Hank: Hello and welcome to Games with Hank I'm Hank this is games with me. It's Wii Wednesday. It's Katherine everybody.

So let's be honest.

Katherine: Is that our... Is that our?

H: I assume...

K: Is that our world that we're on?

H: Yeah!

K: I dunno.

H: It's been a long time since we've played video games. It's been a busy time in our lives and I feel like we haven't

K: I have no idea how to play this game.

H: I've... Yes, that's true. And also, I don't know how... to feel about how I've let you all down and haven't put anything on Games with Hank for... years.

Yeah, I think it's that... I think we're going that way.

K: That seems...

H: It seems wrong, I agree, but here it is, the... what? No, its the castle, Katherine.

K: (laughs)

H: You've got to go up the stairs.

K: I don't want to.

H: Maybe I did it. If you hit it, you did it. That's what they say.

K: Oh boy, I'm... worried.

H: It's the Lava Rock Lair.

K: I'm worried about this

H: We're going to do great!

K: What buttons... work? What buttons do what?

H: I'm not entirely sure.

K: (Groans)

H: In fact, I'm using the nunchuk, which I don't even know if I did that. Previously.

K: Yeah, you use the nunchuk. Okay, that's jump...

H: Oh, I slid a lot. Kay, that's how you ground-pound. Can you -- O-ah!

K: What's this thing over here? I think that's just to kick. Just... kick him! Okay, maybe not. Run away from this thing. Ah. Ahh. Ahhh you guys heeee-

H: Let me just jump on it's head and it goes away.

K: -eeeelp

H: Oooh. Ahh, I died.

K: Yeah, you just jump on his head and he goes away. Ahhhh!

H: Oh, we both died, Katherine! No we didn't. You're not dead.

K: I was big, for some reason. Okay. Um, you guys. Hahhhh!

H: Doo doo doo doo doo.

K: You gotta come over here on this thing.

H: What's that? Why? Oh. To get this -- Gaaarrr... How do you go fast? You -- trigger. Trigger button.

Both: Ahhhhh!

H: You almost jumped off the edge!

Both: Eueehhhh!

K: I ran right into it.

H: Yeah, you did.

K: Yeah, I did. I ran right into it. Careful, flaming friends.

H: It's okay. If you stand right in the middle, nothing happens. Okay, come out.

H: You got to get this yellow-red thing. No, you have to- you can get out. Oh, this is weird. Nice, nice, eeeehhhhh, I got it, but I fell and now you're a cat and I'm just tiny.

K: Mrow. Mrow.

H: Hit him, hit him, hit him into the lava. Yeah, yeah! Welcome to being a dead!

K: Eueehhhh!

H: All rrrrrraaaahhh!

K: Welcome to being a dead.

H: Ahhhh! Ehhhh! Elewaaahh! Okay, well, I ran right into it.

K: Ahhhhh! Alright, Alright, I got you.

H: No, it hit you, but you gotta keep going. Go into the lava tube! Takes you down into the lava.

K: Oh no, oh no, no. Oh my gosh this seems terribly-

H: It d-does seem unsafe.

K: Terrible idea! Terribly bad idea!

H: Uh, they're giving children the wrong idea of how lava works.

K: Yeah!

H: I'm coming with you. I'm coming with you.

K: Even if you put a glass tube in there, it's not gonna-

H: No, yeah. Uh, which one am I? Which one am I? Which one am I?

K: What do you mean? You're-

H: I'm Luigi, I'm Luigi.

K: No, you're not! You're the Mario!

H: I'm, yes, that's what I meant.

K: Okay, what's happening here?

H: Uh, well, didn't work, we failed. Next time though, we have to get one of the lava monsters onto the rock.

K: Yeah, but how?

H: I don't know.

K: Uhhh, frick.

H: What? I thought I was really far away from that. Well, we get a second chance to do better.

K: Ugh, okay. I forget how to play this game.

H: Don't, just don't throw me off of the-

K: I'll just throw you forward!

H: Ahhhhh! That was very effective there. Get this. Oh my God, I'm awful. Awful at the game!

K: Almost, almost.

H: I'm jus-remember that this isn't about being good, it's about, it's about Katherine being a *giggles* little mushroom Luigi!

K: *Laughs* I'm just nervous!

H: Yeah, I understand.

K: I'm just nervous. Ahhhhh!

K: HYUUUUUU---

H: Alright, those things don't come up until you get the thing. Oh yes they do, eventually.

