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In which Hank rummages through an old box and...well...mostly just makes fun of himself.


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good morning, John, its Thursday, October 25th.

Today's a very special episode of Brotherhood 2.0 in which I am going to take you all back into the history of my life. I have arrived at mom and dad's house in Fairview, North Carolina and I suddenly am surrounded by memories of my childhood. And these memories include things such as Yoda unopened! Which I'm sure is worth nothing. Probably substantially less than the six dollars and seventy-four cents that I paid for it.

There is a big box here of everything that ever mattered in my life. One thing that mattered a great deal in my life is Dexter. Dexter, wave hi!


That's not how Dexter talks.

This is the animal that I slept with every night for a long time. Some people have teddy bears, I have teddy black footed ferrets. That's what you get when your dad is the Florida State Director of a nature conservancy.

Going back further in time, this is Skylex, my blankie. This was even more really sort of love and sleep time.I know what you're thinking. Skylex isn't really a normal name for a kid's're right. Its a weird name for a kid's blankie. A normal name would be Beebee, which was your blankie's name. I would like to point out that neither of our blankets have anagram-able names.

This is the research that I did in college! "The novel differentiation of human blood mono-nuclear cells and the CD1A negative dendritic cells is stimulated by the absence of exogenous cytokines by an extract prepared from pine cones." Hoo-ha! Nerdfighters! ...what that translates to is "Cancer cure from pine cones?" If you look really hard you can see my name in there somewhere.

Oh look! Its my transcript. My only C: calculus 2.

Here's a little mystery for you! This is some piece of paper from my chemistry department, and it seems to say on it "YouTube." Why would it say YouTube on it?

Ah, my first publication! Space Times! Its the magazine of the American Astronomical Society. First page, Ideas and Opinions, "Let's Go To Mars" by Hank Green. If you want to read that, you can Google me, and the word 'Mars' and you will likely find it. It is very embarrassing, but I was sixteen and it was nice to get the letter from them saying that they would like to publish it.

What else do we have in the big box? There's this, which is possibly the most flattering picture of me in history, and it was on the front page of the lifestyle section, because I made a website called which if you live in Orlando you do hate I4, and so people could relate to it. It got me in the paper. This is an interesting article, I'd never read it until I found it in here. Pretty cool! The site doesn't exist anymore, so don't go try to find it.

I was a founding member of the Mars society! ...ow, I hit myself in the head. Mars society!

I regret that I cannot share more of this stuff with you because there is a ton of really good fodder for making fun of myself. For example, this is a sheet that contains many of the ticket stubs that I used to go in and see the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Which I did many, many, many, many, many, many times.

And then there's this, which is my 'Best Dancer Award' which, no sh*t, I actually did win the best dancer award at my high school.  *sneezes* And I am apparently allergic to it.

But I cannot share all of that with you, because so much of my life is in that box. Its very strange to go through. I'm glad that I could share some of that with you, because I'm sure, John, that you don't know a lot of this stuff about me. Which is crazy. And if you have a box like this, I would love to see your version. I don't know if mom and dad have it here...hehe...I'm going to ask. In any case, John, I hope you enjoyed that, Dexter and I will see you tomorrow.