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In which the crew gets punchy.
Hank: [Gesturing to Michael] Your turn to judge.

Michael: Okay.

Katherine: I'm-I need a-I need another person.

Michael: We are battling next in the Trapped Temple- 

Katherine: Uh oh! Woah!

Michael: -'A temple built to honor the god of giant swinging blades and hidden spike pits.' 

Katherine: Hmm

Michael: Giant saw blades... Fire... 

Emily: Hmm...

Katherine: Bee boop. 

Hank: Bee boop. 

Michael: Bee boop. 

[Katherine laughs]

Katharine: Boop boop.

Emily: Bee bop bee boop bee bop

[Hank and Katharine laugh] 

Emily: Heck yeah!

Katharine: Bee boop oh!

Hank: oh, you're going to play your- start with an item.

Emily: Oh, yeah!

Hank: Starting with an item. That's worrisome.

Emily: Oh, yeah! 

Hank: Okay, three, two, go.

[Hank, Katherine, and Emily flip over their cards] 

Hank: We got a Golem! Oh, shh! Invisibility ring on your Cockatrice!

Katherine: Woah!

Hank: Go-golem has got-

Michael: On your what?

[All start laughing]

Katherine: On your what? 

[More laughing] 

Katherine: Cockatrice. You know! Cockatrice. I-I'm kin-I'm a- I'm a little confused about where the Cockatrice is wearing-

Hank: Going to wear the ring.

Katherine: -it's invisible ring.

[All laugh] 

Emily: And it's changeable!

Katherine: It's a Cockatrice ring!

Emily: You have to wear it on his tail.

Hank: Yeah, you said it. You went ahead and said it. That's good. [Pats a laughing Katherine on the back] 

Emily: Ahhh, okay!

Hank: On it's tail. [looking at the camera] It's wearing it on it's tail. 

Michael: Mmkay. 

Emily: Yup! 

Michael: Okay. 

Hank: I have a hydra. 'It's heads learn to get along when they realize that cutting each other off made things too complicated.' But I think that if we start getting in trouble on this swinging saw blade area we can just throw some heads in there and grow some more until we're like the biggest baddest head monster... ever. And we could eat all, you guys. 

Emily: Well, I've got the Cockatrice which if you look into it's eyes you'll be paralyzed by how weird and ugly it is.

[Katherine laughs] 

Hank: But I can't look into it's eyes [addressing the camera] 'cause it's invisible!

Emily: Well, that's a- that's it's- that's it's advantage! Is that he's going to creep up behind you-

Hank: And be like... And be like [Lounges into Katherine's face] Mah!

Emily: -take off the invisibility ring and scare the living sh*t out of you. And you'll lose a head.

Katherine: I don't believe that such powers would work on a golem... Ahh...

Hank: It's already made of stone. 

Emily: Oh.

Katherine: I mean it is already made of iron. I don't think you can freeze a-

Emily: That doesn't mean it doesn't-

Katherine: -golem with that kind of power-

Hank: Well, sure you can! Sure you can freeze a golem.

Katherine: I feel like that only work on something with like... vital essence inside like blood.

Hank: It has eyes!

Emily: That doesn’t mean that it doesn't have feelings-

Hank: It can be frozen.

Emily: it could have a glowy heart thing!

Hank: Yeah! It's got an arc reactor!

Emily: That glowy heart can be broken!

Katherine: Golems don't have feelings. 

Hank: They have arc reactors. 

Katherine: They have... a goal-

Hank: They have a goal? And an em.

Katherine: And- What? 

Hank: Golem!

[Katherine and Michael laugh]

[Hank with a big smile points up and then at himself then gives a thumbs up]

Katherine: And also, I don't-I think the Trapped Temple would-wouldn't-

Hank: What do you mean it has a goal? [Leans over to look at the card]

Katharine: Wouldn't- But well it's- it can be you know it's-

Hank: Oh, yes! It has one thing that it's supposed to do. 

Katherine: One thing! It has one purpose!

Emily: But how is this- how is this going to be advantageous in the Trapped Temple? 

Hank: Ahhh.

Emily: 'Cause I would argue the Cockatrice probably lives there. [Hank laughs] He's so creepy all the time. 

Katherine: I don't think anything would impact the golem in this- in this realm. I mean like... i-i-i-it's

Emily: It's like swinging blades are just going to come down and be like meh[imitates a low force karate chop in the air]

Katherine: They're just gonna glance off of it, you know? It's made of iron. 