K: You get, you get close to them and then you get...

H: Oh, I can pick him up!

K: HYAAHH!

H: Yeah! You did it! Oh the other one, then the other one came up.

K: There's two?

H: Yeah.

K: Oh, you can pick it up!

H: Yeah, you can pick it up!

K: Okay, so that's how you gotta do it.

H: Yeah, with the--ohhh, you mean you could put them down on the thing.

K: I forget how to run fast.

H: Z! Z!

K: I don't have that button.

H: NYEEHH

K: Ohhh, yes I do. Shoot!

H: Bye-bye kitty!

K: Oh it's Y on mine, it's Y.

H: Yeah, I don't know if I--it's the trigger. I don't know what the trigger is.

H: Aaaaannnnnnd WHO'S GONNA WIN? AUGH! You're gonna win. By murder!

K: I didn't mean to do that!

H: Oh, well I've been rolled on. Augh. Oh, you killed him. Where am I?

K: Am I coming back? Jeez.

H: Well, that was worse than the last time.

K: If you die you don't get nothing.

H: Just run! Just run, this isn't fun I don't like this, I'm just gonna go

K: Oh but what if there's things--

H: Just go!

K: The guy wi---

H: Go! Go!

K: Kay, I died because you left me behind.

H: You didn't! You're here with me!

K: There's a bell, there's a cat bell over here, can you please at least get

H: It's on top of a THOUSAND, oh. Not anymore.

K: Okay, I thought maybe I would get that since I was just a tiny man

H: I, well I, was I a big man?

K: Yessssss....

H: Oh, I did not realize. Such things.

K: You were an adult.

H: I was an adult. Oh, well there you go, baby! Well done! That was exceptional game-play.

K: *laughs*

H: Now we take on--

K: Sometimes there's invisible blocks.

H: Now there's gonna be a bad thing.

K: I feel like we've done this.
H: Nope, nope. This is new.

K: Okay. We've done one that was like this.

H: I think we're going to have to jump on them and throw them at the big guy.

K: I'm going to stink at this.

H: Uh, that was very good! I threw it in the wrong direction.

K: Oh boy, oh boy...

H: Okay, well he's invincible when he's doing this thing.

K: Oh boy, WAAAUGH

H: This is bad
K: Run run run run fast

H: Okay, where are your friends? We need friends to throw at you. You've got little diamonds on you, very pretty, I like how pretty you are

K: fastfastfastfast

H: Ah, there are your friends, I knew they would be coming

K: fastfastfastfast

H: NO, kitty, throw it this way! YES! YES! RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

K: I don't know where I am, where I am, I think I died---

H: HNNNUUUUUHHHHHH---

K: Think I died, think I died, Hank stay alive

H: --UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH---

K: I died. So I am not coming back.

H: He's burning. He's a BURNING LAVA MONSTER!

K: Run faster, kitty!!

H: Hyuuh, kitty kitty...You're not coming back at all?

K: No, I died. I don't know--No! No! Don't panic! Now! Okay!

H: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! He started spitting!

K: You waited too long, you waited too long.

H: Whoo, I don't know how he missed me, but he did!

K: I think it went over your head.

H: It went over my head! I'm a little kitty! Oh god

K: Shhh...shhh...

H: Running...running....rrrrrrrr...Where are your friends?

K: Here they come, here they come

H: Oh, no. He popped right into my head.

K: Get him. THROW IT THROW IT

H: Uh--WOAH WOAH THAT WAS CLOSE I almost ran off the edge just then because I was--

K: Get all the coins, get all the coins, get all the coins...Get it, get it!

H: That's okay, it's 99 seconds I think that's okay. 

K: No, you gotta get to the end! 

H: Oh! Where are we? 

K: Run! Run to the right! To the right! 

H: Oh, there's gonna be a clock. Yeah, we're good. We got a hundred and ninety seconds. Oh heeeeeeey, it's a little thing! I can rescue you. 

K: Like Carol Burnett in a bottle. 

H: *laughs* That's uh..

K: aaaaahhhhAAAAUUUUAAAOOOOOO......

H: Is that...is that your Carol Burnett impression? 

K: That's what she does, she does that amazing Tarzan yell, you never heard that? WOW, that was terrible!

H: *laughs* Just...I JUMPED! I'M A JUMPER! Look at me, I'm a-Mario! I jumped!

K: It's like when you jumped off of that balcony into the pool, you were like

H: *laughs*

H: I just figured..I didn't want to be coming from too high up!

