G.M.H.I.T.(Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday)

I.T.T.D.I.A.R.Q.F.R.N. (It's Tuesday, the day I answer real questions from real nerdfighters)

Let's get right to it:

Will you do Sharpie face?
Yeah I guess, but only for the answers.

How involved do you plan to be in the making of TFIOS movie?
I'll be involved in any way that I can be helpful, but I know that I'm not, like, a movie person.

Wait. They're making a movie out of The Fault in our Stars?
Yes. The nice people at Fox 2000 optioned the movie rights to The Fault in Our Stars, so hopefully they will make it. It's too soon to get excited, but keep your fingers crossed. My face is burning.

Will you ever come to the Netherlands again?
Yes, in fact I'm going to the Netherlands this week. There will be a Nerdfighter gathering in Amsterdam on Friday night, more info in the dooblydoo.

Have you ever been drunk?
I dunno. I mean, not like REALLY drunk.

Have you ever been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans?
Oh right. Yeah, I have been really drunk.

Why don't you ever do champagne poppers anymore?
I just started to feel like I'm a grown man, trying make video blogs that can be taken seriously and champagne poppers just aren't really part of that bran--what?! The Nerdfighter Kiva group hit $500,000? SHA-BAM!! OW. Ow that was uncomfortable.

Have you had any experience with drugs?
Yeah, I've had quite a lot of experience actually. For instance on several occasions this class of drugs called antibiotics did an amazing job of helping me to... not be dead.

Do you get annoyed when people correct your grammar?
Oh you mean like how I just split an infinitive? I only get annoyed when people use grammar as a way of humiliating other people in YouTube comments, rather than using grammar for what it's supposed to be used for, which is to make language as clear and intelligible as possible.

What's the moment when you realized you were old?
Let me ask you a question: if I'm so old, how come my face is covered in Sharpie?

Who do you think should play Hazel and Augustus in a movie of The Fault in Our Stars?
I have no idea, because of course I know nothing of contemporary actors and actresses. Like, in my mind's imagination Drew Barrymore is still 17 years old. More importantly, who would you want to play Hazel and Augustus in the movie?

Is The Fault in our Stars still on the Bestseller list?
Yes, it's currently number 2 on the New York Times Bestseller list behind only Hugo Cabret. Damn you, Hugo! Just kidding I really liked that book. By the way, this smells really toxic. Plus it makes my crazy-eyes look crazier.

2300 librarians just went on strike in Toronto, what say you?
I stand with the librarians! Unless they don't want a guy with sharpie face standing with them, in which case I will quietly support them from a distance.

Favorite part about writing a book?
Having written.

Was Hamlet mad?
No.

Any fishing boat proceeds this year?
Alas, I am again fishing boat proceeds-less.

Babies?!
Babies!

Are you working on a new book yet?
No, I gotta finish my stupid bad-zombie story first.

All time favorite Greek philosopher?
May be obvious if you've read The Fault in Our Stars, but Zeno.

What do Batman and 16 sodiums have in common?
Nananananananananananananananana

What are your skills in drawing?
As you can see, my skills in drawing are legendary.

Can you recommend any Swedish hip hop?
Yes, Afasi & Filthy are great, although best enjoyed if you don't speak Swedish. Also Snook.

Who the eff is Hank?
Hank is a cat running for the United States senate from the great state of Virginia.

Hey when are we gonna see your punishment?
Hank, while we were on tour you told me that my punishment will strike at the moment I least expect it; I've been living in fear ever since, but it still hasn't happened, so maybe he's forgotten?

Why is 'Hazel' called Hazel?
because it's an in between color and she has an in between life: in between health and sickness, in between adolescence and adulthood, in between swimming and drowning, etc.

What do you think the difference is between a geek and a nerd?
Frankly, I think the fact that that both self-identifying geeks and nerds are so fascinated with this question indicates that we might have quite a lot in common with each other.

Did you ever want to be a teacher?
Yeah, and now thanks to Crash Course I kinda can be. And not to geek out of anything but I am totally living my teacher dream...I geeked out, didn't I? Or did I nerd out?

Hank, my head is starting to hurt from sharpie inhalation, so I'm gonna let the Crash Course theme play us out. Nerdfighters, if you haven't checked out the show please do. Hank, DFTBA. Thanks for helping me get out of the Friendzone, as if I was ever Friendzoned.

H.I.S.Y.F. (Hank, I'll see you [on] Friday)