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Last sync:2024-02-12 10:45
John had a brilliant plan for getting to the Olympics. He also had a brilliant plan for beating Sarah at Wii Tennis.

Hankgames Highlights are compiled by Kerri ( - if you have a highlight you'd like to see, let us know in the comments!
(Intro - I'm so bad at game!)

John: Here's my idea. The one sport the United States does not field a team in is men's handball. You might be thinking that involves little blue balls that you throw around, context is everything, but in fact it involves a soccer-like ball that you then, um... It's like soccer essentially but with your hands.

J: My idea was that I could be part of a men's handball team that could get good enough to qualify for the Olympics. Um, you know, I could maybe provide funding and coaching and then I would just recruit a bunch of college basketball players or former college basketball players to get really good at handball.

J: And so I wanted to go to the Olympics as...

S: Yeah.

J: ...the sort of least fit Olympian. And I thought this would also be a really great story...

S: Right. Right.

J: ...that people would love the story of it and, you know, they'd make a movie out of us and everything.

S: Well. Yeah. Well when I, when I hear you tell this story whenever I do I, like, see you as a, as a little boy with, like, grand, grand plans.

J: Right.

S: And it's like an 80's movie where you train and you get better.

J: Yeah. Yeah.

S: And everybody learns something.

J: Yes!

S:  And, you know, yeah.

J: You've just summarized exactly what would be so magical about it.

S: Yeah. But there are many, there are many movies like that.

J: Right. I know, but there hasn't been a good one in a while, not since Dodgeball.

S: Yeah. Right. Right. Not a documentary.

J: Right. Exactly. There's never been a documentary about it.

S: Why did your plan fail?

J: Well I would have had to get very fit and I tried to get very fit for, like, three days and then I was like "Eh."

S: Well also, um, you had a little trouble with recruitment.

J: Oh yeah. So I went to my best friend, I went to my best friend Chris, who I used to share an office with, and I was like - Chris is really athletic, a really fit guy - And I was like "Chris, I've got a fantastic idea. We should start a men's Olympic handball team and we should go to the Olympics." And he was like "Absolutely not." Um, and that was kind of the... Oh!

S: That kind of killed it right there.

J: That was kind of the end of the dream because I was like "If I can't do it with Chris it wouldn't actually be that fun with anyone else.

S: Yeah.

J: Like it's only a good story if it's you and your best friend becoming surprise Olympians. It's not as good of a story if it's, um, I don't know, me becoming an Olympian.

S: Right. John and some strangers.

J: Right, like John hiring a bunch of people to become Olympians.

(Smack noise)

S: Ow! Ow!

J: Ooh! Ooh! Oh boy!

S: Oh, that one hurt!

J: That might be a game ender.

S: That was my playing hand.

J: Oh. But you, in fairness you were creeping toward me.

S: I think I might have broke my finger.

J: Are you serious? It hurt that bad? Can you make a fist? I really hit you hard.

S: Ow.

J: Oh no.

S: I think I'm OK.

J: Oh.

S: I'll play through the pain.

J: Oh.

S: OK. Let's finish this.

J: I'm sorry, I'm just a very... I like to gesticulate wildly when I play.