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In which Hank fails at stealth but still manages to kill that pesky Borgia Captain.
And I'm back. I have returned because last time I failed miserably at killing the Borgia captain represented by that thing on the other side of this wall here, and I must try again. Because I will not--I will not accept failure. Not accept it. And I must a way...Hello? I just want to get over--Ezio! You really suck that bad? Whoof, you almost did really suck that bad.

What. Nothing happened, there's nobody here. Just a hay bale...just a hay bale. And that's how I operate. Just a hay bale.

Okay. So how did I get down there? Whoop! Again. And those guys are bad...but they didn't see me 'cuz I'm SO SNEAKY! That guy...what is that guy? What is he, a doctor? (After your soul! What could be more important?) Oh. What. Oh, don't throw stuff at me. I'mma take this from you, I'm gonna stab you with it, and then I'm gonna stab your friends with it, OH, shoot. Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho, that was awesome. Oh, you should never use a long--a long weapon against me because I just love using them to kill so much! (Order!) And...agh. (Now! Go for the opening!) Mm--agh, come on. Oh, that was *sings* awesoooome! Ah, so cathartic. I'm not even gonna loot those guys, they can keep their money, or their burial ceremonies. 

Can't figure out how to get down there again. I did it no problem last time. There was a thing that I went down. But now, I can't...over there? (We are man.) Hello? It was over here I think? Yes, there it is.

(Stop!) Oh, I had my fists out. That's never good. Ooh, that guy's fast, that guy's fast. Oh, I only had one health potion left. Okay. OHHH! In the face. Okay. I didn't even see those guys! *laughs* Oh, you fell. That's funny. Makes me laugh, when people fall. (What's happened here? Someone saw the fight, surely! Come forward!) As long as that guy isn't running away yet, I'm happy. 

(Where has he got to?) Where is the Borgia captain? There's like, so many bad guys between me and him! (Where did he go?) So many bad guys. (Must have been a local after all.) Mmph. How do I get to him? There's so many bad guys!  Uhh...I can't kill any of them without the rest of them knowing I did it. (Stop. Hold it there.) Who you talking to, me? (I want to talk to you. Hey, you, hold for the watch.)

Stop locking on people, Ezio. (Stop! I've seen him before.) Thank you! Okay. Kill him before he escapes. Done! I killed him before he escaped. Sorry I was quiet there, I was very apprehensive, very scary, really didn't want to have that one go sour after--after screwing it up before. It's definitely your man. Assassinate from behind, assassinate from the front, I can assassinate from every position. I am a--like, Kama Sutra of assassinations. They don't even know.

Where am I going? Hello, where's the out, where's the outdoor? This way. This way is at least uphill, that's good. I need to light a tower on fire, but it's so...I see the out. I see out. Over here.

Where...that's a pigeon coop. No, this guy! That guy, yes, correct. Umm...well that, that would've been an interesting way to uh, penetrate this...Borgia captain's lair. Uh, but I didn't do it that way. 

So yeah, where is this tower? Where's your tower, dude? Must find tower to destroy. My job will not be complete...okay. Um, towers are usually pretty easy to find--there it is. Them being tall, big things. Definitely didn't do this one stealthily. I haven't done many assassin missions stealthily, which is--yes, I actually do need some of this. No, why did I only get one? Wha--I did it again! Ugh, spaz. 

(Auf wiedersehen! That's French.) Nope. That's not French. Okay, you guys are (?). Um, Ezio? Climb. 'Cuz that's what you're here for. *sings random notes* So, climbing, uh, Borgia towers is not my favorite past time, but uh, worthwhile in the end. Gotta do it, gotta do it. Uh, I don't know why they make it so hard! Just want to climb the Borgia tower! You can get to that? No, you can't? 'Cuz that's just ridiculous. What is this thing here for--OOHH! I--ss---am--okay well, somehow--no, I did, I hurt myself very badly. Ugh, Borgia tower. Now those people see me, so I have to kill them. Oh, pbbbt, I was on throwing knives.

Oh, stop throwing stuff at me. Thanks for attacking first so I could attack this guy, kill, and then this guy. Ooh, I step on your head. Okay. Crunching of the skull. Disturbing, but. Oh, how do I, come on! Borgia tower, whyyyy? I'mma go this way this time. Nope, not, cuz I can't. You know, climbing towers isn't supposed to be the hard part of this game! I feel that way strongly. Yes, good.

This is where I was last time! Can't go that way. And I can't go that way. So, I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do. Doin--pushin' all the buttons that I can, I'm doing the jumpy thing. 

Push in every direction...ohhh, come on! The sun is coming up! (Ezio grunts.) Pbbbbt. Crows are angry, I don't blame them. Up! Good. Okay. Keep on going, almost there Ezio. You can do this, this is no problem, WHOOP, no problem, I can do that, but you couldn't--uh, okay. Well. 

That, is the end of this episode of Hank Green plays Assassin's Creed Brotherhood 2.0. And I'm burning down a tower, and uh, and jumping off this thing! Into a hay bale, hopefully that hay bale isn't going to catch on fire, which I assume it would. Oh, those guys are blinky in the corner, yeah that was weird.

What's this? There's a door here! I will interact with it. Oh, it's my--it's an assassins thing. Well I will see you next time. Uh, no I won't. But I won't see you either, but you will s--hear me, next time I play Assassin's Creed. And that should be tomorrow-ish. Okay good-bye.