John: Hello! Welcome to Hankgames without Hank. My name is John Green. I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys! Taking on Stoke City in Wembley because this is the semifinals of the F.A. Cup. The semifinals! The game that comes before the finals. Win this game and we get to come back to Wembley, but regardless this is HUGE for our club. Just to have another game at Wembley, which seats 75,000 more people than our current, uh, stadium. 

Just-- just the height of excitement. There is nothing better. You know what the Wimbly Womblys supporters sing, Meredith. Sings: "Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. We're going to Wembley. Que sera, sera." Bald John Green and Other John Green wanted to start today's game, not least because they have an announcement for you. 

By the way, we're taking on the same Stoke City that we took on 2 days ago. Um... look guys, this isn't easy to say. Um, but today's reason why the video is called Big Announcement is that, uh, before the game in the Wimbly locker room... John Green and John Green came up to me. And, um, we had a very frank conversation about the challenges of having a kid.

Uh, their son JJ has been having, I mean you know, just basic--look as he gets older. I mean, in some ways it's hardest to parent an infant. But then it's just like, as they said to me, like when your parenting an infant your just putting in work, right? Like your just putting in hours basically. And you main job is being there. Be there to change the diaper, be there to wake up when the kid wakes up.

Like, it's exhausting, it's time consuming, um, but it's mostly a matter of presence. And that's something that Bald John Green and Other John Green have always been able to do. They are men of extraordinary energy. And um... um, you know, who are just-- and men of extraordinary love. Um, and so-- uh oh! Everything worked better than expected. 

So, you know, in the early days it was, uh, it was relatively easy, but now that JJ is over 1 they are starting to feel like... you know. Having a 2 parent household where both parents are professional football players is not conducive to the kind of family that they want. Um, and the kind of life that they wanna have together. 

And so uh... yeah! It's just, um, I told them that I supported them obviously. We would never be in this situation if it weren't for both of them. We would never be in the Premier League, we would never be on the cusp of the Champions League, on the cusp of an FA cup title after winning the League Cup in the semifinals of the Europa League. I mean, it's been an amazing, amazing run. 

And none of that would have happened without them and we know it. Um... and so, you know, I was like, you know obviously what-- we're going to support you and you're going to be apart of Wimbledon forever. Um, or as long, certainly as long as you wanna be. Um, but I said I hope you guys will consider staying for another season. Um, because I can't imagine us not having the opportunity... I mean, what I said is I can't imagine us not having the opportunity to say a proper goodbye. 

And what they said was that was, um... you know for them it isn't goodbye because they don't want to, uh, they don't want to stop being involved in the club. Um, they just want to stop, uh, playing because, um, it's just too much. Oh! That was almost a great goal! Um... and uh, I basically told them that I... they said, you know, with Dicko and Deeney I feel like we're in great shape and I feel like the club can go on without us and not lose much. 

And I said that's just, in my opinion, not true. Dicko has obviously proven himself to be an amazing, amazing player. Far better than, um, than his... statistics would indicate and that he bleeds Wimbly Wombly blue and he's obviously a great player. Um, but that I didn't feel like we could-- I was like look, if you gave me like a seasons  notice maybe we could've focused on getting the kinds of offensive players that we need to score a lot of goals because we're a goal oriented club. 

But this is pretty sudden and pretty close to the end of the season. And so, the eventual conclusion that we came to is that one will stay and one will go. Um... and they actually haven't decided yet and have said that they aren't going to decide until the off season or maybe even the beginning of next season. But that, um, they need at least one person to be home with little JJ full time. or close to full time. 

And then, um... and then the other will stay and I will, uh, I will increase- I'll double his wages so that he'll have the same... you know, he'll have the same amount of money coming in as a family that they would have, you know, with 2 players playing. I mean, they're certainly worth those wages so that's not an issue. And so, uh... hopefully that's going to work. I mean obviously we don't know which John Green we're losing at this point, but losing any John Green is pretty devastating. 

They're such a huge part of who we are as a club. I think we all love singing that song "John Greens, John Greens. Bald and Other John Greens, they're the best forwards that Wimbledon has ever seen" You get a yellow card for being naughty Jerome!  You were bad earlier. Look at this! That's very naughty! That's girls just want to have fun rude. He's just trying to have fun. 

