Please buy my album. I really did work on it a lot,
and now that it's done, I'll tell you the tracks that it's got.
And I'm not just gonna list them
I'm gonna play a medley of them all.
Because there are a lot, 17 tracks.
And you may have forgot 'em,
I'm gonna sing them all right now.
And that's not the most exciting part,
I'll also show you sharkeyejones' art
which is on the back of the poster
and now let's start.

I don't know what you mean when you say
please explain what is DFTB
I don't know what you mean when you say
please explain what is DFTBA

Oh, this isn't Hogwarts
This is a concrete box
And the pictures on the wall are never going to talk

And the deep sea angler fish has no reason to be happy
But she has no freaking idea what else to be

I know that you don't think I know that I know what I know
I don't know what you think I think you think you know I don't

The mink had lost her furry scarf
She said it was stolen
The shoe salesmen he wanted to help
Because he had so much soul

She's Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel
Yes, Scuzzy Kizoozle Curl, the homicidal squirrel

Protons and neutrons
The electron cloud scattered around

She was the first girl who ever made me fall in love
I just took too long to ask her
To the freaking Yule Ball

Well, there's a lot of cool things about the County Fair
But the Demolition Derby is why I'm there.

And if fatherhood is the most important job by far
Then why don't I know who the fathers of the Founding Fathers are?
Why don't I know who the fathers of the Founding Fathers are?

I have a complicated relationship with the distal portion of my large intestine also known as the colon
I started feeling kinda shitty when I turned 23
And then the pain got worse and worse everyday and the days turned into weeks

You don't love me because I'm not Edward Cullen
I can wear sparkly make-up and act all brave and sullen

This is the plot to every television crime show
from CSI to Columbo

Everyone thinks of Jesus
on the eve of Christmas
But no one ever thinks to put him on their list
So Jesus gets nothing for Christmas.

This is a song for all the vegetables that look like penises.

There's no place that I'd rather be
Then livin' here with my nerdy friends
making videos happily
On Nerdfighteria Island
On Nerdfighteria Island
On Nerdfighteria Island

So I guess it all makes sense at the end
Yeah, I guess it all makes sense at the end

John, I've always been proud of you and the creative things that you've done and it means so much to me that you get what I'm doing and that you like it. Thank you so much for that. And, as a special thank you to everyone who pre-orders This Machine Pwns N00bs, we are including a signed guitar pick in every single pre-order package. So, if you wanna get one of those, you gotta pre-order the album now. And while you're at dftba.com, you might want to check out some of the other great stuff we've got like my first album, So Jokes, my live album, Molly Lewis's new album, and Doctor Noise's new album, which are both only six dollars. I really appreciate everyone supporting YouTube musicians and I really think that all Nerdfighters will really enjoy this album. So, thank you all so much, and I'm out.