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Craig: You're wrong. I'm sorry. Hey, facts are facts. If I could rewrite history, I would, but, actually, that'd be... really awesome. But I can't. So, you're still wrong. Sorry. Dr. Fu Manchu is a fictional villain in a series of novels by Sax Rohmer. But he never wore facial hair until he came to life on the silver screen. The Fu Manchu was invented entirely by Hollywood. As am I, I'm a CG character that doesn't exist in real life. Or am I? That's for Truth or Fail: The Computer Graphics Edition, which I'm not sure will ever exist. Let's move on to round two! Look how big my hand is in this shot! Crush my head, crush my head!

Fact one: All US pilots are required by the pilots' union to go beardless to maintain an aura of professionalism. Hey. I look pretty professional with a beard, am I right?

Two: Abraham Lincoln began growing his famous beard after an eleven-year-old girl named Grace Bedell wrote him a letter saying he would look good with one. Whether she did or not, he certainly does.

Which one's it gonna be? While you decide, allow me to reenact Hans Steininger's unfortunate death by beard.

Hans, there's a fire, come help!

Huh, fire? Oop, oop! Bundle up beard, bundle up beard! Trip! Dead.