Good morning, Hank. It's Wednesday. If you're wondering why my foot's over there, it's because a couple things are afoot. ..Anybody? "Afoot"? . . Thing 1: . . Hank, last night Nerdfighter smikenickleby made an important discovery on Tumblr. (By the way, My voice is a little bit husky, I'm sorry about that I have a cough. Ladies? You're welcome.) That discovery was that, as you age, Hank, you will look more and more like popcorn magnate Orville Redenbacher. So, Hank, congratulations on five years of marriage. Katherine, enjoy it now, because you will one day be married to Hankville Greenenbacher. . . Thing 2: Nerd Factor! . . So, Hank, we finally finished going through almost two THOUSAND Nerd Factor video entries! I- I- I cannot believe how much talent there is in Nerdfighteria, and I am sick that we are only picking six winners, because there could be hundreds! But we've made our choices; there are six winners. Winner number one: MitenSoni! . . (Video Clip - Chicago Adventure and the Dark Night by MitenSoni) MitenSoni: Hi! I'm MitenSoni and this is a video-blog! Also, I- I have no hair. I look like fat Gandhi. I look like a really tan Vin Diesel. I look like a hypocritical skinhead. ..OK. Moving on. (End Clip) . . John: Fat Gandhi. This guy's hilarious, Hank, and it's the kind of, like, unpretentious, well-edited, funny, authentic video-blogging that I just love. Also, Hank, that video has, like, 117 views and THREE "likes". It deserves a wider audience. By the way, my voice is not just husky, it is like an eighty-year-old woman who has smoked for the last seventy-four years of her life. John: (in an old-smoker-woman voice) Candace, bring me another cigarette! John: (in his normal, albeit scratchy, voice) I dunno why I named her Candace; maybe I'm watching too much Phineas and Ferb. Winner number two: ssondiyazi's hilarious Thoughts From Places video from Bloemfontein, South Africa. . . (Video Clip - Thoughts from Places: Bloemfontein by ssondiyazi) ssondiyazi: (voice-over) And lo-and-behold, two roads diverge in a yellow wood. And I- ..Well, I took the one more traveled on, cause I'm not trying to get raped on some random hill in the middle of Bloemfontein. (End Clip) . . John: I love everything about this video; I love how he took the Thoughts From Places video format and he made it better. And you know how many subscribers he has, Hank? Zero. There is a guy making brilliant Thoughts From Places videos from South Africa who has no subscribers. Hank, we can't cure cancer, but THAT is a problem we can fix. Winner number three: Kaysysconundrum's Song About Bizarre Fruits. . . (Video Clip - Bizarre Fruits song by Kaysysconundrum) Three people: (singing) Bizarre fruits! Some grow on trees, and some on roots. They're not your average produce. No-o-o! They're bizarre fruit! (End clip) . . John: I mean, Hank, some would say this is just a song about bizarre fruits, but I would say it's THE song about bizarre fruits. Winner number four: lindseythenerdiest, who had me at her user-name, with her rant about romanticizing fictional characters. . . (Video Clip - Fictional Characters: Emotional Pain? by lindseythenerdiest) lindseythenerdiest: Here's what I'm thinking: the surest way to get anyone hooked on a new book or movie or TV series is to make them fall in love with a character. (End clip) . . John: Winner number five: Thomas Jefferson: The Musical! Hank, this video actually has quite a few views, but it is the BEST musical about Thomas Jefferson and the writing of the Declaration of Independence that will ever be made. . . (Video Clip - Thomas Jefferson: The Musical by theonlinemusical) Thomas Jefferson:(singing) My patriotic duty's an astounding bother, as I feared. John Adams: (also singing) Why the hell are you the only founding father with a beard? Thomas Jefferson: (Spoken) Am I? John Adams: (Quickly, spoken) Yes. Thomas Jefferson: (Quickly, spoken) Weird. (End clip) . . John: Hank, before I announce the last winner, I- I just thought of something; I gotta call Mom. John: (On the phone with Mama Green) I have a quick question for ya. I need you to answer immediately, because if you don't answer immediately, I'm gonna think that you're lying. Mama Green: (speakerphone) OK, fine. John: Did you ever know, and/or have a romantic relationship with, Orville Redenbacher? (slight pause) Mama Green: (laughs) No! John: THAT WAS A PAUSE!!! John: (No longer on the phone) And lastly, lullation13's music video for her original song "Permafrost. . . (Video Clip - Permafrost music video by lullation13) Laurena/lullation13: (singing) Sometimes I feel like I am permafrost Alone in the tundra and really lost And to think that this is how I feel Like the ground is melting and nothing's real. (End clip) . . John: Hank, I can't stop listening to this, and her other songs are just as good. I mean, my first-favorite band is The Mountain Goats, my second-favorite band is The Mountain Goats, my third-favorite band is Hank Green, and my fourth-favorite band is now lullation13. It used to be The Mountain Goats. So, there's a playlist below where you can watch all the Nerd Factor winners. If you like them as much as I did, please let people know by commenting, and "liking", and subscribing. Thanks to everyone who submitted Nerd Factor videos. I'm leaving video responses to this video open so you can go there and find amazing stuff made by Nerdfighters. Clearly, I need to give my voice a break, so I'm going back to signing The Fault in Our Stars, but, Hank, I will see you on Friday.