC Wimbledon, that's the, um, the thing, over in Europe.

Hank: Well, alright.

Grace: Is it, it's the football?

Hank: Yeah, it's John's football team.

Grace: Yeah, that you guys sponsor, yeah, yeah, yeah. He talked about it when he was on the television show and he said that, 'cause I asked, like, "How was the team doing, where are they in the ranking?" And he said you guys moved into another league? Something like that?

Hank: I don't think, once upon a time, they moved into another league, they didn't do that this year.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: They. but they are not leaving this league, which... A weird thing about English soccer which I never, like, this doesn't matter at all.

Grace: Sure.

Hank: To you or anyone, as far as...

Grace: Okay.

Hank: But, there are a bunch of different leagues and unlike in American sports where a player just sort of rises the ranks, a whole team can rise up the ranks. So if you're in like the top three spots of League 2, then the next year, you're in League 1 and then if you're in the top 2 or 3 spots in that league, then you rise up again and then, but if you're in the bottom two or three, then you drop leagues, and that's a huge deal, like, 'cause you lose a bunch of money, you lose a bunch of sponsorships, you like, you aren't in the game FIFA anymore.

Grace: It's very embarrassing. Oh my God, David Beckham looks down on you.

Hank: He does.

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: He does that anyway, though.

Grace: Yeah, he does, he's so tall! Yeah, I don't know much about European football, but I went and saw my first like, real, real match two years ago or a year ago and I loved it. The environment, I mean, talk about the antithesis of a baseball game.

Hank: Yes.

Grace: It's so much fun. Everyone knows these cheers and they know so many of them. I think I watched Carthage play, oh, I don't remember the name, it'll come to me later, but they, the fans were going nuts. They're standing the entire time, how they all knew, it was probably like 20 or 30 original cheers that they were doing throughout this entire match, and the kids are doing it, it's like, a lot of dads and sons and it was really, really fun.

Hank: I want to see this like, a sociological study of the evolution of a football chant.

Grace: Right?

Hank: Like, somebody has to come up with that.

Grace: I know!

Hank: But then it has to spread around, and so they're like, you like, I want to see like, the guys at the bar who are all like, "Okay, the guy's name that we want to make the chant about, his name is Jeremy Williams, so what rhymes with Williams?"

Grace: I know! Wha... Yeah, exactly, they're all on trying to come up with their cheers. 

Hank: Just like, at the bar on their iPhones, rhymezone.

Grace: Yeah, I would love that. Bet there's one guy that just goes home every week and like, tests out new cheers. That would be so great.

Hank: Alright.

Grace: So what is the news?

 News from Mars (55:08)

Hank: The news from Mars is that it looks like Mars might have been a lot more icy than we previously believed. According to a new study that used atmospherics models to study how water would have moved between Mars' surface and its atmosphere, lead investigator Robin Wordsworth ran a number of models at different temperatures and the model that most closely modeled the eroded features of Mars was the cold model, where all the surface was ice water, icy wa... where all the surface water was ice, and that... Many of Mars' surface features are better explained by ice than by running water, though there is other evidence showing clear signs of liquid water. This is a sign that Mars may have spent more time as a snowball than as a water world.

Grace: Wow. They watched the movie Frozen on Mars and it got trendy.

Hank: Maybe it was Elsa.

Grace: That's where Elsa lives.

Hank: It's probably El... Oh! That makes so much sense.

Grace: Right?

Hank: 'Cause there's that, like, weird snowman guy, which probably couldn't have happened on Earth.

Grace: Oh my God, he's probably actually a Mars, you know, native species.

Hank: He's probably a native species of Mars. Now it all makes sense.

Grace: Frozen is just a, you know, an educational tool about the solar system. We're learning so much!

 Conclusion (56:19)

Hank: So that's it for this episode of Dear Hank and John, guest hosted by Grace Helbig without John.

Grace: Yaaay! Sorry, John, you've been replaced.

Hank: Grace is the creator of, and a wonderful podcast Not Too Deep, available here, wherever you're listening to this. Also of Grace's Guide, available wherever books are sold.

Grace: Yes.

Hank: And also The Grace Helbig Show on E! Is that coming back?

Grace: Yes. Um, it's, probably... I can't talk about it, it's in a hiatus mode right now, so it's sleeping.

Hank: I probably can't talk about it. Yeah. Okay.

Grace: We'll see if it wakes up.

Hank: Okay.

Grace: It's in a coma and we don't know.

Hank: It's a sleepy show.

Grace: Yeah, it could go either way at this point.

Hank: Which more people should have watched.

Grace: Yeah, well.

Hank: You should get off your damn computers.

Grace: Talk about a real lesson in the way the media is going, like, you guys listen to this podcast, I mean, it's really hard to get you guys to turn on a television, and I can't be upset, because I don't do it either.

Hank: Yeah, and also a number of other amazing things that you just are always doing.

Grace: Always doing things!

Hank: Camp Takota, Hey USA.

Grace: Hey USA.

Hank: Collabing with every single YouTuber.

Grace: Electra Woman and Dyna Girl.

Hank: Oh, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl!

Grace: Yeah.

Hank: Whoo!

Grace: Yeah, a lot of really cool, exciting things.

Hank: Many, many things. Our theme bus... Our theme busic. Our theme music is by Gunnarolla, the podcast is edited by Nicholas Jenkins, if you have any questions for us, you can send them to and as we say in our hometown, Don't Forget to Be Awesome.

Grace: That felt very powerful.