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A little something different for your asses. Also, this is what I'm like sober. Weird right? GO SEE THE FAULT IN OUR STARS! SUBSCRIBE, YA DRUNKS:

And obviously subscribe to John because he is a much smarter person than me.

Gettin' my friends drunk:
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Mamrie: Uh, so, hello! I'm doin' something different today. As you can see, I've bought a bar.

John: I'm Mamrie Hart, and you deserve a drink.

Mamrie: I know, and I want to give you a drink, but I'm on Sudafed.

John: And this is not an actual bar.

Mamrie: No. We are at the YouTube space, and I'm here  with... What was your name?

John: John Green.

Mamrie: John Green.

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: Who, if you don't know who he is, please unsubscribe to my channel right now.

John: Don't do that! I'd, I'm a too huge of a Mamrie Hart fan!

Mamrie: Okay. Crawl out of my ass, we got work to do. 

John: Mmmm... but I love it in there!

Mamrie: BUTT I love it?!?

John: Hey-Ohh!

Mamrie: We're on a roll.

John: Yeah, oh!

Mamrie: A, uh, Sudafed roll.

John: A toilet paper roll, maybe.

Mamrie: So today we are talking about The Fault in Our Stars is coming out. Which is a wildly successful book that John wrote. I mean, dare I say it? Oprah has read that shit.

John: Possibly, possibly. Yeah...

Mamrie: Oprah has held it in her hands.

John: It's possible.

Mamrie: Like Gayle, after a hard night. Right?

John: No comment.

Mamrie: Okay, whoa. Not trying to piss off Harpo! All right, great.

Good to know-

John: Well it's more I'm, I'm afraid of Gayle.

Mamrie: Oh!

John: It's not Oprah!

Mamrie: Oh. Gayle goin' all Solange on ya?

John: No, I'm just a big fan of Gayle!

Mamrie: Really?!

John: YEAH! 

Mamrie: Whoa!

John: You aren't?!

Mamrie: You're more "Gayle" then "Op's"?

John: Ummm, I mean I love them both. I think that they're both like extraordinary people. But I, I like, I, I choose- I like listen to Gayle's radio show on Sirius XM satellite radio. 

Mamrie: Is the show at night and it's called NightinGayle?

John: No! Huge opportunity missed!

Mamrie: Goddamn it, Gayle! Get it together!

John: It's almost like they need to hire you just for puns, like all media needs to hire you for puns.

Mamrie: I literally... I have an IMDb credit, on the Joan Rivers' documentary as "pun consultant". 

John: Are you serious? 

Mamrie: Because I named the movie. So, if anyone needs a pun consultant....

John: Wait, what is that movie called? 

Mamrie: Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work

John: You are responsible for, for the, title of that movie?!

Mamrie: I am!

John: That's a great movie!

Mamrie: Yeah! And it's-

John: The title, for me the title is just okay-

Mamrie: Okay. Well we're gonna talk more about titles in a little bit.
*laughs* That was almost a segue! But first, uh, I came up with some questions that I want to ask you, and I am calling this- do I sound weird? Because I am so stuffy in my head. Do I sound weird?

John: No, you sound beautiful...

Mamrie: Thank you!

John: Just, can you try to do "I'm Mamrie Hart."

Mamrie: I'm Mamrie Hart!

John: Yeah, you sound a little weird.

Mamrie: Okay great. Just making sure.

So, I came up with 10 questions and I'm gonna call th- what? And I'm gonna call this my Naptitude Test!

John: There's so many cameras I don't know which one to look at.

Mamrie: I know! Jesus. Like, don't steal anything! Um, anyway, this is my naptitude test. I'm gonna ask you 10 questions and based on your answers, I'll... tell you how boring you are.

John: Great, okay.

Mamrie: Great! But it's also about your book! I'm trying to keep it relevant.

John: (inaudible)

Mamrie: All right. Number 1: What is the first thing you remember writing that you were proud of?

John: Uh, in third grade I wrote a book called-


John: Sorry, I was really proud of it!  It's a great- it still holds up!  It's called, "It Just Isn't Fair" and it's about a kid, who wasn't me at all, who gets bullied, but then he gets a good Swatch watch and then he doesn't get bullied anymore because everyone is like "Man, I really like your Swatch!"

Mamrie: It's a great message: If you're getting bullied, get yourself some sweet, sweet!

John: Yes!

