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MLA Full: "I have questions for you." YouTube, uploaded by Sexplanations, 4 June 2021,
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Links to videos shared in this episode:
Sex Work:
Sexual Liberties:
First Time Tips:
Pregnancy Prevention:
Toy Vaginas:
Theory of Cognitive Dissonance:

Dr. Doe's contact info:
Support Sexplanations by becoming a sexpla(i)naut:


Lindsey: More questions! I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, this is Sexplanations, I have more answers.

"Lindsey, I was curious how common is it for a man to cum multiple times without losing his erection?"

"Common" is hard to say; I know it's possible, I've seen it for myself and others have shared their experiences. Has it been quantified though? Not to my knowledge. Sex education typically teaches that if you have a penis, you'll have to go through a refractory period after ejaculation before you can get aroused again - before you can get an erection and come for a second time. This doesn't really give permission to try coming again with a hard on, but you have it from me - formal permission to try orgasming again and again and again and again. [hums rhythmically, sing-song] With one hard ooon.

"How would you change Sex Ed to be better informed about Sex Work? What is fundamentally misunderstood?"

I would teach about sex work like I would any profession - include it in conversations when it's relevant. Like, when I met a software engineer and they taught me a little bit about what they do, and now I know how a software engineer can help me on future projects, and I have a sense of the cost to hire a good one, or if software engineering is a match career-wise for someone I know looking for employment opportunities. "Huh, that person would be really great at sex work."

I think what's fundamentally misunderstood about sex work is who owns our sexualities. I think that there's this belief that sex workers seduce viable sex partners away from us? Sexualities we want to control or sexualities that are out of control. And there's a belief that sex worker's sexualities are ours, too; that we need to tell them what to do and how, even though 1. they know WAY better than most of us what to do, and 2. we'd never tell a dentist how to clean her teeth. Ugh.

"Is road head illegal, or is that more of a legal question?"

I've always wished that there was "WebJD, Juris Doctor" for law questions, like WebMD is for medicine. Anyone want to make a website where we can put in a location and a behavior to determine whether or not it breaks any laws and what the consequences are? Please? It could be funded by lawyer's advertising. Let me know when you have it up and running. First question - "Is road head legal?"

As of now, no. If it doesn't impede the driver and no one sees it. If the driver is distracted or impaired in any way, and it's known to the investigator that there was mouth on penis, that's a problem. Same with someone seeing it because public roads are public, and there are laws against public sex. There are also laws against sex that isn't procreative, like blowjobs, but you can defend yourself against these laws in the US at least, because the federal case Lawrence v. Texas found those state laws to be unconstitutional.

"How do you know when it's the right time to tell your partner that you've never had sex before?"

Whenever you tell your partner that you've never had sex before is the right time. You could say, "Have you done this before? I'm actually new to this. This is my first time ever. What would make it great for you? Anything I should definitely know?" This is the dialogue I wish everyone had with a new partner. Even if I haven't had sex for a week, I've been known to say, "I might not remember what I'm doing," and give myself permission to act like a newbie. I hope that when you do have sex for the first time that you get to laugh and sweat and enjoy each other.

"Why can't I find any articles on why the sponge is 2x less effective post pregnancy?"

I'm not sure why you can't find articles, but I can explain why the sponge is less effective. The contraceptive sponge is a small, circular cushion that gets soaked in spermicide and gets placed in the back of the vagina against the cervix to block and kill sperm. If you haven't been pregnant, the failure rate for this method is 9-12%. If you have been pregnant AND you've had an abortion or vaginal delivery that would entail dilating the os in the cervix, then the rate of failure is 20-24%. The os changes shape from a circle to a hyphen; essentially, the opening that the sponge is blocking is now larger but still small, but sperm are smaller.

"I'm disabled (sensory issues), I've struggled to climax with a partner *I'm male* at this time I've never achieved this. Currently I'm pondering if my masturbation methods are affecting this and if an item such as a fleshlight might help resolve a tight grip issue?"

I love it when people consider new ways to masturbate and explore their sexualities. If you are masturbating with a tight grip - or what's colloquially called the "death-grip syndrome" - there are certainly anecdotal reports on the benefits of other methods. And a fleshlight helps you have control of speed and depth while loosening the sensation.

"I have been reviewing your videos on masturbation and I am not seeing an answer to a question I have. I almost never masturbate, but I want to know if it could help with a prostate problem I have. What I'm referring to is that I want to express the gland."

Does this video help? [gestures link to "Prostate Massage"]

"When libido falls completely away, is it a valid concept to 'just do it and see if the desire returns?'"

Yes, valid and aligned with the theory of cognitive dissonance.

"When one is new to buying a toy that inserts, how can you figure out how thick to go without wasting money on lower quality items, so you get one and go straight to the best design money can buy?"

Fingers, vegetables, other "pervertables." With a gloved hand, you can do one finger-girth at a time or you can start doubling or tripling. You can get a whole bunch of carrots and shave them to the sizes of your liking. There are lots of household items that cam work as makeshift dildos, especially if you put a body-friendly condom on them. But note - many sex toys are designed for smooth and easy entry that mimics the natural design of body parts. The key is the learn about your physiology: what turns you on, how your body changes when it's aroused, and when it's ready to get the pleasure you want. Then, it can accommodate all sorts of things.

Okay! Now I have some questions for YOU. What if every one of these questions and answers was its own episode, and I just published all 20 at a time so that people could search for their particular curiosity? [vocalizations of curiosity] What if the Sexplanations RV went to Hood River, Oregon for the summer? Do any of you have a place there for it to be parked? How are you feeling about this sex-curious show these days? Are you patiently waiting for the fingering episode or for the rest of the BDSM series or from my vibrator reviews?

I'd also like to do an episode where I determine the content of squirting fluid in a lab. I also want to see what sperm does when semen gets in your eyeball, and examine the internal clitoris on a cadaver or, I suppose, a live human if possible. Do any of you have connections to make these things happen? Let's stay curious.

Sexplanations is made possible in part to the incredible generosity of sexpla(i)nauts on They're usually the ones I bring all my questions to because they're like my business partners. If you want to be a sexpla(i)naut, too, and support free and accessible sex education for the universe, you can go to for 0 or some dollars. Thank you.

You can also improve sex education by sharing Sexplanations and/or telling others what you've learned.

[while outro plays]

Come sit on my lap by the microphone and just make noise. [multiple noises, video feed returns]

Let me see if I can imitate it. "Oh, fuck, fuck, ugh."