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Last sync:2023-10-29 22:45
In which Hank walks around some, tramples some people, and meets a Senator.
When we last left our hero Ezio Auditore, he had just blown up a freaking ship, allot of ships actually . By blowing up their sails, it was very exciting, and now it's less exciting and very loud. I need to get my remote control so I can turn it down. Don't need that much emphasis. Ooh, deposit of 6,000 Florence in my bank, that's exciting, where's a bank? I need to get to a bank, bankety bank bankety bank bank bank bank a bank, empty faction building, blacksmith.

Uh, none of these things are banks, damn it, balls. Uh, I want to fix up these horse stables. I don't know what that does for me really, but I am sure it is a good thing. I mean it is always good to help people fix up their horse stables, it's so sad to have a neighborhood without a stable, you know, you know? And uh, did you grow up? I grew up in a neighborhood without a stable and it was just, just, its just not the same as livi.. you know this is yes. it had a hole in the roof, and I fixed it. I'm a good man, a good man of upright moral standing, and now the horses have something. Don't eat all my hay though, I need that stuff to fall into, you know, just in case.

(1:32) Climb this, climb it you fool I'm like a fool. There's an archer who wants my.. the dia. oh this, oh wow, you are pretty far away ope nope, how do I do it? Did I just call my assassins on him? 

Oh, I called, I called the (?~2:03). (?~2:04) Draw weapon, yeah, I can shoot you as well as you can shoot me. That was really embarrassing, just the amount of time it took me to figure out, how to... auh I am gonna hurt my self quite badly. 

(2:16) uh, that sucked. OK. Where am I going? something about the banker is what I'm doing I'm actually doing, OK. There is a memory start there, there's a bank here. Go to the bank, I need my money. OK, nope this way, in a tree it's hard to see. OK, that was a waste of time. Ezio where are you man? Looking at the map now it's always good to know that there is actually a mini map that I can be using if I want to, which I hardly ever do.

(2:58) Uh, excuse me horses. OK, um ohhh I ran into that guy, oh i ran into that guy. OK the bank is on the other side of the river. I'm going to jump to the other side of the river, and swim, dive. OK, um, so yeah Assassin's Creed is a video game that I like to play, and here it is, I'm doing it now, and have been for a while. Are you new to Hankgames? Have you not seen me play Assassins Creed? That would be unusual, uh, hopefully it is entertaining and I, I'm doing allot of walking around this this episode I've I'm noticing. Uh, and I woah, I do agree that that is less entertaining than when i am stabbing. What the frick Ezio! That's not what I was planning on doing. OK good, now you're up here, good job. No, what come on what side are you on? just jumping and falling off the frickin building. What the frick, OK, the bank should be right around here somewhere. 

(4:14) Drop out of the tree. in a tr.  That tree was distracting, OK, OK, give me my money! gees, OK, that's like double the money I had. Now I'm ready I'm ready for the world now that I've got cash. Out of my way people!

(4:35) I can in fact uh, not fall over when I run into people, but I fell like it is kind of mean like ooah, I hit them. And... there's that guy, those are my guys everybody is a horse stable, there;s a bunch of notoriety papers they could be tearing down. Is there a faster way of getting to where I'm going? I feel like there must've been. Shut up! I do not need you sh' ouhhh the courtesan knocked me over I just can't stand the uh wild courtesan. Run buddy, run! Um, yeah it was it was right next to a tunnel entrance and probably I didn't even check to see if I was close to a tunnel entrance. Teim (pronounced it like time)  36, and when I sat time I mean possibly mean Tee-em. Is that? No, here's the memory start.

(5:23) OK 'P' to interact. Where am I going? What's this? What's this place? what'm I doin'? What's up? What'm I doin' in this place? Oh, It's my courtesan hall, hopefully that whole part wasn't too quiet, I just fixed my mic so that it is closer to my head. It;s my sister! I get to talk to my sister. I forgot about you. (laughs) you know, 'cause you're only my sister. Oh, its my mom, sorry. 

 bonjourino Mother. <Enzio's mother> Enzio, thank you for coming to see me. what troubles the courtesans?  <Enzio's mother > the old proprietor of this brothel Madona Solani was a cheat and liar. her ties to the church have been uncovered.>

Yes I've heard

Do you want me to stab her? wasn't she killed, She's already killed. Oh, well if they get paid

I will find them  <Enzio's mother> Visit the girls I trust they will help you  Grazie Enzio.>

You're not gonna make me kill hookers are you? because that just feels wrong, like grand theft auto.

