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Last sync:2023-12-07 08:45
In which Hank & Katherine & Michael & Nick embark on an epic journey through the Mushroom Kingdom in an effort to save the Princess.

Moar Michael?
Moar Nick?


Hank: Hello and welcome to Hank and Katherine and Michael and Nick play Super Mario Brothers Wii. Now some of you may not know Nick, but he is ,uh, our technical director. Uh, he does many things including editing Hankgames, but also editing CrashCourse and SciShow. Umm, and filming us and setting up our studios. Introduce yourself!

Nick: I'm Nick. I do all those things.

Hank: Um, this is Bowser, and he's angry at my castle. Apparently, there's a--

Katherine: Grabbing! He's got grabby hands.

Hank: Apparently, there's a sunroof in the castle. 

Katherine: Punchy! Hands.

Hank: Oh! He punched everybody and then he's gonna--well, he didn't take the princess. He took us. He threw us away from the princess, guys.

Katherine: Where are we going?

Michael: We're having a techno dance party in the sky.

Katherine: Oooh

Hank: That tree had nuts. 

Nick: It's an HD tree. 

Hank: It is an HD tree. 

Nick: This is pretty in HD.

Hank: It's pretty.

Katherine: [gasps] Baby Yoshi!

Michael: Proto-Yoshi!

Hank: Yoshi! Proto-Yoshi?

Michael: It's raining nuts.

Hank and Katherine: Hallelujah! It's raining nuts.

Katherine: I love nuts. What?

Hank: What?


Nick: So I'm guessing Bowser is now making our castle his castle?

Hank: Yes, yes, he's just--instead of making his own castle he's just gonna convert our castle.

Katherine: Our princess is in the castle.

Hank: In our castle.

Nick: Well, at least she's got the creature comforts there.

Hank: For now. Oh spikey-haired dude's headed our way.

[Annoying spikey-haired dude laughter]

Hank: That's creepy! That's a creepy noise.

Katherine: Wow, that's the most annoying thing that's ever happened.

Hank: Oh! "And I'm gonna put this guy over here." "I'M ANGRY!" Wreck-It Ralph is over there. 

Katherine: Oh my. 

Hank: Alright, so we're in the Acorn Plains, and I'm in charge of this rowdy gang of misfits.

Katherine: [sarcastically] Yes, Hank is the leader of course.


Nick: Okay get ready everybody because me using a--

Katherine: Lead us, buddy. Oh, I'm in front!

Hank: Oh this is a familiar level. Ow! Get off my head!

Nick: Okay, figuring out the buttons here. 

Hank: Oh, so many things. 

Nick: Oh! I'm sorry!

Hank: I want it! I want it! Oh no! I wanted that one.

Katherine: Watch the thing!  Get it!

Hank: He-- That one's got a thing too!

Katherine: Oh god!

Hank: It went away.

Michael: How do you use this thing?

Hank: You shake it. 

Nick: Oh, yeah.

Michael: What does it... what does it do?

Hank & Katherine: You can fly a little bit.

Michael: So, you can like...

Hank: You jump a little higher. So, if you jump and then shake it, you go higher. Jump, shake, yeah there you go.

Michael: Ohh!

Katherine: And, then you're a flying squirrel basically. 

Hank: I don't know how to get you up there.

Katherine: It doesn't work like the, uh...

Nick: The bell-er?

Katherine: The uh..., the tail I don't think. 

Michael: Ah, where's the, uh... Wii U controller?

Hank: Oh, it's over there by Nick. Grab that. It's plugged into the wall so, do it slowly. 

[Collective giggles]

Michael: Do you want me to unplug it?

Hank: Yes, and then, yeah, so now we can

Katherine: I don't think things are going too well.


Hank: We can use the Wii U controller to build things.

Nick: Oh, that's not where I put that

Katherine: Oh god.

Hank: Go! Go! Yeah! Aah!

Michael: Okay.

Katherine: Ground pound it!

Hank: Get that... thing!

Michael: [Mumbles] 

Katherine: I bet it's, uh, uh...

Hank: Get it, dude! Oh my god, you are terrible at the game!

Michael: How do you... how do you ground pound?

Hank: Just go, go! Just hit it from the top! Oh, everybody.

[Collective groans, some of failure and others of success]

Nick: God dang it!


Nick: Okay

Hank: Aah...

Katherine: Okay!

Hank: Aah!

Nick: Okay...

Katherine: I bet we're going to run out of time.

Michael: Oh, crap.

Hank: Yes. I actually have noticed that the time limits on this game, we've played a little bit by the way, are, uh, are surprisingly vast... Oh! As soon as I got the thing, I lost the thing...

Nick: I want it! I don't need it-- Oh god. 

Katherine: [Anxiously screams] Aah... A turtle.

Hank: A turtle! Nice!

[Random exclamations]

Katherine: [laughter]

Nick: Ohh, this Wii remote is so tiny!

Katherine & Hank: It is tiny.

Michael: There's a lot of people in this game. 

Hank: We are, yes, we are a 'motley' crew. Get it! Get it, get it-- yeah! Woah!

Katherine: Well, well done everyone.

Hank: Multi-pounded. 

Katherine: Multi-pass. 

Nick: Nice!

Michael: Multi-pass

Hank: Clearly that was multi-pound. 

[Collective laughter]

Katherine: Oh boy. 

Hank: It's what...

Michael: Woah.

Hank: No, wrong name.

Nick: Wrong name. 

Hank: Rupalsam

Nick: Completely wrong name. 

Hank: He! He! Oh, I can't get it. 

Nick: I can't get it. 

Hank: Can't get it.

Nick: Kill! I'm gonna...

Hank: Get it! Get it! Gah!! The first death! I got the first death, guys! Aren't you proud of me? 

Nick: Way to go man. Oh, give me, give me, yeah!

Hank: Get out of my... I need that... Second death, guys!


Katherine: Hooray!

Nick: Oh! I didn't even see that thing!

Hank: Give me, give me it. 

Katherine: Did anyone go down the pipe?

Hank: No.

Katherine: Then what was that noise?

Hank: I... just got... a mushroom

Katherine: Oh... Oh, no! The squirrel, I hate you!

Hank: Hey guys! Third death! 


Michael: Oh, there's a-- a secret back here.

Katherine: A secret?

Nick: Okay, I'm going to get the flag.

Hank: Oh, I'm stuck. Oh!

Michael: The secret is a boring thing. It doesn't go anywhere.

Katherine: Oh!

Nick: I'm in-between now.

Hank: You are, underneath.

Katherine: Ah! Toad, explorations.

Michael: What the heck. 

Hank: Exploration. Oh, Get it! Get it! Gonna get it. 

Michael: Imagination. Imagination!

Hank: Constipation.

Katherine: [Laughter]

Michael: Conformation.

Nick: Everybody gets. And Katherine takes it all away.


Nick: Ah! Ohh.

Hank: Ohh.

Katherine: You had to know that it was going to be that way. 


Hank: No, no! There's a girl in the pipe! Oh. She's not. 

Katherine: What?

Hank: I thought you were in the pipe!

Katherine: No, I'm just green, despite the color. 


Michael: Oh, again, I missed it.

Katherine&Nick: Get it, little toad! Get it, get it!

Katherine: Get it, little Toad! Everybody's squirrels.


Hank: Everybody's squirrels: the new album.

Katherine: Everybody got the squirrels, hooray!