Mamrie: I was most proud of a runaway note I wrote in 6th and it was a haiku!

John: Can you read it to me?

Mom I gots to go             
You don't get any good snacks             
Fuck this place, I'm out

John: *laughing* That's one of America's great haikus.  And they say, you know they say-

Mamrie: Get off my back  e. e. cummings!

John: They say that the Japanese mastered that art, but I don't think it was really until JUST NOW!

Mamrie: I'm nodding off!


John: Oh, sorry I forgot who you were...

Mamrie: Save the Japanese for the Hannah interview

John: Sorry.

Mamrie: Uh, number two, what are three ways to overcome writer's block?

John: Um, my dad always says to me, coal-miners don't get to get coal-miner's block. 

Mamrie: Ohhh.

John: So it's your work, do your work.

Mamrie: Ohhh.

John: And the second way--

Mamrie: Was your dad a coal-miner?

John: No. He was the state director of the Nature Conservancy in Florida. 

Mamrie: Well, you know what, the state directors of the Nature Conservancy in Floridas don't get the state director of the Nature Conservancy in Florida block. Dad. 

John: Yeah, that's how I do it.  I don't know, how do you do it, you write a lot.

Mamrie: When I'm starting to get writer's block, I just hang out with my friends. Jack, Jose--

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: --and my Russian friend, Smirnoff.

John: Good friend of mine, too, actually.

Mamrie: Yeah, yeah.

John: I actually, when he and I hang out, we usually bring my friend, Grapefruit Juice. 

Mamrie: That kid had hippie parents. Number three, did you use a ghostwriter?

John: Yes, I did, I'm just like James Patterson, I write the outlines--

Mamrie: Perfect.

John: --and then I send it to Grace Helbig, and she writes the novel.

Mamrie: Heard of her. Number four, did you watch the 90s PBS Kids show Ghostwriter

John: I did not.

Mamrie: Okay, number five, did you see the Nicolas Cage film Ghost Rider about a skeleton who rode motorcycles and some other stuff?

John: It is, I mean, it's one of, I would argue, one of Nicolas Cage's four best movies.

Mamrie: Oh, what are the other three?

John: Um, the one where he has the funny bird hair that inspired the meme, then he's-- there's a big thing and-- about witches and they're gonna burn down the witches.

Mamrie: Oh, Witch Hunter?

John: Yeah. Maybe? 

Mamrie: Maybe.

John: I don't know what it's called.  Uh, and then Face Off, was he in that? 


John: Or was that John Travolta? 

Mamrie: I don't know, it's a toss up.

John: Yeah, um, and then lastly, that... um, um, uh Con-Air

Mamrie: Con-Air is an American classic.

John: I would say if like, the AFI releases a new list of 100 Best American Films like, for me, it would be nestled right between Citizen Kane and Godfather.

Mamrie: Ahh, Citizen Kane is a-- fails my naptitude test, that shit boring.  Anyway, number six, I'm actually writing a book with Penguin Random House, out spring 2015, but I got --

John: Pre-order now.  Can you pre-order yet?

Mamrie: No, not at all.

John: Oh, don't pre-order it.

Mamrie: I gotta go write it after this. But I know a lot of success for a book is the title, so I'm gonna give you three options--ahhptions, goddammit, Sudafed, I'm going to give you three options, and you decide what the name of my book should be, okay? 

John: Okay.

Mamrie: A, Writing and Wronging

John: No.

Mamrie: With a 'W'.  Number two, Drinkin' and Stinkin'. 

John: Yes.

Mamrie: Or number three, The Unauthorized Biography of Mamrie Hart, Written by Mamrie Hart.

John: How about--

Mamrie: I'm not going to authorize that shit.

John: I'm going to throw this out, Drinkin' and Stinkin': The Unauthorized Autobiography of Mamrie Hart by Mamrie Hart

Mamrie: Hey.  I like anything that adds a colon. Stinkin'

John: God, I can't, I can't, I mean, it's funny, 'cause I always make fun of Grace for not being able to make it through your jokes without laughing, you just have to make it through like one second in order to make it work, but then I can't make it through your joke without laughing. 

Mamrie: I love it. Thank you.

John: So I'm screwing up your jokes, I'm sorry.

Mamrie: Dude, screw it hard. Uh, number seven, what would your pseudonym be? 

John: Oh, um, I really wish that I had written with the pseudonym Ansel Blew. 

