They're pretending that the Washington Monument is a bridge and that they're walking up it.
Paul: On it? on it.
Hank: On it.
Paul: Through it, (?) to it.
Hank: Through it.
Mike: We're walking to freedom.
Hank: Is that where freedom is?
Chyna: Liberty!
Katherine: (?) inferno! (Hank laughs)
Paul: Liberty and pain go hand in hand.
Katherine: Hooray!
Mike: That's where the first space-elevator will be. (?)
Hank: Free shoes!? Are they George Washington's shoes?
Andrew: Oh, what?
Mike: Whoah. Some Air Jordan's
Hank: Jordan's? They're not in bad shape. They lost their laces, though.
Mike: They smell pretty funky. (they laugh)
Paul: Nine, size nine. Anyone?
Andrew: I actually am a size nine. Are you offering to take them? Are they that smelly?
Mike: Well, smell them.
Hank: (?)
Andrew: I mean they're pretty old. I've never had Air Jordans before. I don't know if that's really my style, but... it's just free shoes! I'm gonna leave them for someone who needs them more.
Hank: Are you a size nine?
Andrew: They fit me perfectly.
Paul: I'm a size nine, too.
Andrew: But they're not my uh, not exactly my style.
~~~
Hank: I c-- I've never been to the Washington Monument with no one else around.
Katherine: Yeah. It's weird.
Mike: This is the best time.
Paul: This is the best time to see the monuments
Katherine: So sharp!
Hank: The Lincoln Memorial.
~~~
Paul: Holy crap, that's a rat that I kicked.
Hank: You kicked a rat?!
Joe: You kicked a rat? (all laugh)
Paul: I think so. I think it ra--it must have like, stormed out of, as we walked by the--the trash, it must have stormed out and it ran into my foot.
Andrew: Aw, man.
Paul: Kicked a rat.
Everyone (chanting): Kicked a rat, kicked a rat, kicked a rat.
Paul: That's our new song. Kicked a rat. I'm not sure it was a rat, but I'm gonna go with rat, because if it was a bunny, I'd feel bad.
Katherine: Yeah, it could have been a bunny.
~~~
Hank: Walkin' up the stairs to see our 16th president, the reuniter of our nation, the freer of slaves, Abraham Lincoln. (Katherine sighs) He's looking pretty good, I must be honest. Very distinguished. Yeah. Yeah, temple, I like that they call it a temple.
Katherine: Avert your eyes.
Hank: Oh, you're not allowed to look at him? Oh, somebody left a flower.
Katherine: What do you think?
Tessa (?): You can't look up unless he give you permission. (they laugh)
Hank: I was looking right up. I figured, you know, like, supplication, but also equality.
(whispering)
Lincoln: Hank Green. (Hank laughs)(?) Can I have a picture with you? (all laugh)
Hank: Oh, Andrew, don't laugh too loud. That'll echo for like 25 minutes.
~~~
I just recorded the intro for this video here at the Lincoln Memorial and while I was doing it I interrupted a couple that was making out on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, but it didn't seem like I should mention that during the intro, but now I want to mention it now. I just caught a couple people making out, Joe.
Joe: It's a great date spot.
Hank: It's a totally great date stop, but I was like--
Joe: They're making-- they're forming a union.
Hank: I was loudly recording my podcast intro just now and I walked around a corner and there were a couple people makin' out.
Katherine: Oh shit.
Hank: Yeah.
Katherine: What were they doing?
Hank: They were making out.
Katherine: Why are they doing it here?
Hank: They were between the big pillars. I don't know, it's kind of inspirational.
Katherine: No. Yeah, but no.
Hank: It makes you feel, your heart gets bigger, and you're like, you know, I'm gonna love the things I love even more than I usually love them.
Katherine: [raspberry].
Hank (laughing) Let the record show that Katherine says pfft.
Katherine: No, I said [raspberry].
~~~
We will touch him.
Joe: (?-12:30) His face, let's shine up that face.
Hank: Nobody touches his face
Katherine: Yeah, sweet sweet Franklin.
Paul: really shiny glasses
Katherine: Sweet Franklin.
Hank: "Nobody touches my face anymore."
Paul: Kiss him!
Tessa (?): Wait, I want to photo (?)
Katherine: Really buff those glasses up.
Hank: people touch his hat a lot, though, but never his face.
Katherine: They're being respectful.
Hank: Touch his lips and nose.
several people: Touch his face.
Hank: Touch his face, I feel like my fingers are getting dirty. Touch his face.
Katherine: That's how it works.
Hank: But no one else has touched it.
Paul: lots of people have touched his lap like Santa.
Hank: Yeah, lots of people have been on that leg. And his shoes are nice and shined up.
Katherine: And his shoulders, super shiny.
Hank: And his hands, people are on his hands a little bit.
Katherine: Buff that.
(? 13:10)
Hank: Give that tie a tie job.
Paul: Go like this (kissy noises)
Hank: Give him a kiss. Give him a kiss on the cheek.
Katherine: Crotch area's nice and dull.
Hank: Yeah, nobody's touching the crotch, that's nice to see.
Tessa (?): I was totally thinking that would get touched. (they laugh)
Paul: It's the shiniest. (they laugh)
Hank: We should just come by one day with an electric buffing machine-- (they laugh)
Katherine: My god
Hank: It's like "somebody was having a good time last night"
~~~
Hsnk: "The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much, it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little. I see one third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished."
~~~
Hank: People touch the doorknob a lot. This is not a wooden door.
So we've reached the main memorial and his left index finger is so shiny. The rest of the statue is like, it's copper, so the rest of it's green, green patina, but people have just touched that finger lots of times.
Paul: Or been sucking on it.
Tessa: AAAAAW NO
Hank: They have not been sucking on it. His knee is pretty well-worn as well. Those will eventually wear out.
Paul: The fingers?
Hank: Like if people keep touching it forever, eventually they'll have to rebuild it but like--
Paul: Why they call him "Fingerless Frank."
Hank: Hundreds of years, talkin. And this puppy gets lots of touching. Lots of touching.
Is that Katherine? Is she on top of rocks? What are you doing on top of rocks? Get down from there!
Katherine: They're here. (Hank laughs)
~~~
Hank: Oh man, we only got 10 minutes to go see Tom. We've got one more monument.
We made it to see Thomas Jefferson. We have four minutes left so yikes. Sorry Tom, we got caught up.
~~~
Paul: (echoing) Howdy Hank Green, I'm Thomas Jefferson.
Hank: The presidents keep speaking to me. Yeah Tom?
Paul: "I'm not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered, and manners and opinions changed. With the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."
Hank: Thanks for your, sharing your wisdom with the Podcast Because Awesome, Thomas.
Paul: You can call me TJ.