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In which Hank talks...about...hrmm...zits and haiti and friends and scary stuffed animals.


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A Bunny
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Good morning, John. I'm currently in Florida visiting my in-laws, and, uh, I wanted to introduce you to the newest member of this little family! This is Horatio; he's my new zit. Uh, he's a pretty nice guy. He's actually a bit of a jerk. Say hi to everybody, Horatio! Hiii! Ninety nine point nine nine percent of people right now are thinking like, "Uheeewwww!" But there is that point zero one percent of people who, who are named Horatio, who are just mad at me right now. Sorry, Horatios! And also everybody else. Can anybody tell me at what stage in an adult man's life he stops getting gigantic zits? Because I've been waiting for that day. For a long time. And it would be really nice. Other than that, my life is doing quite well. I was just visiting friends in Orlando, uh, and remembering how great high school times were! I hope that people, uh, anyone, someone in the world, somewhere, had as much fun with their friends in high school as I did. I have to say to those people,: thank you for making me a more fun, uh, and better person. Silliness is a vastly under-appreciated quality in humanity. Uh, I don't know why it is not among our major virtues. Diligence and kindness and patience and humility and silliness! Ahhhhhh what was I gonna talk about? Oh yeah! I have a message from Hank from the past. Hank from the past, kick it! Hello, it is me! From the past! You can tell because of all the hair. I'm just here to tell you that this is five-hundred and twelve dollars that Nerdfighters gave to me for my birthday, and I'm taking to the bank to deposit it so that I can donate it to an organization of my choosing which you will find out shortly. Also, I'm hoping they'll take the Canadian money and the Euros. Apa doop-doop-a-doo... right! To the bank! To the bank! To the bank! Now I'm going to go get my hair cut. I know; I'm messing with time today. So yeah, I got a hair cut. Whaddaya think? It's a little messy now. I guess messy's in, though. My dreams of looking like Topher from Dollhouse every day for the rest of my life have been squashed, but I'm dealing with it. You know, every day's a struggle! So, after I deposited that money and also did all the calculations to figure out how much all the foreign money was worth, I came to the conclusion that I had six-hundred and thirty-four dollars and twelve cents that Nerdfighters had given me for my birthday to donate to a charity of my cau-- A charity of my cause. Of course. Cause of my choosing. A charity of my host of... bungy... buns... But I cannot help but to donate it to who I went to Haiti with to learn how they operate and what they do and because I'm such a fan of the work that does, and also, because I'm inspired by the charity of Nerdfighteria, I've decided to double the amount that you gave me, and I am now giving that money to Thank you. Speaking of which, if you go to you can see how Savann Tabak, the community I visited, is doing on its path to getting a well. They have formed a well-committee; they have created a budget for the well; they have chosen a location and a guard for the well. I encourage you once again to go and follow, uh, Savann Tabak at and also, uh, to donate money directly to them. You don't have to send it to me first. I'm just gonna give it to anyway. Just found this, uh, in the corner. Don't know what's up with him. Is this copyright? Is this copyright violation? Disney owns him. Go away, Winnie, go away! You could get me sued! I'll miss you, Winnie the Pooh. This one isn't copyrighted, uh, because it's so scary. Oh, man, you too. I-I've just discovered a cache of amazingly disfigured and frightening, uh, antique toys, so I'm gonna go away because I'm scared for my life. So Horatio wanted you all to know that he's doing his best to get rid of this face, so it can just be him doing the vlogs, but, you know, you guys can vote which one you think would be better at this job. It's not you, okay? Not you! So, uhhh... [auto-tuned uh-ing] John, I'll see you on Wednesday!