John: Good Morning Hank, it's Tuesday.
Hank: Good Morning John.
J: Oh, it's a surprise reunion video. Who would have guessed it?
H: I would never, I didn't even know I was here.
J: Alright Hank, I have some questions for you. First question; how many potatoes did the average Irish person eat per day in 1844?
H: Do you want me to guess or know for sure?
J: Yes. I want you to guess.
H: I'm gonna say six.
J: Forty five.
H: Wait, what?
J:The average Irish person in 1844, man, woman and child, average human, ate 9 pounds of potatoes per day. Hank, can you really grow potatoes on Mars?
H: Not the way they did in the movie.
J: Okay.
H: But yes, other ways. Do you want me to get into it?
J: A little bit.
H: Alright, well you've got some serious problems with Martian soil.
J: Mhmm.
H: It's got perchlorate in it which is a big, big issue 'cause that's toxic to humans and also plants.
J: Kay.
H: If you can get that out, if you can get some of the other bad stuff out and you can put in some good stuff. Yeah you could grow potatoes on Martian soil.
J: Even without an atmosphere?
H: Oh no, you'd have to build a thing around it.
J: You'd have to build an atmosphere.
H: Yeah.
J: (Laughs) Hank, did you know that potatoes were responsible for at least 25 percent of Europe's population growth between 1700 and 1900?
H: I'm noticing a trend here.
J: What's the trend?
H: Potatoes seems to be the trend in this Question Tuesday video.
J: It's weird, I just got a lot of potato questions, I don't know why.
H: I also didn't know that. Fascinating and I bet there's a Crash Course video.
J: There is, you can watch the Columbian Exchange Crash Course video currently on Hank's head. Okay Hank, if you could create anything with potatoes, what would it be?
H: A man, a fully, a sentient being.
J: Like Mr. Potato Head? They already did that, they already did that, it's in Toy Story.
H: No, but I want him, I want him to be a thinking, feeling potato man.
J: Have you not seen Toy Story? Please name three potatoes.
H: The Russet.
J: Yep.
H: The Purple.
J: Yep.
H: The Goldie Hawn.
J: That's a good potato name. If they haven't done that, they should.
H: (Laughs) They should.
J: They should. Why isn't there a potato named after Goldie Hawn? She's an American treasure. Hank, can you rename one of your favorite books by replacing one word with "potato"?
H: Red Potato, The Fault in our Potatoes, The Lord of the Potatoes.
J: Oh, I hate that book. I mean, both The Lord of the Flies and The Lord of the Potatoes.
H: Oh, I was talking about The Lord of the Rings.
J: Oh! I have to teach Lord of the Flies this year in Crash Course: Literature and I just openly revile the book so it's going to be very challenging.
H: Oh wow, that'll be very interesting.
J: I'm quite fond of, uh, Their Eyes Were Watching Potatoes. This is a good question. Which of you has a better potato impression? You know, potatoes have eyes just like humans.
H: Not just like humans.
J: (Laughs) Couple questions not related to potatoes, Hank.
H: Oh, psssh.
J: Sorry to do that for you.
H: I'm completely unprepared for this.
J: What's the opposite of potato?
H: That is a potato question.
J: Henry, do you know what the opposite of potato is?
Henry: No
H: The opposite of potato is the vacuum of space.
J: I was going to say that the opposite of potato is a boysenberry. Actual non-potato related question Hank, are you stressed about the Presidential Race?
H: Oh God, yes.
J: What is your favorite One Direction song?
Henry: My favorite song is...
J: Yeah.
Henry: Falleralla boom.
J: Henry's favorite song is falleralla boom, which is what he calls Bomfalleralla, the Swedish hip-hop song on the Fault in Our Stars soundtrack. Hank, what do you prefer, potato pizza or pizza potato?
H: Potato pizza.
J: I also like potato pizza, it's an old favorite of mine. Underappreciated pizza.
H: Yeah, actually I've had a lot of good potato pizzas. In the Western Montana Fair they have a thing called a Tater Pig.
J: Mhmm
H: A Tater Pig is just a hollowed out potato with a hot dog shoved in it. It's not very good.
J: Alright Hank, thank you for participating in Question Tuesday. Hank, I'll see you on Tuesday, Friday, whatever.
H: (Laughs)