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Preorder This Machine Pwns N00bs at!

In which John talks about how much he loves Hank's new album. It's funny. It's smart. And it says more than you might think about being a person. And does jumping jacks, push ups, and dance moves to "A Song about An Anglerfish."


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A Bunny
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Good morning Hank it's Tuesday, I'm a little frazzled from NaNoWriMo-ing, but today we have to talk about something super important - Your second album, This Machine Pwns n00bs!

Best album title EVER! which comes out November 16th and is currently available for pre-order. Also, we're gonna play a game called 'jumping jack push up dance move'. Okay Hank, so I've used my connections to obtain a leaked copy of your new album This Machine Pwns n00bs, and it is just SO SO good.

And I love it, and nothing against your previous work, but it's by far your best album to date. Like listening to it over and over again I've realized that your songs aren't just funny and like insanely catchy in the way that you wake up singing 'This isn't Hogwarts, this is a concrete box', they're also meditations on how and why to be hopeful in this broken world. And yes, I'm seriously saying that about an album which contains a song called 'I'm not Edward Cullen.

I'm not saying this as your brother but as a fellow nerdfighter, This Machine Pwns n00bs is one of the most made of awesome albums I've ever listened to. And I'm proud of you, there I said it. Okay Hank, I'm so excited about your new album that I'm going to use the first single to initiate the first event in the 2009 nerdfighter fitness challenge!

The rules are simple, how many circuits of jumping jack push up dance move can you do during your Song About an Anglerfish? (Which by the way is incontestably the greatest song ever written about an anglerfish). By the way, to be official, a dance move must feature at least two distinct movements, this is not a dance move - that is. (John does jumping jack push up dance moves while Anglerfish plays) Clearly, I need to er.. expand my dance moves vocabulary. Hank that was the best I can do, can you beat me?

Okay, so I pre-ordered my copy of This Machine Pwns n00bs, in fact I pre-ordered six so I can give them away as Christmas presents. Nerdfighters, you can and should pre-order it now at And while supplies last you can get this ridiculously awesome and inexpensive bundle which includes the CD, a This Machine Pwns n00bs t-shirt, and a Hank pin-up poster.

Proving once and for all Hank, that you are the pin-up brother and I am the puffy brother. Congratulations on the album, I'll see you tomorrow. (Willy licks John's face) Oh. Thanks buddy.