Dodger: Good morning, John!

Jonathan Coulton: Good morning, John.

Yeshmin Blechin: Good morning, Jonathan.

Notch: Good morning, John!

Awesome Hour Attendees: Good morning, John!

Hank: Good morning, John. PAX was amazing, got a bunch of signed MC Frontalot posters, obviously really overwhelming, really fun to go to a conference that I'm not running. Got to hang out with a bunch of cool people, and now I'm just doing the thing where I talk about the conference for a second so that I can show a bunch of footage that I took at the conference that I wouldn't be able to show otherwise, yes, footage, footage, yes, good, yes, yeah, excellent, uh-huh, that was fun.

Okay, done with that. 'Cause we have to move on, there are serious pressing issues here, as you can see where the title of the video. Serious issues lurking just behind Google's front door, the top questions asked to Google that begin with 'Can you really'.

Number one, can you really sell your soul? I don't know why I find this so disappointing, are people trying to sell their soul, do they think that they've already sold their soul or someone purchased their soul without them knowing. Are we in that much debt?But no, as far as I know, there is no way to transfer the ownership of a soul from one person to another for a variety of reasons. One of those reasons being if it were possible, you'd see it on Craigslist all the time, it'd have its own category.

Two! Can you really tip a cow? No, actually, cows are really big, really strong, surprisingly smart animals that sleep lying down. I'm sure it would be possible to tip a cow if you had enough people and in the right situation, but you can't just run up to one and shove it over, they're massive animals, and I would really suggest against bothering one, 'cause every adult cow in the world outweighs every adult human in the world by at least a thousand pounds. There actually may be miniature cows out there, I don't know, are there miniature cows, let me look it up. Yeah, of course there are miniature cows, what was I thinking?

Can you really curve a bullet? No! Only Angelina Jolie can do that, it's a genetic thing. What a terrible movie! I actually saw that in theaters. Can you really make money blogging?

Yes! I actually did it for several years, I paid all of my bills with blogging. It was really hard. And now the scene is much more crowded and competitive than it ever was then, but if you're serious about it, go to copyblogger.com, 'cause that guy helped me a lot. Assassin's Creed axe, grrr.

Can you really fry an egg on the sidewalk? Yes, in many places, you can really fry an egg on the sidewalk when it's hot in the summertime. It does not, however, take that much heat, to cook an egg. But, check out this horrible video of soldiers whose boots are melting to the pavement in Iraq. High five to those guys, come back soon.

Can you really die of a broken heart? Actually, this is a sad fact, in a manner of speaking, yes, yes, you can. Grief is very stressful, and it turns out that people who have recently lost loved ones are much more likely to die. In the 24 hours following the lost of a loved one, you are 21 times more likely to have a heart attack, so that is yes, indeed, very literally, a broken heart.

Can you really get rid of cellulite? You can maintain a healthy body weight, and you can also get expensive plastic surgery, but the cremes aren't going to do you any good, but really, come on, I think you're gorgeous.

Can you really get a free iPad? Yes. You can steal one. But you are not going to get a free iPad by taking an online survey because, duh.

Can you really light a fart? Yes, of course you can, farts are composed of many different things, including methane and hydrogen, which are both flammable gases, but I have to suggest that you do not try this, because it turns out that it's fairly dangerous to hold an ignition source up to your flammable pants and then provide a great deal of fuel for that ignition source to spread across the surface of your pants. I can't imagine how that could go wrong!

Can you really start a fire with an orange? This is another viral video where some guy filled an orange up with lighter fluid and was like, look, oranges are flammable. They're not. They're mostly made of water, and water isn't flammable. Fructose and cellulose are flammable, and that's, but you'd have to dehydrate it first, and then you could light it on fire.

And that's where we'll end it. Everybody, don't try to sell your soul, do purchase iPads, don't try to get them for free, stop trying to light everything on fire, don't worry about your cellulite, everybody's got it, and send all your warm good thoughts to all the broken hearts out there. John, I'll see you on Tuesday.