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In which John talks about the Goth Scene, evil lady babies, and receives a surprise visitor.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
(looking in trash) Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday, May 29th, I'm back on the odd days, and I am here in New York City searching for packing supplies. Hank, you've turned us into conservationists and as conservationists we feel compelled to scour the streets of New York City for moving boxes. Instead of, you know, purchasing them. (finds some)

(at home) Hank, you may notice a slight difference in the background of this video, that's because the Yeti and I have almost finished packing all of our books. Hold on, I'll show you. Aaaaahhhh. Uuuhhhhg. Hank, there are many things that Nerdfighters are good at. We're good at puzzles, we're good at being smart, we're good at being extraordinarily good looking, but we do not excel at lifting, and lifting, I'm sorry to say, is a very important part of moving. OK, hold on, I'm gonna get up and show it to you. Guh! (shot of many boxes) Look at all the books!

Hank, packing all of those books has sort of sucked and it's caused my hamstrings to snap into two, but there has been one advantage: I've found two books that I've been looking for for a long time. The first is called: Everything You Need to Know About The Goth Scene In Your Pants. Hank, here's what I'm wondering: what kind of Goth scene are we talking about? Because I don't mind having people listen to The Cure inside my pants, but it's gonna be really awkward to have large armies massacring each other uh, in my pants.

Hank you asked my while I was in the Netherlands what we were going to do about the paucity of evil female babies. That brings me to the second book I found while packing: The Most Evil Women in History! In your pants. Hank this book has introduced me to several really genuinely evil women, but I am particularly impressed by Queen Ranalova! Ranavalona? Ranavalona? Queen Ranavalona the first. Uh, I like a couple of things about Queen Ranavalona first I like saying her name: Ranavalona Ranavalona Ranavalona Ranavalonaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! And second I like the fact that she's Ranavalona the first and that there was never a Ranavalona the second. This reminds me of one of my other favorite monarchs from history, King Zog the first of Albania. Zoooog. Anyway, Hank, I'd like to read you a quote about Queen Ranavalona.

"If this woman's rule lasts much longer Madagascar will be depopulated." Anyway, Hank, I don't think we should have any trouble at all finding an adequate number of evil ladies to fill out the Evil Baby Orphanage. I think that's all from me, Hank, I'll see you t- (knock knock knock)

Wait what's that? Come in! (stands) Thank you very much! (holds up scroll) Ah! From the desk of The Yeti! Hmm: (reads)

A year ago last week

John Green convinced this girl to say I do

And his brother was you.

Hank, thanks for your warning,

But there's only so much one Yeti's womb can do.

And that number is two.

(sings) Only one girl could ever stop John Green

From achieving his one unmatchable dream

I know that he will stop before 19

If he wants to remain married to me

They may play Ultimate, they may play darts

But they needn't play soccer to win our hearts

The only kind of sporting team our kids will fill

Is a competitively fierce game of skill

They needn't be numerous, they needn't be huge

And the team they'll make is two-man luge

I could go on for many verses more

But the crucial lines are stated heretofore

Hank I've got to tell you

Tell you about the power I have. Sarah Green

May some day be a luge team making machine

(spoken) Hank, I'll see you tomorrow.

(Brotherhood 2.0 logo) Oh, and happy 26th birthday to Amy, and happy 13th birthday to Anne, you guys are like half each others' age, so that's cool.