(both laughing)

H: So I'd just lower myself down. Don't...well...maybe I'll put in a clip of me jumping very ungainly into the pool right here.

K: That was...do what you want. Yeah, you definitely won that.

H: Well you were dead most of the time. Was that the end of the level? Are we going to 5 now? Oh, do we get a wrench?

K: That's how she opens the pipe.

H: Oh, it's a magic wrench--she just twiggles it around...

K: It's a plumbing thing...

H: Twiggles it.

K: *snort*

H: Plumbing thing, yeah. Ah, you can't totally leave behind the plumbing motif.

K: I'm not even there, so if you wanna go somewhere...Oh here, I came back!

H: You got five ups!

K: Right...

H: Look at that little Mario. He's so classic. I got it. You're controlling it. I'll stop pushing buttons. TAKE ME INTO THE PIPE

K: SHOOOOOM

H: wiggawiggawigga--What's this land? It's purple

K: Is it...icy? or...

H: Ice was two. I think this might be some kind of psychedelic substance that might make confused and...bubbles, there's bubbles. You can go, let's go into this Toad place--AUGH. Oh, oh, yes, we got that thing. 

K: Yeah but--

H: You can do it! I'll just watch!

K: That seems unfair.

H: Well, there's lots of unfair things in the world.

K: That's not why I'm playing this game though.

H: Well there's a star right there. That's good.

K: Oh, there's a bunch of stars.

H: This looks fun!

K: Yeah, I don't know what this is!

H: I don't know why you can't have more than one player. Captain Toad, fearless hunter of green stars, is ready for adventure! Guide him safely through the course in search of his five stars. Make sure to get all five in order to take them home.

K: Oh I can move the camera with this...

H: ohhhh..

K: The camera with 'R'...

*Sped-up Captain Toad Theme*

H: Good job, Toad!

K: *Toad noise*

H: Good Toad impression.

K:*Laughs* Thanks...

H: What are ya doin, kitty? C'mere! C'mere, show everybody whats going on.

K: She's like, "No don't touch me."

H:*Laughs* Are you-- Don't be ridiculous, Human!

K:What is wrong with you? *kiss sounds* "If I want to come to you, I will come!"

K: *Toad noise*

H: Kay, look at all the stars you got, Katherine!

K: Needed those stars.

H: Can't do anything.

K: Okay, great.

H: Uh-huh, yep, good, okay. Now we can do a world.

K: Looks like this is the one that--

H: That's- yeah, we're gonna find out what this world looks like.

K: OH, we're going to the beach!

H: I like the beach! 

K: *slurring* Sunshine Seaside!

K: *speaking clearly* Sun-side. Sea-side.

H: Are we gonna collect some seashells? 

K: *whispering* Seashells. Sunshine. 

H: I'm going up this tree! Oh, this is nice, I like it so far. There's this guy, are we friends?

K: No-o.

H: No, we're not.

K: No.

H: What's this lil crab do?

H: Oh, yeah. There's a lot of you!

K: Oh no, Hank!

H: I'm sorry.

K: No! [laugh] OK, I-- yeah, I do. Yeah, I do!

H: Do you have a boomerang?

K: Did for a second. Will it die? Oh, yup.

H: Why did my boomerang die?

K: Cause you ran into a--

H: Oh.

K: --shell guy.

H: It's very confusing.

K: Come down here, eh? Come down here, eh?

H: Well, you distract him very well, thank you.

K: [gasps]

H: Oh, I'm sorry.

K: Oh, boy. Kick it. Kick it around. Make it--

H: Aw!

K: Oh, my god.

H: Well, I didn't know you could do that.

K: Well, you killed those things.

H:  And, off it goes into the water.

K: Real good.

H: Really, just keeps going. Skims right across like it's a skipper on a skip land.

K: Yup. Yeah! Crumpet.

H: Crumpet? Oh, man.

K: I was wondering where--

H: No, I don't think so. I'm not very good at-- Oh, yeah. We're bad.

K: I was trying-- I'm trying to move the shell so that it'll-- aw.

H: Yeah, I know. I was trying to stop it myself, but then I just jumped in front of it instead. So, let's do better this time.

K: OK. Maybe let's, let's have a more, uh...

H: Aw, I didn't mean to destroy it.

K: I don't know why, but there's these question mark things and when you collect them, they go up to the top there. There, there you go. You did it.

H: I did. I got it at an angle. So, the question marks, what?

K: Um...