Mamrie: Ansel Blew? That sounds like a male model.

John: It sounds like a male model who has a particular interest. 

Mamrie: What does it mean?

John: It's the past tense of blow. 

Mamrie: Ohhh!

John: I was making fun of my friend Ansel Elgort, who's in the movie. 

Mamrie: Ohhhhh, shout out, inside joke, I didn't get it either, kids. 

John: I didn't either. I didn't really either. Can you ask that question again?

Mamrie: What would your pseudonym be? 

John: Oh. But I'm way too narcissistic to even imagine using a pseudonym.

Mamrie: Okay, well, you know how they have, like, they have 'how to figure out your hooker name' it's like, your first pet and the block you lived on?  Let's figure out--

John: By the way, my hooker name is Lou Reader. 

Mamrie: No way!

John: It is.  It is.  I lived on Lou Road, and my first pet was named Reader, because he was a fish that I would read with. 

Mamrie: Oh my God. See, my hooker name is Tilly Mainstreet.

John: Oh boy!

Mamrie: No, but I tell people that it's Cleo Dirt Road Behind Wendy's. Um, but let's say, a combination--uh, what's a nerdy-ass combination?  Uh, your favorite school supply--

John: And the last name of your favorite author? 

Mamrie: No, and the-- and your favorite snack.

John: Favorite school supply and favorite snack.

Mamrie: Yeah.

John:  Um--

Mamrie: So mine would be--

John: So mine's gonna be, um, mine's going to be--

Mamrie: Key-- go ahead.

John: Well, who's yours?

Mamrie: Keyboard Doritos.

John: Keyboard-- mine's-- I'm Sharpie Cheetos.

Mamrie: Sharpie Cheetos! We can do a whole tour together! 

John: Sharpie Cheetos and Keyboard Doritos go on the road together.

Mamrie: Oh my go--wait a second, this is perfect, because those also sound like jazz musicians, and something I wanted to do today for the first time on this channel is something called the Tiny Blues.  So I wore my tiny harmonica and so I like to wear this when like, something, you know, the real blues, it's like, real, it's heartache, it's like, losing a job, something like that. But you can also have the Tiny Blues for other things that suck. So I'm gonna give you an example and then I want you to sing some Tiny Blues, okay?

John: Okay.

Mamrie: So, this Tiny Blues is about when you-- they don't have your flavor at the FroYo store, okay?

I went to get FroYo. And to my dismay. They didn't have peanut butter. What a shitty day! I got them Tiny Blues.

All right so you write one!

John: That was excellent! 

Mamrie: Thank you.

John: Can you do another?

Mamrie: Uh, sure, what's a Tiny Blues? 

John: My issue is that I-- I don't know if you ever heard me sing. In fact, I strongly think that you haven't, because you asked me to participate in this, whereas no one who's ever heard me sing would ask me to participate in this.

Mamrie: What's your pseudonym? Somethin' Cheetos? 

John: Yeah. Uh--

Mamrie and John: Sharpie Cheetos.

Mamrie: What's bothering you?  We'll write it together.

John: Um. Well. Gosh, I don't really have any problems right now.  I'm pretty excited about my movie. 

Mamrie: All right.

John: Um. 

Mamrie: Way to connect.

John: Oh, you know what? You know what? You know what? 

Mamrie: What?

John: My, uh, I only-- they only gave me two suits for my whole press tour. 

Mamrie: Oh my God.

John: And so my suits are gettin' a little stinky.

Mamrie: OHHHH KAY. All right. What can we do?

John: That's the smallest blues of all. 

Mamrie: [humming] Okay. Got it. I think-- I think. Okay. 

John: She's getting there. She's working on it. 

Mamrie: Okay. Got it.

John: This is like watching in Walk the Line. This is when Johnny Cash...

Mamrie: Yeah, this is his process. Sudafed and a tiny harmonica. [laughter] Okay.

Check out what I'm wearing, it's starting to stink, they only got me two suits, wha-at did they think? I got the Stinky, Tiny Blues!

Okay, just a couple more questions. Ahhh...

John: I love you so much.

Mamrie: I love you, too.

John: This is hilarious.

Mamrie: Good. Well, here's your next question, which doesn't have a lot to do with writing, but I just need to know this...

John: Yeah, yeah.

Mamrie: ... as a friend, what was the first thing you ever dry humped? Inanimate object.