Halftime. Nil- nil. But you know what? Nil - nil suits us just fine in a game like this. We can just, we can- this is a game where we grind out a result. You know what I mean, Meredith? Um, now Jerome doesn't get to play anymore because he was so naughty. 
Um, so yeah that's the big news. We're going to lose a John Green this season. We're not going to lose both of them, which I think is kind of a victory of sort. 

And they're going to have plenty of resources to take care of JJ and each other and- Oh no. Ah! It was a little bit high on the cross, thank goodness. So, I mean look it's uh, I mean I sound sad because I am sad. Like those guys have been huge. Huge to the club, huge to my own thoughts about AFC Wimbledon and. um... yeah. Just definitely a fundamentally different situation.

But, I know that, uh, I know that Wimbledon is always stronger than a player. And in fact, the one thing that I'd say is that no club is defined by any player or any manager or any supporter. It's defined, uh, by the wider community and that's something that Wimbledon will always embrace. You know? Like we've always been bigger than owners, bigger than players. Um, and we still will be. 

Great save, Seb Brown! Wow! Got out there with his leg and now the Wimbly Womblys are trying to pass it out the back, which is dangerous, but sexy! Like so much danger. Oh no. Meredith, did I make a terrible mistake? No! It all worked out better than expected. Now we're going to go to attacking mode 'cause I'd like to win this game. 

Mainly I don't to, uh, I don't want the boys to be tired. Look at Hells Pells marauding down the sideline! Hells Pells! Hells Pells! Oh it's a nice vault ball! Bald John Green was ready. Will it be him? I mean, I don't even know. I'm interested to hear from you guys which John Green you'd like to see retire because I mean obviously neither. But like, my feeling is just like I truly don't know. 

I mean, they both provide so much value in such different ways, you know? It's difficult for me to even imagine- ak! Correa. One thing that I like about Correa, Meredith, he takes a lot of shots. One thing that I don't like about Correa, he takes a lot of shots. He reminds me a little bit of Shakira. Sings: "Duh-do-do-do-doo-do-doo These hips don't lie" Did it go something like that? 

Meredith thinks it doesn't go something like that. Sings: "Oh baby when you talk like this, you make a woman go wild... do-do-doo-do-do-doo Shakira. Shakira Shakira? I don't know. It's been awhile since I've heard the song. But I'll tell you what, my singing qualities are just as good as they've always been. 

Let's make a substitution, it's the 74th minute. Meredith, I can't take out John Green and John Green on the day that they're retiring, but everybody else is exhausted. So let's just try to bolster midfield. Uh... Gaulden Child, again has not- he still has not come into his own in the way that we would've hoped. Less Moore, um... no. Let's try to put- let's put Mose Vestergaard on the right.

As you can see here at the end of the season we just don't have a deep enough squad and the guys just get absolutely exhausted. Um... and then uh... yeah I think we should. I mean I think Di Filippo is just going to have to gut it out and Hells Pells going to come in. Yeah, that's a good strong- that's strong though because if we do go to penalties for some reason, like those are 3 guys that I trust to take penalties so.

Alright, 3 substitutions at once just like the pros do. Um... that's right Other John Green, yep, stretch those quads! They're important. Mm-kay, here we go! Here we go. We gotta just score one goal. One goal away from F.A. Cup Final! We're also one goal away from not being in the F.A. Cup Final if Stoke City scores it.

But it's Stoke City, guys! Come on! They're best player is Charlie Adam. The oldest looking 26 year old in the world. That's not good Bald John Green. You're better than that! You know when to make the runs! Okay, Meredith I think that's full time. Oh no, it was offside maybe? Mm-kay, this is getting anxious. I just- don't you desperately want in their retirement announcement game, don't you desperately want John Green or John Green to score? I know I do. 

I know I do. It would only be just. They've given so much to this club. Oh! But, you know, the other thing is that I will say, like, and this another thing that they said to me. Bald John Green is like my body is tired, you know? Like, I'm 34 years old and like I'm slower and it's frustrating. 'Cause I know the talent I once had and I know what that's like.