H: Oh, they go to the top.

K: The little tokens, they go to the top.

H: Yeah.

K: And they....

H: OK. Oh, what, why? I'm apparently awful at killing things.

K: That's helpful. No, no, no, no thank you!

H: I got a whole outfit on.

K: Yeah, you got a... you're a. These guys now.

H: I'm going to try to get all these guys all at once.

K: Oh. Oh!

H: Yeah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

K: One-ups

H: Bowling. One-ups.

K: Oh, no.

H: I want up here now

K: Up, up! Wahoo! Wahoo! Wahoo!

H: Woah! Look at you!

K: Wahoo!

H: Champion of the sea shore!

K: What, what do you want me to get off? Let me get off. Let me get off.

H: Oh, no! I lost it. There's one under this thing.

K: Oh, there is one under there.

H: Oh, come on. Get better at the game, Hank.

K: Do-do-da. Do-do. OK.

H: OK, how do we do it?

K: I don't know. Ah, frick! What did it bounce off of? There's nothing there! Where-- why are you jumping?

H: I went in there. Cause I don't know what's in there! Could be bad stuff.

K: That's weird.

H: I'll go in here and go down. Nope, I didn't go in at all. Got to go in here. Nope, you got to go in, in the pipe. Oh my god. I'm too, like, dedicated to trying to get in the pipe to go down.

K: Ooh!

Together: Ah!

K: OK, I'm going through this.

H: OK, I'm gonna go this way.

K: Yeah!

H: Yes, give me what I want.

K: It's over here, you want that thing?

H:  What is it?

K: This thing.

H: This clam?

K: This boomerang thing.

H: Oh, the boomerang. I do want the boomerang. This clam, is it this clam?

K: [Laughing] Yeah. What this is? What this is? What this is?

H: I don't know. Go get it.

K: What this is? Uh, can't see.

H: Ah, the beach is nice. It needs a key. We need more keys.

K: [indecipherable mumbling]

H: Oh there's lots of football players!

K: Oh, no, no!

H: What is all that?

H: Oh you went right over to the football players!

K: Hooooo Ahhhhhh! OK, we need to get those things though. Did I die? Am I not coming back? OK, got it.

H: I got all the things.

K: Ah-ha, which gives the thing

H: Now it's a thing.

K: Go over to the thing. Where you going? Baseball! Baseball! Nope.

H: Nope. I got one of them.

K: Those are football players, they look like. Why...?

H: I died. Yeah! Take out there heads.

K: Oh no. Bring that baseball.

H: OK. Should I throw it into the...?

K: Throw it at this guy. Wait, what's this? Climb it, uh, climb it.  Uh, tinies! Tinies! Roomf at them. Roomf at them.

H: Wow. Those aren't tinies, there normal sized goombas. Or, are they? I don't know. They were not acting like tinies.

K: I keep missing them.

H: Yeah. You're just kicking.

K: Yeah.

H: OK, now.

K: What is this?

H: What is it?

K: It's, ah, a big one.

H: Oh, where did I go? Did I die? I didn't see myself die. Why is it not moving?

K: Why do I keep missing?!

H: I don't know. Why did-- Who's got, you got--

K: You, wait. Are you in there?

H: Where? Oh, I'm in it!

[Katherine laughs]

H: It's me!

K: [laughing] What the-- is happening?

H: Ah ha ha ha! Ha ha! I am the leader of all goombas.

K: I don't get it.

H: Oh, what's this? There's a shell. I found a shell. Can you put the shell on?

K: Can I wear that? Can I wear that? Stop!

H: Uh, it makes lots of coins.

K: So many coins. Come back shell.

H: Don't go away!

K: Come back coin shell!

H: What's this?

K: Oh, I don't know. Let's find out.

H: I got-- My head is too big.

K: It's a pipe.

H: It's a pipe. I went in it.

K: You went in it.

H: I went, I did it with my big goomba head. Oh man. That's weird. OK. Ah, you go up there. I'll stay down here. I was so confused, man.

K: Get all this.

H: I'm trying

H: Oh, we got-- we didn't get the first one. Hey, two thousand! Hey, a star! Alright. Oh, so many shiny pants.

K: [laughing] Shiny pants. Woo, I found a hole in the ocean and I thought it would be a good idea to go in there.

H: Yeah.

K: It's not usually...

H: No, not usually

K: But, sure, in this case.

H: In this case, sure.

K: Sure. Oh!

H: Someone, someone texted me on the internet.