(6:12) What am I doing? what? I don't really understand what these screens mean. That, uh, courtesan, 10 of 10 guards assassinated from behind, you can always count on me to go at it from behind. 0 of 20 guards killed during a smoke bomb attack. Yeah, OK, no guards poisoned, no dead bodies hidden in wells or haystacks, no horses that belong to guards commandeered without killing the rider, no enemies stations at guard posts killed during the crossbow, killed using the crossbow without being detected, yeah, I just suck at this stuff. I suck at this stuff. OK

(6:49) Get get get, I don't need any of that. OK, I I don't know what happens of I fill that up, but OK, lets talk to you. Hello are you my sister? OK, What is that? why are you so angry with me sister? We're, we're on good terms right? visit the sinetorredididitrotedonte cambidiglyo as is ascertained the bankers location. OK, so now do I have two missions? um, OK I don't. Um, I;m going here, unfortunately, OK I can go to this one, and that's closer at least. 

Go, go, go, go Ezio let's make thing happen that have already taken up 7 minutes and 47 second of these people's time. I have a timer, I have a timer at the bottom of the screen. 

What? entering the tunnels will what now? why why i can't use the tunnels? about the- that's lame I have to walk there? I just don't understand why i would need to do something so trivial and annoying. Where's the horse, at least with a horse I'd - oh yeah, trample those people. Get'em get'em horsey, horsey where ya goin? what the frick? What's going on? My horse just ran away from me. 

Hello? Now I can't call another horse. OK, well screw you horse I don't need you. I don't need or want you  you were never - oh God apparently I do I can't even walk. OK OK get it together. get it ok. there's a horse, let me take it. Oh, you're gonna stand on it. (laughs) jump across the horse i guess. TRAMPLE TRAMPLE TRAMPLE see horses are just more fun 'cause you get to crumple. Crumple? crample? Snapple? Get out of my way  guards. I've been force to turn in the direction that I did not want to turn in. this is the direction that i want. oh trample trample trample.

it's just fun, good clean fun, death by trample. that's the thing that- is that one, i should I should undo this one. Yes upgrade the tunnel entrance. tunnels are great. apparently you can't use them during memories though, which is lame, and .. making for me to have to spend more time on missions.

(9:55) OK, this is a nice thing here. Ooh, hello from my god- oh there's some bad guys, there's no centaur around. Oh uh, mam I am so bad at walking. have you ever seem somebody so bad at walking? 

what resumption licenses? huh? what's this? uh, had you every seen anybody s good at climbing walls and jumping over large gaps, and so bad at walking?

(10:33) oh, apparently they found him[! what is my evil visions for? That is not now loan sharks operate, but OK. In the nuts! OK, that was the nuts before it was not the nuts. Defeat the guards and rescue the centaur. Yes sir, I shall. I don't know why, oh I called a horse. 

Why can't I, oh it's not working. OK, this one Hank operate. and what's, how bout you die instead of... I like to stab the back of the head. Yeah, well, Samaritans are from Sumer it's a common misconception. Yes. Not important who I am. Yes, well just take me to the banker. Well, maybe you should pull off that ridiculous outfit you're wearing. Are we, are we gonna follow you, If I'm gonna follow you I'm gonna end this episode right here.

OK, well I'm going to have to find some guards.  So we'll walk him and then we'll end this episode, but man I'll tell you I hate the walking missions. Press 'Y' to stop Egidio. that's a horrible name, why do I have to stop him? And, this is going to be my biggest accomplishment ever as  an assassin, that was just sweet. Thanks for dyeing y'all. that's true, that's true they did. Uh, you're so slow, oh you're not.  Oh, that's great that is so good to know. I am glad that you'll run and not be a frickin pussy. 

Do you uh, climb walls? what wait  who's attacking you? Don't be such a... that, see I am just good at this you can't really argue with that. Do you climb? Do you climb sir? you don't, you don't climb . OK, that guy's got a pole axe. I stabbed that guy one time and blood came out of him, but nothing really hit him. So I don't really understand how that happened. But we're moving on unfortunately we have to go around this big thing and I am sure that there will be guards. Where are the guards? I'm sure they are around somewhere, but apparently not.  OK, munch time. Oh, I have to end the episode here, but I am just walking and that is not fun.

So I will end this episode of Hank plays Assassins Creed Brotherhood 2.0 right here. And I will not see you and you will not see me, and so on, but you will here me next time. Don;t be detected? oh, well I didn't try to do that. On  Hank plays Assassin's creed Brotherhood 2.0.  Goodbye.