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In which John Green's new novel Turtles All the Way Down is published. If you've read the book, SPOILERY subreddit for discussion and asking me questions: https://www.reddit.com/r/tatwdspoilers/ Please NO SPOILERS here. Read some reviews:

The New York Times calls Turtles All the Way Down my "most astonishing" novel, among many other really lovely things: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/10/books/review-john-green-turtles-all-the-way-down.html

The Wall Street Journal calls it tender, wise, and moving: https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-tightening-gyre-1507608059

This New York Times story talks about my own mental illness and the process of writing the book, which it calls "wrenching and revelatory."

Booklist in a starred review wrote, "it’s a challenging but richly rewarding read. It is also the most mature of Green’s work to date and deserving of all the accolades that are sure to come its way." https://www.booklistonline.com/Turtles-All-the-Way-Down-Green-John/pid=9128995

I really hope you like the book, and thanks to everyone who has stuck with me the last six years as I've struggled to write it. Very excited to share it with you today.

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Preorder John's new book, Turtles All the Way Down, out October 10th 2017! You can find links to both the signed and unsigned editions here: http://bit.ly/turtlespreorder and information on how to (probably) get a signed copy here: http://probablysignedturtles.com
John: Good morning, Hank, it's Tuesday, October 10th, 2017, and I'm sitting on a hotel floor in New York City, which can only mean one thing: my new book Turtles All The Way Down is out now, at least in the US, the UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, and several other countries.

First things first, if you've already read the book, thank you! I hope that you liked it. Also, please do not spoil it for other people. Okay, so I've created a spoilerific subreddit - hold on, that's the elevator. 

(looks around elevator) Oh man, it's "me's all the down". 

(looking in mirror) I can't decide if I should wear a suit. 

Oh, look who I picked up, it's a Hank! 

Hank: Hello.

John: Right, but to return to the topic at hand, I have created a spoilerific subreddit for Turtles All The Way Down where people who have read the book can go and discuss it with each other and also ask questions of me directly. There's a link in the dooblydoo below. We have to go to our rehearsal now. 

We're about to go onstage before our rehearsal show and I'm super stressed out and Hank's just, like, chillin'.

Hank: I'm looking up how many people in the United States are named Caroline. 138,000. 

John: Of course that's what you're doing. Hey, thanks for wearing my, uh, face on your torso, by the way.

A couple other things. I signed over 200,000 copies of the US edition of Turtles All The Way Down, so hopefully you won't have trouble finding an autographed one, unless you live outside of the US or Canada, in which case I'm sorry.

Hello, me from the future here, because me from the past forgot to tell you about the second thing, which is that I wanted to share some of the reviews the book has gotten today. They've all been really generous. The Wall Street Journal called it "tender, wise, and hopeful". The New York Times called it a "wrenching and revelatory novel". It got starred reviews from Booklist and SLJ, and the Guardian said it "might be a new modern classic," which is a bit much, but you know what? I'll take it. Alright, back to the past, which is in your present. Alright, we just did our first warmup show. Hank, how'd it go?

Hank: Bad!

John: No! It went, it went alright! You could kinda tell that we'd never rehearsed.

Hank: Well, this was a rehearsal and I was somewhat surprised when I found out there were going to be a hundred and fifty people there.

John: They were very nice though.

Hank: They were very nice. Especially Olivia who told me all the words to my songs.

John: Hank forgot the words to every single one of his songs but fortunately there was a young woman named Olivia in the front row who had all of Hank's songs memorized, so everything worked out better than expected. I wouldn't actually say "better than expected," I would say "differently from expected."

Hank: It worked out just fine. Is this the final version of the book?

John: It is.

Hank: What does it look like with the dust cover off? Oh, neat, there's a secret.

John: There's a secret. [Hank gasping] There's a secret, yeah.

Hank: I'm not gonna show you.

John: It's pretty cool, right?

Hank: That's great.

John: Yeah, that was designed by people of Nerdfighteria.

Hank: Why didn't you tell me about that? We could have made merch from it.

John: Oh my god. We HAVE merch from it; It's called Turtles All the Way Down. It's available in bookstores everywhere. Okay Hank, I'm gonna ask you some questions from our audience that we didn't get to answer during the show. If 2016 was a giant dumpster fire, what is a visual representation of 2017?

Hank: Is it just, like, what's left after a dumpster fire?

John: 2017, the year of burnt garbage.

Hank: Do you listen to music while you're writing your books?

John: This will surprise you Hank, but I do. Only the Mountain Goats.

Hank: How does it feel to have Hank be a published author?

John: I'm so psyched, I'm so happy, I'm so proud of Hank.

Hank: John.

John: Yes.

Hank: If I...

John: Yeah,

Hank: ...was cast in a movie adaptation of your book, who would I play?

John: I mean, that seems unlikely on a lot of levels.

Hank: Can I be the tuatara?

John: That's actually not a bad call. Show me your best tuatara. 

[Hank makes a "tuatara" face].

Hank: I just got a neck cramp.

John: (John laughing) Oh my god, that's one of the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I'm gonna put up a real tuatara. Let's go back to back, is it a good impression or not, you be the judge.

Hank: But it has to have like, some lines.

John: It definitely does not have lines. The whole point of the tuatara is that it is a cold, dead eyed...

Hank [as tuatara]: Hello Aza. I'm a tuatara. Heyyy.

John: Oh, man.

Hank [as tuatara]: I'm a living fossil.

John: Again, Turtles All the Way Down is out now and you can go to the subreddit, there is a link below if you want to talk about spoilers; please don't talk about them in comments. Thank you, thank you for reading, DFTBA, Hank I will continue to see you right now.

[John puts book up to camera]
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