YouTube: https://youtube.com/watch?v=rAV8Tia9W2Q
Previous: Which John Green Novel Am I?: AFC Wimbly Womblys #177
Next: Wimbly Wombly Survivor: AFC Wimbly Womblys #178

Categories

Statistics

View count:53,909
Likes:1,191
Dislikes:31
Comments:230
Duration:07:03
Uploaded:2015-04-10
Last sync:2018-05-05 22:50
In which one mission proves particularly difficult.
John: Unfortunately, my only path to survival is to find this cyclist!

Franklin: This don't make no ******** sense.

John: Aaaaah! I've turned into a monster, Meredith! Oh, I'm no longer the kind of man I can be proud of. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, I don't even have a hood. Now I'm just... Oh, and the police have been alerted to my exploits because, I've done... Oh come on, that, that little trash can stopped me? Let's be reasonable. Oh man, I'm just trying to follow the blue dot at all costs, because I know the, I know the price of not following the blue dot, it's too high. Guys! Somebody let me through! I'm the man without a hood! I'm under a lot of stress!

Lamar: Man, I said punch it homie.

John: I... What are you talking about, Lamar!? Do you want to get behind the driver's wheel? Is that what you want, Lamar? Ah, dang it!

I didn't want to kill anyone in this whole game, and I'm one sixth, one percent through and I've already... Ah dang it!

And now I'm, now I'm in a very tight spot and I'm doing a lot of property damage. Oh golly gee. Oh no! This has not been good for my one and only car.

Franklin: **** I should punch your *** for kicking that **** off.
 
John: Hey! Hey! I am not to blame for this whole situation!

Why do people play this game for fun? I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to play it to, to make the world a better place. Do something for this city of, broken city of Los Santos. I'm sorry about that, but I do need to get through because I'm trying to catch a biker. It's a repossession. That's the same freaking trash can from last time!

Franklin: Hey, you don't see me driving here!?

John: Yeah, excuse me, I'm trying to drive here. What? I apologize. I, that was me, that was my fault. No, I apologize again, that was me again. Oh boy, there's, that's, that's gonna be fun for the kids. They're gonna be able to play in the summertime. Oh boy, OK. Oh, excuse me! Why, ugh.

Lamar: I said punch it, homie.
Franklin: **** I should punch your *** for kicking that **** off. The bike don't mean nothing, homie.

John: The bike really... Ugh.

Lamar: Punch it, homie.

John: I am punching it. Oh no, I'm so sorry!

Franklin: The bike don't mean nothing, homie.

John: Oh God, Meredith, I killed that woman for nothing. I'd like to think that maybe she survived because she seemed to jump just before the, just before the impact.

I'm gonna be honest with you. I've already lost touch with my humanity while playing this game. That's just, that's the point I want to make. Like, I'm already less human than I was when I started, because I... It used to be I felt, I felt real pain when I, when I, when I would kill someone. Even, even a couple hours ago, you know, when Lamar and I first had the shootout, I was just devastated by killing people who were trying to kill me! And now I'm killing complete strangers and it means nothing to me! Ow! Ow! Ooh boy. Oh gosh. Oh boy. Oh man. Alright, hold on, Lamar. I'm gonna try to turn here. I did, I saved your life, you're fine, yeah get up, alright. She's okay, Meredith, thank God. At least we have that going for us. At least that's one person I didn't kill.

I feel like I'm, I feel like I'm more part of the problem in Los Santos than part of the solution right now and that's a bad feeling, like that's just not a feeling you want to have.

Lamar: You's an uncoordinated *****. We need to shoot him off the bike, couple of scraps is better than nothing.

John: Shoot him?

Lamar: Shoot him down!

John: What do you mean shoot him? How do I shoot him?

Lamar: Shoot that ************!

John: I don't know, I literally don't know how to!

Lamar: Oh shit! He down! Dog, we gotta lay low. Hit the bike and meet me at the car wash on Innocence. 

John: OK.

Lamar: Alright, drive safe.

John: Drive safe. I mean, go to the car wash? I'm going to a car wash? I'm going to wash the car? After what just happened? Nobody's treating me very well now that I'm on this moped. Anyway, I tried to do it in the least violent manner possible. Obviously I did hurt the guy and just because he couldn't pay his loan doesn't mean that he should have been injured and I feel like I've kind of dehumanized the other at this point. Like I feel like I'm just so out of touch with my own personhood and the value of other people that I just, I hit that guy just because I thought that he was no more valuable... I was thinking of him as a means to an object and that object being this motorcycle, I was just, like, "He is my way to get the thing that I need which is a motorcycle" and that's not, that's not a way to think about people. You can't think about people in relationship to their, you know, their economic value to you. I did need to get the motorcycle back but I'm wondering if there's a way... I did do it without shooting him which I'm fairly proud of despite Lamar's urging. But I wonder if there's an even better way? You know, a way that also wouldn't have involved hitting him so hard that he flies off of his motorcycle.

What's over here? I don't know. Nobody knows. We're just going to keep going. I'm just gonna keep going. I'm gonna go to the car wash and I'm gonna try to wash off not just this car but all of the sins of the last few hours. Sorry! I went over his ankle. That's gonna hurt. That is gonna be, that's gonna be one of those things where you've got to go to the ER and it just takes, like, eight hours and it's just... Do they have an ER  in Los Santos? They do. OK, good. So at least he's able to get treatment, that's important. But yeah. I mean, it's just gonna be one of...

And that's, like, again in a moment of carelessness I changed someone else's life. Like he's gonna have months of physical therapy, right. Like... And it's just gonna be such a... Like he's gonna wake up every morning and he's gonna be like "Oh, I've got to deal with my, you know, I've got to deal with my cast, I've got to deal with my medical bills, I've got to deal with this and that" and it's all because of this one moment of carelessness by me and I'm starting to, I don't know. I'm starting to glimpse the ways that we always hurt each other, it's... We just don't do a good job of taking care of each other. Oh. Anyway, I'm gonna have to get in the car wash and try to cleans my soul. Cleans? Yes, cleans my soul.