John: Yeah, no, it was a pillow, for sure.

Mamrie: Pillow for sure?

John: I think it was a couch pillow.

Mamrie: See, mine was the arm of the couch.

John: It might have been, might have been.

Mamrie: Okay, moving on...

John: Although, I'll tell you what it wasn't, it definitely was not a person.

Mamrie: Definitely not a human.

John: No.

Mamrie: No. I went side of bathtub, we got pillows, poor Chichi, my stuffed cheetah, she's got some flashbacks [laughter]

John: No, the, yeah, I can tell you the first person I dry humped.

Mamrie: Ooooh!

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: Your wife?

John: Yeah, it was.

Mamrie: Okay, great, good.

John: It was shortly after, shortly after our wedding.

Mamrie: Okay, great.

John: Yeah, you know.

Mamrie: Those are the kind of values I like on my show.

John: I've noticed.

Mamrie: Umm, then this is my last question for you.

John: Okay.

Mamrie: Do you ever think of a cool story and unironically say to yourself, "That's a novel idea!"


John: No, I've never, I've, that's a great, that's a great I, the next time I think of a good novel idea...

Mamrie: You need to exclaim that.

John: I will, I will exclaim that it is both an idea for a novel and a novel idea for a novel. 

Mamrie: Perfect!

John: Very exciting. 

Mamrie: Well here's a novel idea. I came up with a game for you!

John: Yes.

Mamrie: So as we all know, you judge a book by its cover.

John: It's the only way to go.

Mamrie: It's just what you do.

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: That's just what mama taught me.

John: Otherwise how are you going to find out if it's good?

Mamrie: Exactly. Or the opposite. We should probably tell the kids watching the opposite. You shouldn't judge a book by its cover. And that's a metaphor. Like...

John: With actual books, you shouldn't read them or anything, you should just look at the covers and make conclusions.

Mamrie: Yeah, you skim and get Cliff-notes. Come on now, we all went to college.

John: Oh God.

Mamrie: But so what I did is I took some book covers and I marked out the title, and so me and you are going to judge this book by its cover and then try to figure out what the title is.

John: Okay.

Mamrie: So what's a cool name for this... judge... judgy... look... we'll call it a look book. How's that?

John: That's all right. Oh, this is a good one.

Mamrie: So this is great, this obviously... and these are all real books, just so you know.

John: Yeah. (13:31)

Mamrie: So I would say just falling in love, exercise bike.

John: It's about exercise addiction, she has fallen in love with exercise. 

Mamrie: Maybe it's called breaking the cycle

John: Oh YES!

Mamrie: Breaking the Cycle

John: Oh, wow! you are... God you are such a, you are so gifted.

Together: Exercising Her Options

John: That's also a good pun.

Mamrie: Yeah, that's pretty good all right.

John: We should have thought of that.

Mamrie: I know. Next one. Oh wow.

John: Oh my. oh um.

Mamrie: I did not know the Amish's hats were so Mickey-like.

John: That's a nice... more Minnie. I would go um... I'm gonna go Amish Paradise. The Weird Al song.

Mamrie: Ooh. I beat him last night.

John: I know. Not physically, Just on a show. 

Mamrie: (laughing) Exactly. 

John: She would never hit Weird Al.

Mamrie: Never, not again. Not again. 

John: No, I mean. Tell you what, you hit Weird Al once you have learned your lesson.

Mamrie: I love how you do this, just without the snap,

John: Is that something that we're supposed to do?

Mamrie: Yeah, the snap Z.

John: Oh, I did not know that.

Mamrie: Haven't you seen BAPS, circa 1992?

John: I don't know what BAPS is.

Mamrie: I am going to guess that this is called Amish You.

John: Oh God, that would be great! Please be called Amish You. Please be called Amish You.

John: Ruth?!

Mamrie: Romance in Amish Country.

John: Oh, is there any other kind of romance?

Mamrie: Yeah, there's a lot of other kinds. You should look into it.

(both laugh)

Mamrie: Ooh, Sweet Valley High. 

John: She is holding what appears to be...

Mamrie: ...her own picture.

John: ...her own picture.

Mamrie: That's gotta be tough if you are an identical twin. You can't like look longingly at your si--- I mean longingly would be bad anyway. But like if you have pictures of your sister up in your house everyone will just think that you are super narcissistic.