K: But, wait.

H: What?

K: Oh, that's just a half one.

H: That's just a half one.

K: Oh, OK. I was like, but where is that thing at the... that looked like... hmm.

H: Looked like what?

K: Like a ladder into a hole in the wall.

H: Oh, woah! What's that?

K: Uh.

H: Uh. Oh, we're gonna ride on a dinosaur again! I love this part.

K: That stream we go down. OK, OK, OK. Oh god, oh god. Oh, good jump! Good bounce. You do all the bouncing, K?

H: K.

K: Oh! I don't know if we can bounce it!

H: Aw! Aw, right into the death.

K: Wait, what's this?

H: What is it? Hey, it's a clam!

K: It's a frog person.

H: It's a--

K: Hit him again!

H: Before he commits suicide.

K: What's the point?

H: It's some kind of, ah, barbecue grill.

K: [laughing] It does look kind of like a barbecue grill.

H: What are you doing? Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Oh, no! Well, we killed that thing.

K: Why?

H: I don't know, are there more of them?

K: He fell through the hole.

H: We killed the barbecue grill

K: Oh, no! Oh, no.

H: Oh no, it's a dead. Alright. Put me back on the doo-pa-id-ox. 

K: [mumbling] jump with 2. Alright, it was moving. Oh, no!

H: OK, we got to go straight. We got to go super straight! Got to go super straight. Uh! Oh, wow. That's a tight one.

K: Hu!

H: Yeah! Thanks. Oh, OK.

K: Hu, hu!

H: Alright

K: [gibberish]

H: Yes, [gibberish]. Sweep the leg, Johnny.

K: Ha ha

H: Uh!

K: Ah!

H: Oh, this cruel game. You suckered us into the death!

K: For a stamp.

H: For a stamp.

K: Wait

H: Barbecue grill

K: Towards the middle, ow.

H: Ow, stop trying to kill yourself.

K: I want.

H: Oh.

K: Give me all

H: He was just all full of..

K: Coin

H: Coin

K: Give me all your ambassador coin.

H: Oh, I put you on my head. I put you on my head. Alright.

K: Oh, god.

H: We're good at this.

K: So, we can slow down.

H: Yeah, we can slow down. That would probably be a good idea.

K: Especially, in that other instance.

H: In that other circumstance.

K: Yes. Faster, though, over that thing moving.

H: Yup. Hu!

K: Who cares.

H: Yeah, pretty much. I got it with my tail.

K: Nice!

H: Yeah!

K: With ze bounce.

H: OK.

K: Nice, nice. OK. Yes. Ha-oh, boy. Oh boy, oh boy.

H: OK, this one.

K: I mean, who cares about a stamp, really?

H: I agree, I agree. That was too, that was too scary.

K: You go for safety. Nessie!

H: Nessie!

K: Or, whatever your name is. Plessie! I think it's Plessie.

H: Plessie?

K: It's a plesiosaur.

H: Yup.

K: Bye, bye Plessie.

H: Oh, you give it a wave.

K: Give us a hug. Hug? Hug. Hug. Hug.

H: She's like, I don't know what you're doing. I-- you guys are weird.

K: Hug-ah-hug.

H: I'm staring way over your heads.

K: Hug.

H: Let me come with you!

K: I don't want to get in.

H: OK. I'm gonna go. I want to get inside? That's not what you say to a plesiosaur.

K: Like a hug, you know, a real big hug.

H: A real big hug.

K: What's around here? What do you got? You got anything?

H: Nah.

K: Nope.

K: Just me doing a back flip.

H: Do, do, do, [indecipherable gibberish]

K: Hello! Hello, I'm so mad now.

H: Alright, bounce!

K: I fell off.

H: Ah! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do it. I did... though. I did. Thank you for watching this episode of Hank and Katherine play Super Mario Brothers Wii, here on Games with Hank. This has been [laughing] Super Mario 3D World.

K: We were doing so good!

H: We did!

K: So cooperative.

H: I--

K: Until the very end where you screwed me.

H: I didn't realize how far away you were.

K: Really far. I had fallen off.

H: Yeah...

K: Yeah.

H: I thought you were behind me.

K: I was for a little bit.

H: Then you weren't anymore.

K: Yup.

H: Thanks for watching!

K: Bye.

H: Bye. What do we-- do we have like a sign off?

K: Uh? My-- we'll....

H: See you next time on Games with Hank.

K: Wiggle your twiddles next time.