Hank: My main problem with the hydra now is that there is really- since there's so many heads and so many eyes that there's really no chance that we're not at some point going to look at the Cockatrice.

Emily: Yeah! Yeah, pretty much. Because he can just flip back on his invisibility ring and-

Hank: I'm terrible at this game. [Laughs]

Emily: -you don't.

Katherine: 'Cause it really- it doesn't look like it has any actual like fighting appendages apart from the heads.

Hank: Yeah.

Emily: Yeah. He's got like little girly arms. 

Katherine: So it's not like it can look in a different direction, and be like [Turns head behind and flail arm as if hitting someone]

Hank: No, yeah. 

Emily: He can't fight anything like maybe-

Hank: Yeah. Well no it can fight, but it has-but it has to be looking at the thing that's it's fighting like you know it can't be like Hercules or whoever that is.

Katherine: Right.

Hank: Odysseus.

Emily: Yeah.

Katherine: Yeah, well, here’s the thing also the golem has this [Hank gasps] magic mirror.

Emily: What?

Hank: Oh! Oh!-

Katherine: With witch it can reflect the gaze of Cockatrice.

Emily: What?

Hank: You are totally frozen and I'm totally frozen.

Emily: What?

Hank: No we can't let that happen. Katherine's already won three times. It's like the mirror from ahhhhhhhhh Snow White, when you ask who's the fairest of them all-

Emily: Yeah.

Hank: -and it's all yeah not you. 

Emily: Yeah, and the Cockatrice is not going to be asking like 'Am I pretty?' [Hank laughs] 'Am I the prettiest? 

Katherine: Hey, no.

Emily: I don't think that's allowed.

Hank: But if the Cockatrice sees itself, but why would it see itself? 'Cause it's got an invisibility ring on.

Emily: [throws her hands up] Doesn't need to.

Hank: I'm sorry I'm arguing against you, but like obviously I have too many eyes to win this battle.

Michael: Are we ready for ah-

Hank: Yeah

Emily: I think I've-

Michael: Final-final arguments. 

Katherine: I've already made my argument. You decide.

Michael: Okay. 

Hank: Okay.

Michael: So, this is what actually happened. 

Hank: Okay! [Slams down his cards on the table]

Michael: The hydra's hanging out in the Trapped Temple. Ah... the... Cockatrice puts on it's invisibility ring to sneak up on the hydra-

Katherine: I believe it's Cockatrice.

Michael: And then ah takes the ring off, so the hydra sees the [Emily puts her hands up] ah Cockatrice and is paralyzed ah in place as you know a saw blade comes out of the wall and like kills the-the hydra.

Hank: But then I grow all my heads back 

Michael: Ni-Right in the body man-

Hank: Ah in the body.

Michael: -just like just like you know. All the vital organs are in there.

Katherine: Like through the heart.

Michael: But then while the Cockatrice still has it's invisibility ring off the golem comes over with his magic mirror and shows the Cockatrice itself which paralyzes the Cockatrice um...

Hank: You just let Katherine win again. 

Emily: N-I...

Michael: I mean it's-

Katherine: He's not letting!

[Hank laughs] 

Katherine: He's going based on what the-what the cards are showing.

Hank: Alright well, [addresses camera] I'm looking forward to the next round when Katherine can't win.

Michael: So, while the golem is holding the mirror there with the Cockatrice ah paralyzed you know giant spikes come out of the wall and impale everything, but it's made of iron so it just you know gets a little dented. And... then...[Emily throws up her hands] it walks away-

Emily: What is this?

Michael: -with a broken mirror.

Katherine: I mean maybe he's stuck there forever, but he still wins.

[Michael and Hank laugh]

Katherine: Whatever, he could just be stuck there against the wall forever and it doesn't matter 'cause he still wins.

Emily: Yeah, I guess.

Katherine: Ha Ha!

Hank: Alright, re-group, everyone. Alright, Katherine, you're the judge now.

Katherine: I'm looking forward to it.

Emily: Oh, I get another thingy. 

Katherine: Three champion!

Hank: Three champion. Oh, wow. Katherine has three champions. That's pretty much a win.

Katherine: The battle realm-

[Hank inhales loudly]

Katherine: -for the next battle is the Pearly Gates. 

Emily: What?

Katherine: 'These magical gates will cast down any intruder with a wicked heart.'

[Piano cat plays as an outro]