John: Yeah, Yeah. It's like, "no that's my, I love my sister, that's all'

Mamrie: Either way it's kind of weird. Uh ... Miss My Sis?

John: Um, can Jessica face life without Elizabeth? Um. Sister... I'm not very good at this game. Sisterless.

Together: Sisterless. Dear Sister!

John: We got half..... we were half way there.

Mamrie: that sucks. Oh, Dennis Rodman.

John: I think I almost remember the name of this book, because I think that I owned this briefly....

Mamrie: Oh really?

John: I am embarrassed to say.

Mamrie: Is it called Dennis Rodman in Touch My Balls?

(both laugh)

John: Look how big my balls are. Are these not the biggest?  I have elephant.... Maybe it is just called Elephantitis of the Balls.

Mamrie: Huge balls.

Together: Bad as I Wanna Be. 

Mamrie: Well you're pretty bad Dennis, because that shit sucks.

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: Real bad. Oooh. Her secret craving is about to get stronger. I'm gonna say that this book is called I Eat Humans.

(both laugh)

Mamrie: She is just straddling his ass.

John: Yeah, I mean, um yeah, he's got a very strong core. And he has that V-shaped torso that I have always aspired to, by the way there was a Wall Street Journal profile of me today that described me as... Wait for it... "pear shaped." Up high!

Mamrie: You're fucking kidding me.

John: Would I be going up high if I...

Mamrie: I will not follow through. That's a down low. Pear shaped? 

John: Well I had described myself as a...

Mamrie:  Pear shaped?

John: ....pear shaped and yes. 

Mamrie: I am going to get a New York Times subscription so I can unsubscribe. 

John: Wall Street Journal.

Mamrie: Well I can't give up my WSJ, no way.

John: I know you are such a... what is this book called?

Mamrie: It's called Eat Play Lust? which is clearly a rip-off of Eat Pray Love. 

John: Yeah, but it is just erotica.

Mamrie: But wouldn't you be pissed is someone can out with a book called like The Fault in Our Cars, like how to fix your Chevy?

John: No, I would be excited. I am waiting for... I mean when you've really is made it is when they have made a porn version of your book, you know. Like you know.

Mamrie: Ooh!

John: Yeah. That's what you dream about. As a writer you dream that some day your book will be made into a movie that is so good that they make a porn movie.

Mamrie: Well now I have to name my book Drinkin' and Stinkin'.

(Both laugh)

Mamrie: All right. Okay here we go. 

John: Oh, wow, this is... Is she using a vacuum cleaner on her breast?

Mamrie: On her nipple, on her nipple. So what do you think this one's called? 

John: Is that a thing? 

Mamrie: I don't know. 

John:That's what someone would say if they were into it.

Mamrie: A Dustbuster, maybe. This one's called like, I Wanna Vacuum You. Facuum.

John: I Wanna Facuum?

Mamrie: Or like, Suck Me

John: Suck Me

Mamrie: There we go. It is called, A Housewife's Guide to Auto-erotic Devices in the Home. Real book! Moving on, Davy Jones... 

John: Don't move on, Let's go back. Um, and is that for sale now? 

Mamrie: Yeah, I think you can Amazon it. 

Davy Jones's biography. For those of you watching, Davy Jones was like the Harry Styles of his time.

John: More the Niall.

Mamrie: I don't even know one more name. Like, is that one of their names, The Niall?

John: No, his name is just, just Niall. No "the."

Mamrie: Oh de-nial? Oh, I'm old. Davy Jones's biography, what do you think it's called? 

John: I don't know, let's see.

Mamrie: They Made a Monkee Out of Me

John: Oh, that's kind of dark.

Mamrie: That is kind of dark, like he's being puppeteered.

John: Yeah, all you got was so, so rich, Davy Jones, I'm sorry. 

Mamrie: God bless.

Both: OK.

Mamrie: Here we go, "On a world older than time built a upon dope and vice this was...." All I'm saying is this lady's going topless in space?

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: That's a place to go topless because there's zero gravity.

John: Well, also um her lungs I think would implode, so that's the downside.

Mamrie: Yeah, that's the turn off, but the turn on, to the zero gravity. Kate Upton. What do you think it's called? 

John: Let's see.

Both: Sin in Space.

John: I would have gone in a different direction there.

Mamrie: What would you have called it? 

John: Just Sex in Space

Mamrie: Oh, okay.