I remember what it was like to be a good novelist in my 20's. Um, so you know, talent! It's fleeting, like everything. Ohh! That's a good ball! Oh! Nice- nice interception there. Bald John Green back though, oh look at Bald John Green! The kid is 100% courage. Um, that's one thing that I admire still about Bald John Green. Other John Green- great player, great distributor of the ball, but Bald John Green- he's the one that always tracks back. Like he just can't help himself. 

Oh! I thought that I had a little bit of space there! I'm willing to take some long range shots to try and break down the Stoke City defense. But they are, they have so far proven to be very talented. They're- you can tell they're kinda playing for a nil - nil draw and then go to penalties and see what happens. But that is a bad strategy when Seb Brown is in the goal! 

Alright... what minute is it here? I gotta decide if I wanna get real focused. Oh it's the 90th minute, yeah might as well go to attack. Mm-kay... yep, nope! Aw, he was going to be open too! Oh my mouth hurts Meredith. Heh! It's probably because Meredith didn't get to make the substitutions that we have this problem in the first place. She's got a 100% record with substitutions- that was so close! I can tell Bald John Green wanted that. 

Alright we're headed into extra time, friends! Um, it's win or go home here. So, we've gotta find a way to win. Um and uh... because we've already won 1 trophy this season, we want this to be our annus mirabilis though. The year that we just um... you know that everything comes together. Hm, as he dribbles out of bounds.

That everything comes together perfectly. A year that we remember that they sing about. The year that was either Bald John Green or Other John Green's final year, yet to be determined. Um, you know? Like the year that uh... Oh god. Oh god! Oh, everything worked out better than expected. Pass it out of the back! Good job, good job.

Don't try to steal the ball off of Other John Green, you kidding me? Are you kidding me? That guy is tougher than a bag of rocks! Are a bag of rocks tough? Or are they just hard? I don't know, that may have not been my best analogy. Oh... it's getting anxious! It's getting anxious around here! Oh no! Pass out of the back like the Wimbly Womblys do, yes. Wait for him, yes. Wait for Callum Kennedy. Yes, oh it's Di Filippo. Di Filippo, Di Filippo he's got a little bit of space! That's all he needs! To Jacqua-Ahhh!

Hm... desperate times. I think, uh, the Gaulden Child could've taken a couple of dribbles there. Meredith's anxious, she hates penalty shootouts.  I hate them too, but you know what we've got going for us Meredith? Do you know? Do you know? Seb Brown. Yeah, he saved 2 penalties against Luton Town to send us into the Football League in the first place. The guy's a penalty specialist. 

Come on Seb. Ahhh! Didn't go deep enough! Alright we're going to go to the 2nd half of extra time here. It's discouraging, worrisome. Oh boy. Okay, let's just get it over with guys, we've made out 3 substitutions. We know what's ahead of us. Um... We've just gotta go. We're going to be attacking and we're going to try our best to find a way. That's a nice ball, yep. Oh! Look at H. Walter White getting fouled because he's so tricky. 

Alright, let's just put the ball in the box and see what happens. Not bad! Ahhh! Alright, this is stressful. I just- I mean, I really wanna win the F.A. Cup in what will be one of the John Green's last year. I mean that trophy means so much to them. They've had so many days of glory and suffering in the F.A. Cup. And, uh, you know- you just desperately want it to happen for them. 

But things don't always work out that way, like I desperately wanted Steven Gerrard to win the F.A. Cup this year and, uh, it just didn't happen. It's brutal. Brutal! We'll see how things go here. Oh, ohh! Bald John Green! OHHH! OHHHH! He's bald- kiss the ground that you love! Sings: "Bald John Green, John Green. He's give it all for the team. Upon his moustache we're keen. Bald John Green, John Green." 

And in what could be one of his last games as a Wimbly Wombly unless his husband decides to retire instead. Bald John Green came through with a beautiful steal followed by a beautiful goal. And everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts. Oh, it was a great ball, it was a great ball. He's a great man. And now all we have to do is prevent Stoke City from scoring for 1 minute. 1 minute! 

Oh, wow! I don't wanna get ahead of myself, but it looks like we're going to the finals, Meredith. It looks like we're going to have 1 game for glory! We're 1 game from F.A. Cup Finals everybody. Thank you for watching, congratulations to Seb Brown on another fantastic clean sheet and congratulations to Bald John Green on a beautiful goal. Best wishes.