John: You gotta get... there's no reason, if you are gonna have that cover there's no reason for subtlety.

Mamrie: Yeah it's true. And that's like a .... okay here we go. Christopher Hitchens, Mother Teresa.

John: Um, I've read this book. 

Mamrie: Have you? What's the title of it, then?

John: I can't remember.

Mamrie: The Mother of All...

John: It's very negative, though. He is not a fan of Mother Teresa.

Mamrie: Oh, really? 

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: So what do you call it? A Real Mother Fucker?

John: Maybe.

Mamrie: Okay.

John: Could have been.

Both: The Missionary Position.

John: Almost. You were close. You were in the right ball park.

Mamrie: Yeah, Jesus I am always in that ballpark. I have been locked in that stadium for years. Here we go. Super creep... this is a creepy one.

John: That's not good. That's not good.

Mamrie: That's a creepy one. I think it's called...

John: Learning to Play

Mamrie: ...How to Hide Your Boner

(both laugh)

John: No. Let's stick with Learning to Play. Learning to Play

Mamrie: Low note. It's Easy to Play Classical Themes. 

John: Okay.

Mamrie: It's not easy to get this image out of my head.

John: No. that's gonna be one that sticks with you

Mamrie: More like Nozart, or is that Beethoven? I don't know. 

Together: Baethoven!

John: Yeah, we were together... you got there, you got there.

Mamrie: All right, this lady. I think it's called, Check Out My Asses.

John: Mmm, it probably is. What's it actually called? 

Both: A Passion for Donkeys 

John: You know.....

Mamrie: The original manuscript for Passion of the Christ came from this book. 

John: You know my main complaint is: if you are in this position, why do you not call your book, A Passion for Asses? I mean you are 95% there.

Mamrie: YES! Like, go the last 5%.

John: No one thinks about your passion for donkeys is purely secular, if you catch my drift.

Mamrie: Oh, I'm catching that drift .

John: Yeah.

Mamrie: All right, two more, I think. This one, I think it's called... oh, by Captain John W. Trimmer, 2nd edition. Booze Cruise. Cruising for Love

John: Uh, I think it's called Drinkin' and Stinkin'

Mamrie: They better not. Trimmins, I will come for you. How to Avoid Huge Ships. Second edition. 

John: Yeah, that reminds me of what you should actually call your book. 

Mamrie: What?

John: How to Avoid Huge Shits.

Mamrie: God, I need to read that.

John: Yeah that's, that's...

Mamrie: You ain't helpin' bro.

John: No.

Mamrie: Right?

John: That is essentially the most important self-help book in your life. 

Mamrie: Yeah, totally.

John: Yeah, I'm gonna write that one for you. 

Mamrie: I just want to know why someone would need a second book about how to avoid ships.

John: Obviously someone got hit by a huge ship.

Mamrie: While reading the first edition. 

John: Captain John Trimmer was like I have got to mention, don't read my book. 

Mamrie: The second book just says put down the book and look for the huge fucking ship that's comin' at you. All right last one. Look at this cool guy. Look at this cool fucking Aryan hanging out with a multi-ethnic crew. The sub-line is "from the author of, If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?

John: That's a big question. 

Mamrie: I mean, I'm not religious...

John: In the study of religion we actually called that the problem of theodicy, like how can evil exist in the world if there is a God who is caring? 

Mamrie: You are failing your naptitude test, in reverse.

(both laugh) 

John: I am just saying, if God wants an open locker, how come He doesn't open the locker?

Mamrie: All right.

John: That's the problem of theodicy.

Mamrie: Okay, but what about this dude? What's up with him? Be like, How to Make Friends Outside of Your Race. I think that's gonna be it.

John: I think it's called like, How to Tell People about Jesus.

Mamrie: Anybody Can Be Cool ...But Awesome Takes Practice. We know that. 

John: We do.

Mamrie: We have been practicin' awesome for what? How long have we been doin', 45 minutes?

John: Yeah

Mamrie: Thanks for talking to me. 

John: Thank you, Mamrie.

Mamrie: Congratulations on everything. 

John: Thank you, thank you so much. It's so nice to see you, um, do see the movie on June 6th, I have to say that, but most importantly it's just fun to hang out with you.

Mamrie: That has more plugs then all of those Nicolas Cage films you just mentioned.

John: By the way see those too, they're great. 

Mamrie: Bye. (Laughs) Cool!